Best Birthday Ever

Well, you guys… my birthday curse seems to have been broken. Cause I just had the best birthday I’ve had in my 21… OK, 25… 34 years on God’s great earth! Just got back from Boston where I attended the 4th Annual Women In Comedy Festival. What an amazing weekend! Funny ladies (and a few guys) from all over the country doing what we all do best. It doesn’t get much better than that!

I was selected as one of the festival’s headliners — along with my good girlfriend Kelly MacFarland, Erin Judge and the fantastic-mazing Wendy Liebman and Carol Leifer. What an honor! On Saturday afternoon the five of us sat on a panel where we talked about great moments, challenges, and our creative processes. I clearly have no delusions of being in the same class as Ms. Leifer and Ms. Liebman, but it was cool to pretend for an hour and a half. I told the panel and attendees how, when I was no more than a month or two into stand-up, I e-mailed Wendy thru her website with a ton of newbie comedian questions. She took the time to e-mail me back and answer each one and even offer words of encouragement. She didn’t have to do that obviously and I know now just how annoying I must have been, but I’ll always heart her for it. In addition to being super hilarious, she’s one of the nicest ladies on the planet — no wonder she’s been so successful!

Lets see… other things that made it the best birthday ever:

1) When I was leaving the panel I got back to my car and there was a police officer writing me a ticket because the meter had expired. He said “This your car?” Well actually it sounded more like “This yaaaaaa caaaaa?” I nodded yes and he told me I was too late. I told him it was my birthday and he said “Oh yeah? Show me your license as proof.” I gave it to him and he ripped up the ticket. Yaaaaaay!

2) Got to hang out with a friend I hadn’t seen in over 10 years, and see some really cool places in Boston — including the neighborhood where Mark Wahlberg grew up. Yeah… I said that.

3) I lost my brand new Droid Razr Saturday nite… and got it back about 10 minutes before I left for the airport on my way back home.

4) Red velvet cheesecake with whipped cream and sprinkles from Cheesecake Factory.

5) Oh… and Carol Leifer and Wendy Liebman said they thought I was funny. I guess that was kinda nice too. #PlayingItCoolWhileScreamingOnTheInside

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE WOMEN IN COMEDY FESTIVAL TO ALL MY LADY COMEDIAN FRIENDS!!! GO, GO, GO NEXT YEAR. I GUARANTEE YOU’LL HAVE AN AMAZING TIME! I’m definitely going back. In fact, I wish I had a time machine so I could travel back and attend the first 3 festivals. Thanks so much to the organizers: Michelle Barbera, Maria Ciampa, Hillary Buckholtz, and Elyse Schuerman, all the other folks behind the scenes, and all the hilarious comics I met and got to work with for the first time. I had a blast! See you guys next year. Same bat time. Same bat place.

Road trips and underground railroads

Just got back from an 11-day road trip where I traveled to north Jersey, northwestern PA, upstate NY, back to Jersey, then back upstate, and finally to the Philly area to watch the Super Bowl with other angry Eagles fans. It was exhausting and kind of a blur, but the highlight of my trip was the show I did at Auburn Public Theater in Auburn, NY. Auburn is a great little town. It’s the kind of place where even the Days Inn is nice (not that I stayed there; I’m just sayin’). The trip in was absolutely beautiful. As I drove thru neighboring Skaneateles, I had to pull over to take photos, it was so pretty:

The theater and its owners, Carey and Angela, were great too.

      

When I got there Carey told me about some of the tourist attractions in town. He mentioned that Harriet Tubman used to live in Auburn and that her former home was a soon-to-be national landmark. I was so bummed I didn’t know that earlier in the day when I was lounging around Skaneateles so I could have taken the full tour. I usually research the places I visit so I don’t miss out on cool stuff like this, but I’d been running so much it slipped my mind for this trip. Thank goodness for Carey! Continue reading →

Me In Your City: Asheville, NC

Went down to super-cute Asheville, NC a few weeks ago with my buddy Jason Weems. OMG, I. LOVE. ASHEVILLE!!! I was working at this great new theatre space down there called The Altamont Theatre, and had the opportunity to check out some of the sites. Didn’t get to see everything I wanted to see, but I’ve got a college show booked there for the spring, so I’m looking forward to more sightseeing then! Did a short Me In Your City video blog about. Wanna watch it? Here it go:

