This past weekend, while on stage, the other comic I was working with got into it with an audience member and then asked her how old she was. She answered, and then his reply was, “I have underwear older than you.” Huh? I’ve had older folks say that very same thing to me and I’ve never understood how it demonstrates superiority. The fact that you wear 33 year-old drawls (yes, drawls) demonstrates nothing except for the fact that you’re nasty as all hell.
So… note to older folks everywhere: If you’re having a debate or an argument and the best comeback you can muster is the age of your underwear, you lose.
Ummm, can someone please explain to me why I got an AARP card in the mail?
No seriously, is this some kind of joke?
“Make the most of life after 50?” Yeah, I’ll be sure to do that. In 20 years.
Boo hiss. I’m so confused.
Did someone steal my identity? Who thinks I’m 50?Â Are they trying to tell me I need to retire? I need a drink.
So I wasn’t working this past weekend and got a chance to be “normal” ;) and hang with some of my friends. Hooray! On Friday nite, me and my friend Kellz went out to a club. I put on a dress and heels and we got to the club before it was real packed and set up shop on the first floor by the bar.
The music was great. They were playing a lot of old school hip hop and R&B, some Chaka — a little Tribe. We were having a great time. We even spotted an S-Curl and I made Kellz pretend I was taking a picture of her so old boy wouldn’t know we were clowning him…
After about an hour, we went upstairs to the second level. And as we were standing on the outskirts of the dance floor watching folks get their dance on, I slowly began to realize that I didn’t know any of the music the DJ was playing. You know that “Awwwwww, s—! That’s my joint / Woooooo!” sound that happens right after the DJ plays the first few notes of a club banger??? Well I heard it repeatedly. I saw the hands go up in the air. But I didn’t recognize any of the songs.
How the hell did this happen?
I consciously stopped listening to urban contemporary radio stations several years ago — not because I don’t like hip hop — but because I *do.* And what passes for hip hop and R&B on the radio these days sickens me. I prefer to read reviews and forums, find artists that I like and buy/download their music myself. But even so, the ignorance that floods the airwaves has always found a way to somehow seep into my consciousness. Thru commercials or MTV or something… Last Friday however, I literally knew none of the songs that were played in like a 20-minute period.
What are you supposed to do in a situation like that? Should you just throw your hands up in the air when everyone else does and pretend like you like the raggedy-ass ‘music’ that’s playing (as one friend suggested)? Or do you just acknowledge the fact that you’re over it and look for a comfy seat?
I opted for option #2.
Overall I enjoyed myself that nite but I spent the last half hour we were there texting a friend of mine who was being equally lame at another club.
My how times change… Continue reading →