Daniel Craig: Devastatingly Handsome(?)

I recently saw our newest Bond described that way in some magazine — (People or GQ maybe?).

And I totally agree with the sentiment. I think Daniel Craig is a hottie — although it took me a while to be sure. In my opinion, his features are such that he’s right on the line between super duper gorgeous and just plain old ‘interesting looking’ — if that makes any sense. In “Munich” I was like ‘eh’ but as 007 “somebody please hand me a funeral home church fan cause it’s getting hot in here”

But devastatingly handsome…?

I think that’s a bit much. Ladies, when is the last time you saw a man so fine you were devastated? I’m gonna go ahead and guess ‘never’. I mean, I’ve known a lot of good-looking men in my day. But not one of them has ever knocked my power out or caused a flood or a famine.

I did date a guy once who made me wanna stop eating while we were together, but it wasn’t devastation. Just the Atkins diet.

I think we get a little excited with our adjectives in this country is all I’m saying…


Damn, I don’t know this song either

So I wasn’t working this past weekend and got a chance to be “normal” ;) and hang with some of my friends. Hooray! On Friday nite, me and my friend Kellz went out to a club. I put on a dress and heels and we got to the club before it was real packed and set up shop on the first floor by the bar.


The music was great. They were playing a lot of old school hip hop and R&B, some Chaka — a little Tribe. We were having a great time. We even spotted an S-Curl and I made Kellz pretend I was taking a picture of her so old boy wouldn’t know we were clowning him…

Big fun.


After about an hour, we went upstairs to the second level. And as we were standing on the outskirts of the dance floor watching folks get their dance on, I slowly began to realize that I didn’t know any of the music the DJ was playing. You know that “Awwwwww, s—! That’s my joint / Woooooo!” sound that happens right after the DJ plays the first few notes of a club banger??? Well I heard it repeatedly. I saw the hands go up in the air. But I didn’t recognize any of the songs.

How the hell did this happen?

I consciously stopped listening to urban contemporary radio stations several years ago — not because I don’t like hip hop — but because I *do.* And what passes for hip hop and R&B on the radio these days sickens me. I prefer to read reviews and forums, find artists that I like and buy/download their music myself. But even so, the ignorance that floods the airwaves has always found a way to somehow seep into my consciousness. Thru commercials or MTV or something… Last Friday however, I literally knew none of the songs that were played in like a 20-minute period.

What are you supposed to do in a situation like that? Should you just throw your hands up in the air when everyone else does and pretend like you like the raggedy-ass ‘music’ that’s playing (as one friend suggested)? Or do you just acknowledge the fact that you’re over it and look for a comfy seat?

I opted for option #2.

Overall I enjoyed myself that nite but I spent the last half hour we were there texting a friend of mine who was being equally lame at another club.

My how times change… Continue reading →

Priority Shift

So I just got back from a great week at the Funnybone in Virginia Beach. I did a little shopping, a little relaxing, worked with great people in a great room, and the check cleared. You can’t ask for much more.

Also while I was down there, I re-evaluated and re-ordered the must-have characteristics I need in a potential mate.

Here’s the background: Thursday nite after the show I went back to the comics’ condo, which is a very neat, very clean garden style unit. But because it’s a garden apartment, the front door opens right to the outside. I put the key in the door and then realized that there was a huge flying/hopping ‘croach’ thingy (wasn’t sure if it was a cricket or a roach) on the door. I totally freaked because I am paralyzed by bugs. Anyone who knows me well already marvels at how I was able to live in that little basement apartment in the hood for 8 years.

Tylenol PM and Benadryl is how. You’re not worried about croaches when you see unicorns…. But I digress.

I literally was so tired and buzzed all I wanted was to crawl in the bed. But I was frozen. I called the headliner who is a friend of mine and was like, “Could you stay on the phone with me until this croach dies?” He humored me for about three minutes. We talked about how if hell was a personal hell customized for each of us what would be in each of ours… And we determined that mine would be full of croaches and other pests, octopus/pi or anything else with tentacles, that scene from the Matrix when they put that tracker thing into Neo’s belly would be playing on an eternal loop … and there would be black olives everywhere … I HATE black olives.

