So I’m sitting at an airport gate wearing a Montreal Canadiens t-shirt because I ran out of clothes on the road, and it was $7 at Walmart. Well, they’re apparently in the Stanley Cup conference finals this year and the guy sitting next to me is a huge Canadiens fan. He saw my shirt and started yapping to me about the team and last night’s game… And instead of just telling him I know nothing about the team or the sport, I for some reason, try to get thru the conversation without getting found out. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.

“Can you believe that OT goal last nite?” he asked me. And because I didn’t know whether the goal he was talking about was good or bad for “our” team I just shook my head and replied, “Psssshhh.”
If I spoke to someone wearing Eagles swag and they told me it didn’t mean anything to them, I’d probably go on a rant about how they could have bought almost any other t-shirt besides that one and how you shouldn’t represent for something if you don’t believe it… I eventually just put on my headphones and closed my eyes to end the convo. But the point here is that I’m a hypocrite and a poser. I know and accept it.


Take that, Jack Sparrow!


On my last nite in LA , I went to the shooting range with a friend. I don’t think I’d ever own a gun — I don’t even like loading them. But shooting (AT PAPER TARGETS) in a controlled environment is fun.

There I said it.

wpid-IMG_20140130_210845082.jpg  wpid-IMG_20140131_093621.jpg

I’m by no means a good shot, but I surprised myself with this target. My first shot was the one to the skull cap. Even my friend was impressed. But besides the one to the cheek and the hand, I missed the target completely with the rest of the clip, and most of the next. Sidebar: why is Johnny Depp holding people up at gunpoint? He has taken this pirate thing a bit too far. Hashtag: MethodActing.



Yup. This is me attempting to do the Heisman pose (bum knees and all) on set with ex-NFL player and Heisman Trophy-winner, Ricky Williams. Y’all know I’m a huge football fan, but my interest in this man goes far beyond football. He’s one of the most intriguing and frustrating sports figures of my generation. This moment was so surreal.

He was a guest on our show about mental illness and the stigma that surrounds it in the black community. He discussed how he came to seek treatment/medication for social anxiety disorder, the reaction from his teammates and that it is possible to live a happy and fulfilling life after being diagnosed with a mental illness. He was clear and clean, articulate, introspective. For those of you whose last memory of him is from ESPN’s “30 for 30: Run Ricky Run,” I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. You’re going to see a completely different Ricky on this show.

But he’s not the only moving discussion in this episode. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be inspired. I love what we do on our show. I know you will, too.

The band’s back together


The band’s back together!

I just got back from Los Angeles after shooting the next cycle of our talk show, “Exhale.” We’ve got a new studio, a new set and tons of amazing guests this coming season. I can’t wait for you all to check out our new digs and see what we’ve been up to! I’ll keep you updated as to the premiere date. I hope you’ll tune in!

Same kind of ugly


So I’m in Detroit Metro Airport standing next to this sign in the US Airways Preferred Access ticketing line, when a not-black woman who was also checking in walks up behind me and taps me on my shoulder. “Your line is over there ma’am. This one is for elite.”

What in the ENTIRE hell?


In the dream sequence that played in my head, I bitch-slapped that lady and then stood over her like I was Ali and she was Sonny Liston. In real life, I gave her the big eyes/forehead crinkle combo and said, “I am flying first-class, thank you,” and then gave her my back. But what I what I was feeling, what I would have said if I’d had half a second longer to think about it is, “How f—ing dare you!”


How dare you look at me and just assume I’m not entitled to be exactly where I am! How dare you not even consider the possibility that in this scenario we could be equals?


I’ve been called “nigger.” And “nigger bitch.” I’ve been told by a friend that I was not welcome in her parents’ home. I’ve experienced in-your-face racism. But what happened to me today is no less racist. The immediate assumption that I didn’t belong — it’s the same kind of ugly.

When I got to the counter the agent thanked me (loud enough for her to hear) for my loyalty. I glanced over my shoulder at her and threw all the shade I could muster.

She couldn’t have cared less.

And I guess that’s all there is to say.

I ain’t got no dimes


LAUNDROMAT GUY: You need to buy a card from that machine to use our washers. It only takes $5 bills.

ME: But I looked you up online and since you’re called “Mary’s Coin Laundry I went to the bank across the street with my two $5 bills and got a roll of quarters.

