2009 March | Erin Jackson | Stand-Up Comedian

OK so maybe I’m a LITTLE obsessed with the Snuggie…

OK, so I was in my favorite store (CVS) tonite — as I am most nights — and as I was looking for some mailing labels, I came across Snuggies for sale on the value aisle…

I'm not a tattle-tale, but...

Now, I was under the impression that Snuggies weren’t available in retail stores — that they could only be ordered through their official website. But apparently I was wrong. That or CVS is bootlegging Snuggies, in which case I apologize profusely for this post — I’m not trying to get you caught out there C-to-the-V…

All my friends know how much I love CVS. I’m always letting them know about the deals I find — trying to convert the non-believers. Please see the text convo between me and my girl Sandi:

—— SMS Text ——
To: 617*******

Omg, they sell snuggies at cvs. I just bought one. 14.99 now I’m ready for the pub crawl… Hooray!!!

—— SMS Text ——
From: 617*******
Sent: Mar 16, 2009 6:15 PM

Haha. Cvs really does have EVERYTHING!

—— SMS Text ——
To: 617*******

I been trying to TELL you…

—— SMS Text ——
From: 617*******
Sent: Mar 16, 2009 6:17 PM

I’ll never doubt you again.

Anyway, as you know I already have a custom NFL fleece Snuggie, made for me by my girl DWJ…

My Eagles Snuggie!

But I couldn’t pass up the chance to pick up the authentic Snuggie. Because I really want to attend the Snuggie Pub Crawl in DC and I’m not sure if you can do it without an official Snuggie… I’m getting a little discouraged though because I’ve still yet to be notified when the DC Snuggie Pub Crawl is taking place. I joined the mailing list, but we’re almost out of Snuggie weather so I’m wondering if they’re gonna nix some of the cities.

And yes, I’m so serious. First, they’re donating proceeds from the event to charity (or at least they better be!!!) And second… do you know how HILARIOUS that would be?!? I would do a two-camera shoot and recruit a crew of correspondents and hit the streets. Talk about a video blog that writes itself. Drunken Snuggie Monks roaming the Cap City. Man oh man… I really hope I get the chance.

I couldn't resist... $14.99 <i>AND</i> the book light. CAMMAN!

I couldn't resist... $14.99 AND the book light. CAMMAN!

Anyway, that’s me in my new Snuggie. Don’t be a hater. You know who you are ;) Holler.

I think I found the gay saturation point

I never thought I’d say this… but I think I may be breaking up with Samwell — or at least taking a second gay YouTube dance music boyfriend. Thanks to Leon over at ListenToLeon.net, I’ve found the new amor de mi vida: Mr. Jonny McGovern. Not sure if it’s better than “What, What” — or is it worse? Either way, I dare you to find a YouTube video gayer than this one. Of the 4 people I’ve sent it to so far, none has gotten beyond :57 seconds of this video. Or at least that’s all they’ve been willing to admit… ;)

WARNING: This video is NSFW. It’s also NSFPeople with no sense of humor.

Tina Turner blessed me with Holy Water in a greenhouse

Comedy at a crab picking? … Check.

Comedy in a synagogue? … Check.

Guess I can cross Comedy in a greenhouse off my bucket list too!

Exhale… I love my job.

Greenstreet Gardens Center, Lothian, MD

I did a private show last nite just outside Washington at a garden center called Greenstreet Gardens. It’s a straight shot – maybe 30 minutes – from my house but it almost seemed like a different world. Driving up from the street all I saw was the huge greenhouse in the back. But they also have a super-cute gift shop in the front — I would totally go back and patronize them. I bought a soy candle with a cranberry scent… It’s heavenly. I’m burning it right now. YUM! But anyway back to the story — the staff was having a Ladies Night appreciation event for their customers and so they had it catered with good food and wine and I was the entertainment.

Nice digs!

They rented a stage and a curtain and a sound system for meÂ and put it in the greenhouse. Awwww…

The "What's in your purse?" scorecard.

And what would any ladies nite be without the “What’s in your purse?” game… Any woman reading this post has probably played this game at a shower of some sort… If you’re not familiar, here’s how it goes: The host will pass out a sheet with a list of items ranging from “normal” (lipstick, powder) to “no freakin’ way” (pliers, a screwdriver) and there’s a point value associated with every item. And basically the person with the most items on the list in their purse wins a prize.