After he wished me well and got off the phone I still couldn’t go in. It wasn’t a matter of just opening and closing the door really quickly… because I didn’t know if it was a cricket or a roach. How fast was it? That’s need-to-know info. Because where it was positioned on the door if I opened the door it was literally going to BE inside… What to do?

So I called my buddy Dawan. He’ll humor me I thought… Plus he’s in LA so its not so late. He talked me thru it. Told me to break off a piece of the crepe myrtle outside and brush it off the door. But just as I pulled the branch, he was like, “Make sure there’s no bugs on the branch.” I threw it and screamed. I hadn’t thought of that…

Eventually he convinced me to pick up the branch and brush the croach off the door. I did it and I exhaled… but then it ran back to the door at lightning speed.

Roach for sure.

Finally after a while I was so delirious, I just held my breath and chanced it. I got in, shut the door behind me and stood still for like 10 seconds to make sure it didn’t make it in. I was safe.

It wasn’t til then that D laughed at me and said how rich we would be if I had been recording the incident. We’d be Youtube stars. He’s a good friend. The best… But it got me to thinking… ‘Croach killer’ was not on my list of must-haves in a man. Stability, trustworthiness, great sense of humor… All those things are great. But no matter how much I love you, we can’t both be standing on the sofa scared of a damn spider… I need to add it to my list and move it towards the top.

So thanks Virginia Beach for the much-needed priority shift, and the new bit ;)

OH YES, it’s ladies nite…


Hey guys, how cool is this?… I was invited to be one of the ‘celebrity guests’ at the Washington Natioals’ next Ladies Night Event! It’s gonna be on August 14 on the roof of the New Nats stadium — which is like 2 miles from my house! I haven’t been there yet, but I hear its gorgeous. We’ll get great seats in the swanky Scoreboard Pavilion and they’re playing the Mets. What self-respecting Jersey girl wouldn’t be excited about that?

The first 1,000 ladies to buy tickets will be able to attend the pregame happy-hour where there will be food, drinks, a DJ, ME!!!!, all kinds of demos and giveaways — at previous events there have been manis and pedis, makeup demos, etc. So if you’re in D.C. and you’re a lady — or want to attend an event where there will hundreds of ladies ;) please come on out. Should be loads of fun. Hooray!!!

Maronzio Vance is my hero

OK, so I was cruising the net blog-jacking today. But it had to be done. I am not sorry ;)

Fellow comedian Maronzio Vance is in the midst of a vlog war with none other than P. Diddy. He posted this video last week about how Puffy has the ‘reverse Midas touch’ if you will on his artists… He is saying everything any true 90’s hip hop and R&B fan has been thinking for the last two decades. Please stop what you’re doing and watch this now:

Then Puffy, Diddy, Sean John, whatever the hell… posted this reply — which is chock full of bitchassness. Oh Diddy, how did you let a comic bait you?

I’m so mad I’m just seeing this… I need to amend my previous entry. This should be at the top of the list of things that made me smile today ;) Please check out Maronzio’s Myspace page and let him know how freaking hilarious he is. I heart him for this. Can’t wait to see his re-response! Stay tuned…

T Minus 2 Weeks to Eagles training camp


Camp begins two weeks from today.

As always I am hopeful, but I wouldn’t be a true Philly fan if I didn’t express at least a little skepticism. Planning to trip up on the 27th to catch a practice. Want to see Asante in that defense so I know how excited to get (or not to get) about the upcoming season. It’s crazy how you can have such strong feelings against a player when he’s on a rival team (Screw Asante Samuel!!!), but be so excited once he’s traded to your squad (Yo, you hear we picked up Asante Samuel???). At least we don’t have to worry about him intercepting Donovan or A.J. this season.

So excited! THIS year IS next year!!! Maybe ;)