LG: Yeah Mary’s Coin Laundry is just the name.

ME: But you get how it’s misleading?

LG: Yeah I guess.

ME: Well can you change this roll of quarters for two fives?

LG: I don’t think I can.

ME: You don’t think…?

The title of this blog is a callback to one of my old bits. Also, I quit human beings.

5 tips for dressing for your first NFL game

So you’re going to your first NFL game, but you don’t know much anything about football. Don’t despair; you’ve come to the right place! I may not be able to fashion you (pun always intended) into a football expert in one blog post, but I can definitely help you look the part. As a fanatical football fan who’s been to countless games, I’m happy to share my essential game-day style rules with you. Some will prevent you from having beer and other not-so-readily-identifiable liquids thrown on you, while others will protect you from the ire of serious lady football fans — and trust me, those things are equally uncomfortable.

1. Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize

Forget you’ve ever heard this mantra. This is not Chotchkie’s and you do not need 37 pieces of flair. If you wanna rock some team apparel, a t-shirt, sweatshirt or jersey is sufficient. And a cap or a hat is fine. Too many items at once and you’ll look like you’re at your first rodeo. Now don’t get me wrong, there will be folks there rocking the full-on mushroom shirt/belt/jacket combo, but most of them are just trying to get on TV. Trust, there are more respectable ways to get your 15 minutes of fame (think: sex tape).

This is a “don’t” photo, just in case you weren’t clear.

2. Avoid the opposing team’s colors

Unless you have some really generous friends (that you’d like to introduce me to), you likely dropped $100 or more on a ticket. And since you’re not that into football yet, it’s understandable if you don’t want to shell out money to outfit yourself in team gear. Just be sure to wear something in the color(s) of the team you’re going to support. Do not, under any circumstances, rock any of the colors of the opposing team. Anywhere on your body. Like, for real. I don’t care if it’s 10 degrees out and your only winter coat is purple — if “your team” is playing the Baltimore Ravens, you better borrow an acceptable coat or embrace your impending pneumonia.

3. No pink jerseys

Just trust me on this one. I know a portion of the proceeds from their sale goes to funding important medical research, so I am in no way suggesting that you not support this cause. What I am suggesting is that you do so by writing Komen a check.

4. Wear pants 

You may think this is a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how many women show up to football games in skirts. Never do this. It makes you look desperate and shallow and oblivious to your surroundings, and it’s the embodiment of everything that chauvinistic male sports fans think about us ladies. I’m normally not a proponent of victim blaming, but if you show up to a stadium in a minidress and get bodied by an angry lady football fan… well, then.


5. Wear flat shoes

I know I’ve already told you ‘no pink’ and to tone down the accessories, but I swear I’m not trying to kill your vibe. I understand the desire to turn up your look with a cute shoe or boot (especially if you’re going to the game with your boo-thang), but here are a few reasons why you shouldn’t: First, you’ll likely have to walk a ways from parking or public transportation to the stadium grounds. Next, stadium escalators are for ballers. Unless your seats are on the 100 or club level, you’ll be walking up and down the ramps with thousands of other folks (read: slowly) and stadium steps can be tough to navigate in heels. And lastly, seats in pro-football stadium are just suggestions. Despite how much they paid for them, most folks are gonna stand thru the whole game which means you’ll have to stand too if you want to see any of the action. You still wanna wear heels? Didn’t think so. You’re welcome.

About EJ:

When I was a little girl, my dad signed me up to play a different sport every season. When he watched sports on television, he made me sit and watch with him. “When you grow up,” he’d say, “knowing about sports is going to help you in business and with boys.” “You just wish I was a boy!” I’d scream. In my head. Fast forward a couple decades, and though it hasn’t helped me snag a boy for forever (yet), what began as reluctant sports camp attendance and pop quizzes on game rules and athletes grew into a genuine love for sports. When I hear women complain that their men ignore them during football, basketball or baseball seasons, I always tell them that if they gave it a chance they’d probably learn to enjoy it too (note: if your man ignores you for an entire football, basketball or baseball season, you’re broken up). I don’t know everything about every sport, but I’m happy to share some of the knowledge I’ve acquired with other women who are sport-curious. Thanks for reading!