Well this game was going along just like any other I’d participated in. There was a prize for the winner of each item category and a grand prize winner as well. But then there was a twist at the end. The host for the evening asked which guest thought she had the most outrageous item in her purse and said there would be a prize for the winner. And I was thinking: How do you judge that? There’s no point system for that… Continue reading →

The pitbull, 911 and my E! THS

I pulled up in front of my building the other day and noticed a dog pacing back and forth in front of my building and the two houses on either side. Then it crossed the street and sat on another neighbor’s porch for a while… It didn’t have a collar or a person attached to it so I decided to wait in my car until it was far enough down the street for me to make it safely to my building.

At first glance, I thought it was a doberman. But when it got closer to my car I realized it was a pitbull — YIKES!

Pretty, but scary...

I eventually made a run for it. A few of my neighbors were on their porch in captivity as well, so as soon as I got inside my gate I called 911, who then put me through to Animal Control. In hindsight, I wish I had played it up a bit and been more hysterical. Because they tape those things and I mean, really… how often do you get the chance to legitimately call 911? It could have been great material for my E! True Hollywood Story.

Talk about a missed opportunity.

Facebook status gets Eagles employee fired — ain’t that some ish?

My boy Kenny sent me this article yesterday. I hadn’t heard about it. Crazy. What ever happened to the first amendment? I posted something very similar on my Facebook page and inÂ this blog. What? Y’allÂ gonna ban me from attending games this season–if I can even bear to?…

I hope dude lawyered up. Cause I’m sure this is illegal–or at least I hope it is. Maybe they sign some kind of contract or something when they’re hired to work at the stadium?!?… All I’m saying is you shouldn’t be able toÂ fire someone for being a fan and loving your team so much they want to work for you. Disappointment is only natural when the real backbone, the captain of your team is so beloved in the city and still playing at such a high level. Gimme a break, Philly. You are trying my patience. Whatever y’all are trying to put together, itÂ better be good. Really, really good.

From ESPN.com

A Facebook post criticizing his employer, the Philadelphia Eagles, cost a stadium operations worker his job, according to a story in Monday’s Philadelphia Inquirer. Continue reading →

A great headliner and an apologetic heckler

This weekend I was working in DC again with bud Justin Schlegel and headliner John Pinette. And we had a blast! The shows were great, and John was one of the funniest and NICEST headliners I’ve ever worked with. I really hope we get to work together again.

Me with John Pinette

I love working at the Improv in DC. I’m just as comfortable there as I am at my own house. Seriously. The managers and the staff are like family. I heart them. Here are a couple photos of me and some of my “cousins” ;)

Me and Cousin Skippy

Me and my cousin Lu... We're really close ;)

AudienceÂ member Don was nice enough to send me this photo of me and Justin with his crew. They were fun and I hope they’ll come out to another show!

Don and his gang -- Please notice the hand/head action here. He said he was trying to stop the flash from bouncing off his head... Hilarious!

Haha, during the early show on Saturday I had a very cordial heckler that made me “Tee hee” ;) Check it out below:

Haha, fun times!

Are you there, God? It’s me, EJ

I do not understand this.

What kind of God would allow this to happen? My faith in the inherent goodness of humanity has been shaken. It’s been a week and I just do not understand this. I’m having a hard time putting this post in the ‘GO EAGLES‘ category.

This is my protest. B Dawk forever!!!

Hooray for trading away the heart and soul of the franchise. Way to go!

BARTENDER!?!?!!!!!!

Best TV theme song ever!

I don’t know how many of y’all would remember this theme song… Shoot, I doubt most of you even remember the show, but Damon Wayans had a TV show about 10 years ago called “Damon” and he was a detective… Yeah. I’m sure it didn’t even last an entire season. But it had the best theme song ever for a TV show ever. And every now and then it pops into my head… I was trying to get my boy to remember it but he didn’t… So I dug and dug and found it online.

So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the theme song to “Damon” as voiced by the lovely and talented Ms. Erykah Badu:

LISTEN: “Damon” theme song

And yes, in case there’s any confusion… the lyrics to that song were: It’s Damon’s show. It’s not your show. It’s Damon’s show.

HA! Now get up off the floor. Damn I love the Internet.