Gallagher’s wet dream

I had a show in Austin, TX a few weeks ago and got caught on the Interstate behind this truck. Notice how there is no grate or anything to hold up the watermelons. Dude was SPEEDING down the highway and I was trying my best to stay in front of him in case something happened and he had to hit the brakes quickly. All I kept thinking was: “There’s gonna be a melon slide and I’m gonna get one caught underneath this rental car and I should have taken out the extra insurance and I bet this is how all of Gallagher’s wet dreams begin…“

I ended up behind him at this toll booth, and after pulling off I was able to get around him. But I took this photo and posted it to Twitter as a #CaptionThis challenge and got some fun replies. Here are a few of them:

Can you think of any more? If so, feel free to leave a comment. And try not to be too sensitive. #SometimesStereotypesAreFunny

Laugh, then scream

Last night I had a show — an AWESOME show — at Grand Valley State University in Allendale, MI. It was my first college show of the school year and theirs as well. Glad it was yesterday, cuase they’ve got Dean Edwards coming in today and I didn’t want to have to follow him. Booker T. Washington, Go ‘head GVSU for booking two brown comics back-to-back to open the school year!!! That doesn’t usually happen until February.

Moving on, I love this poster they did for the event. They had an advanced screening of “Scream 4” scheduled in the same room just after my show so they put both events on the same poster. It looks like the Scream killer is sneaking up on me, doesn’t it? I’m totally putting it in my press kit that I was in Scream 4. And I’m gonna use this poster image to prove it. You didn’t see me? Well maybe you came in late or blinked or something. You know the brown girl always dies first.

Tee hee. Thanx GVSU!

Cucumber, water, purple

So I was sitting on a sofa in the lobby of my hotel yesterday afternoon, and on the table behind me (my back was to it), there were two pitchers of water — one filled with lemons, and one filled with what I just assumed were limes. A couple minutes after I sat down, two teenaged girls walked in and I overheard the following conversation:

GIRL #1: Now what is this one? Lime water?

GIRL #2: No, it’s cucumber water. So yummy. I drink it all the time. It’s the new thing. Try.

GIRL #1: Oh my God. You’re so right. I’m gonna try to make this at home. Could use some salt though…

So first of all… Salt? In your water? Yuck. But secondly, cucumber water is the “new thing?” I mean I’ve seen it in a spa but I didn’t realize people were just drinking it for lunch. Once the girls left I decided to grab a cup and taste it for myself…

Cucumber and water. As advertised.

But I had to Google it to find just how “out of the know” I was. My search returned about a dozen cucumber water recipes. OK… Is that really necessary? I feel like all the necessary ingredients are probably in the name of the drink. Here’s the first recipe I found:

Spa Cucumber Water Recipe

In order for the cucumber to fully release its juice, you need to prepare it the day before your event.

Ingredients:

  • 1 cucumber, sliced and unpeeled + 6-7 cucumber slices for decoration
  • 1 1/2 to 2 liters of water
  • Ice cubes

In a pitcher, mix the water and cucumbers. Then, squeeze the cucumber pieces to release all the juice. Before serving remove the cucumber slices used to flavor the water. Then stir with a wooden spoon, add some ice cubes and 6 or 7 fresh cucumber slices. Enjoy this refreshing drink!

Yeah. Like I said: cucumber, water, purple. And why would you list ice as an ingredient in water? C’mon son. You just put it there so your recipe wouldn’t just be cucumbers and water. But surprise — we can see right thru your plan. Some variations called for a little mint and a squeeze of lemon but from what I can tell, it’s just another case of people pretending to love something because they perceive it to be cool or sophisticated. Which we do all the time in this country. We treat every new superfood or drink craze like a hipster whose favorite underground band just went mainstream. Remember how crazy people went over pomegranates and acai berries a few years ago? “You just now finding out about pomegranates, son? Man I been down with pomegranates since their first album.”

Perhaps I’ve gone a little off course with this one, and hey if I’m wrong and you are really passionate about cucumber water, please e-mail me. I will post your note here on the blog in a non-mocking way and I won’t make any snarky comments about it either. Scout’s honor. #HaHa #YeahRight

OK, gotta hop a plane now. See y’all soon!