My friend Angi is a new mother who’s recently returned to work at her oh-so-fabuous job in the front office of an NFL franchise — which she CAN’T EVER QUIT, justin case she was thinking about it!!!! She was so fond of my evil popcorn haiku that she asked me to ghostwrite a haiku for her about breast pumping at work. Not exactly sure why… she’s just super random ;)


I have zero first-hand knowlege about breast pumping as I am myself, childless, but I’m willing to give it a go. I have a pretty good imagination. It’ll be kind of like I’m a rapper who grew up in the suburbs writing about how thugged out he is. Feel free to request a haiku of your own. Here goes ;)

Breast milk in the fridge

Everybody knows it’s mine

I feel like a cow


Pumping at my desk

Sorry you had to see that

You should learn to knock

How’d I do, Ang? You should print this out and put it up in your office next to your ‘Footprints’ plaque ;)

One thought on “My big fat Greek boobs — well not mine… per se

  1. Angi

    EJ –
    You have no idea how much that made my day. I think I’m going to hang it up on my handmade cardboard sign that I put on my door each day that says “Beware: Lactation In Process” and is accompanied by the annoying sound of my pump, which I liken to a cat being declawed…over and over again.

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