My big fat Greek boobs — well not mine… per se

My friend Angi is a new mother who’s recently returned to work at her oh-so-fabuous job in the front office of an NFL franchise — which she CAN’T EVER QUIT, justin case she was thinking about it!!!! She was so fond of my evil popcorn haiku that she asked me to ghostwrite a haiku for her about breast pumping at work. Not exactly sure why… she’s just super random ;)

 

I have zero first-hand knowlege about breast pumping as I am myself, childless, but I’m willing to give it a go. I have a pretty good imagination. It’ll be kind of like I’m a rapper who grew up in the suburbs writing about how thugged out he is. Feel free to request a haiku of your own. Here goes ;)

Breast milk in the fridge

Everybody knows it’s mine

I feel like a cow

 

Pumping at my desk

Sorry you had to see that

You should learn to knock

How’d I do, Ang? You should print this out and put it up in your office next to your ‘Footprints’ plaque ;)

Either the meanest thing or the funniest thing ever…

So if you were watching football on FOX at all today, there was no escaping the “Hole in the Wall” commercials. This ‘human tetris’ show that has apparently been a hit in tons of other countries is now coming to the U.S. Another reality game show for which there is no real way to prepare, the funniest part of this show appears to be the reactions of the folks when they see what type of hole they’ll have to fit thru. I feel like there’s no way some of these people could fit thru the spaces allotted for them. I mean, shouldn’t they at least have a chance?

I received 4 phone calls today asking if I had seen the preview for the show where there is a puffy woman who has a memorable reaction (Oh CRAP!!!) when she sees that she’ll have to fit into this one particularly awkward, and obviously impossible shape. I found another clip on Youtube where someone taped the commercial so it’s posted below. But I can’t tell if it’s really, really funny or the meanest thing I’ve ever seen. As a puffy girl myself, I feel kinda bad for her. But again, no one forced her to try out. Would I be willing to exploit myself that much for 15 seconds of fame and some prize money? (ahem, ahem… ‘asks the girl who just competed on Last Comic Standing’ — yes I see the irony). Are you gonna/did you watch the show? And if so, what’s your take?

Yeah you’re right. It’s pretty damn funny.

PLAY BALL!!!

OK… so today is the Eagles regular season home opener.

Opponent: St. Louis Rams

Game time: 1pm EST on FOX

This will be the first week of the Happy Eagles/Sad Eagles Chronicles. After each regular season game, I will post an entry with one of the photos below, based on the final score. Don’t be jealous of my personally engraved Eagles dog tags…

eagles_yay_small.gif eagles_boo_small.gif

I hope I never have to use the photo on the right.

Whoever your team is, I hope you’re enjoying the fact that football is back! And if you’re not a football fan and you’re married to or involved with one, I hope you’re enjoying your free time ;)

Happy Sunday,

E

The coolest show

I did a super-cool benefit show last nite in Baltimore for NARAL Pro-Choice Maryland. It was called The Choice Avengers (a superhero-themed event). It was held at the Creative Alliance and there was an awesome group of performers there, none of whom I’d met before. In light of the big choice we have to make this November, it seemed only right to me to do whatever I could to help raise awareness for this organization.

In case you missed Samantha Bee’s Daily Show Clip about choice, here goes:

Hilarious, right? Well I guess not if you’re “on” the right… I think she “hit this one out of the park” (if I never hear that phrase again, it’ll be too soon). But I digress…

So happy I got the opportunity to meet “smart pop musician” Mara Levi.

mara_3.jpg

If you’ve never heard of her she is awesome with a capital “Q!” She does folk music and pop music and she did a bluegrass number that was amazing. She used a ‘loop station’ — I think that’s the name of it — to build up the background harmonies while she was on stage and did the number as a one-woman band. She also beat boxed and looped that as well. It was like Joni Mitchell meets Doug E. Fresh meets a Dixie Chick. I LOVED it. Check her out for sure!!! Continue reading →

She’s your queen to be…

Is it just me or does this McCain-Palin match reek of an arranged marriage? I mean, it’s clear they didn’t know each other. I just picture McCain sitting in his Barker Lounger (you know he has one) after Barack’s speech last week and Karl Rove escorting Sarah Palin into the room a’ la Eddie Murphy and Vanessa Bell Calloway in Coming to America and saying, “Senator McCain… meet your queen. I mean, your VP.”

vanessabell_1.jpg

I’m not gonna get into the politics of how I feel about Republican politics. But suffice it to say that Tina Fey 2.0 is turning out to be quite the interesting character. But really… a one-liner about hockey moms and pit bulls? Guess she saves the good bits for 30 Rock.

Huh?

Update!!!

… Cause I know those e-mails were about to start pouring in ;)

I figured out the Blackberry mystery and just in case there was anyone else out there wondering how to do this, I wanted to share. I just talked to 3 way more technical people who own Blackberrys (or is it Blackberry’s… or Blackberries?) and they didn’t know either so I don’t feel so bad… When typing alpha characters into a phone field all you gotta do is hold the “ALT” key and type the letter you want to enter on the QWERTY keypad. The letters show up and then when you press “Send” it translates to the numbers. Hooray!!!

You’re welcome ;)