ROFLMAO

 

Me perfoming last year at Laughter in the Park

Me perfoming last year at Laughter in the Park

I’ll be performing again in Central Park on July 3 with Laughter in the Park. It was super fun last year and the booker, Suzette, gets really great comics to come out. When she confirmed my date this week, she e-mailed me this photo from my performance last year. It literally made my day. He is rolling on the floor (ground) laughing his ass off. Literally.

This is why I do what I do.

Performances are held in Central Park, Washington Square Park and Brooklyn Bridge Park. Check out the full summer schedule here!

Sit-ins and shut up

Congressional Democrats, led by civil rights icon John Lewis (D-GA), staged a sit-in Wednesday on the House floor to try to force House Republicans to put several gun control measures to vote. And I applaud Rep. Lewis for applying the tactics he honed during the 1960’s to this situation and House Dems for holding the floor (#hoflor). If 90% of Americans are for background checks, then why are nearly all House Republicans against it (that question is obviously rhetorical)? They can’t all represent the remaining 10% of Americans. The Dems definitely wanted the bills to pass, but equally important, was their desire to have get their Republican colleagues on record against safety measures like these in the wake of the Orlando attack. The fact that the protest happened the day before summer break means they can’t continue it until over a week from now, at which point their attempts to retake the floor will most assuredly be met with more resistance, and may cause them to appear more petulant than principled. It was encouraging, however, to see a portion of this Do Nothing Congress think outside the box to at least try and do something meaningful—even if it was unsuccessful in the short term. It got voters to contact their representatives and brought even more attention to the issue. And hopefully it was the first small step towards universal background checks.

Now as for that “We Shall Overcome” remix posted above?

Un uh.

That’s when the sit-in jumped the shark. I feel like we all know whose idea that was, and it was a gross misappropriation of that anthem. “We shall pass a bill someday?” Word? “We shall overcome hate?” That wasn’t even the lyric during the height of the civil rights movement. How about: “We shall overcome dependence upon lobbying dollars by implementing public campaign financing someday” or “We shall neutralize the NRA someday…”

Le sigh. I respect the effort, if not the soundtrack.

I got into a discussion on Facebook with someone who questioned the 90% of Americans for background checks (including NRA members and other gun owners) figure, so I posted the articles listed below for reference. Because I have no desire to debate facts. The “No Fly, No Buy” bill definitely has problems, but I think we can all agree as to the spirit of the bill. If Republican lawmakers were behind background checks, but opposed that bill based on absence of due process, etc. I could totally understand that. But to be against any and all common sense gun control measures, and be unwilling to work with their colleagues to try and improve upon it and/or find any common ground? To quote the great philosopher, Alanis Morrissette: “I see right through you/I know right through you.”

Dead to me

Tally Ho Theatre, Leesburg, VA

Tally Ho Theatre, Leesburg, VA

I had a show last Thursday in Leesburg, VA at this cute little theater called Tally Ho. I didn’t think I knew anyone in Leesburg, but last nite I got a text from my cousin Graig, yelling at me for not letting he and his wife, Michelle, know I was in town. I totally forgot they lived there, and they literally live down the street from the venue. Oops? Graig and I are first cousins and we’re close; we’re the same age. And they found out I was there because they saw the ad for the show in the county newspaper they got on Monday—four days after the show.

But I digress.

tallyho

Graig showed their four-year-old son my photo in the paper, and he asked, “Is she dead?” Because dead people’s photos go in the paper—duh. And Michelle told him:

“She is to us.”

Which is why I love her.

#Family
#GrudgeHolders
#SorryIsAllThatICanSay

Photo by Dominic Rivera

Roland with the homies

20160615_080245Yes, I am proud of that title. Yes, I realize how corny I am.

Last Wednesday, I was a guest on TV One’s NewsOne Now with Roland Martin. Each week he has on a panel of comics on for his Wild’n Out Wednesday segment. There were just two of us on the panel—me and the super funny, Skiba. We were scheduled to talk about some funny news stories, but we wound up just clowning each other for the whole segment. I explained to the guys why they couldn’t call me “puffy.” And Skiba tried to assassinate Roland with a cigar. It didn’t air live because there was breaking news, so I’m thinking it may air tomorrow morning; I haven’t heard anything yet, though. The show airs weekdays at 7am on TV One, so check it out if you can!

Me and Skiba

Me and Skiba

Me and Roland

Me and Roland

Me and the peacock. Ding, ding, ding.

Me and the peacock.
Ding, ding, ding.

I Blame Hillary: An Exercise in Hate

I blame Hillary Clinton
Who ran the State Department
That issued a work visa to Steven Adams
Who was drafted by OKC, and subsequently (three years later) forced Draymond Green to kick him in the balls by calling him a “quick little monkey.”
Had he been denied that visa, the altercation would never have occurred, and Draymond would have had another flagrant in his back pocket for when he punched Lebron in his balls.
He wouldn’t have been suspended..
The Warriors would have closed out in Game 5.
And everyone would hate Lebron this morning as much as I do.

I’m still with her, but this is clearly her fault.

 

Roots Rock Run: My first 5k

My very first bib number!

My very first bib number!

This past Saturday I ran my very first 5k—the Roots Rock Run in Philadelphia. I did it with my sistren from GirlTrek, an amazing black-women’s wellness organization I joined a few months ago. My goals were 1) to run more than half of the race and 2) not to come in last. I succeeded at both! Who knew 171st place could feel so good? I ran at an 11-minute/mile pace and finished in 34:57, which I think is pretty good for a newbie. And I really enjoyed myself; I think I get why people enjoy racing. I wasn’t exhausted afterwards because I’ve been walking and jogging five times a week for the past couple months. I was super proud of me!

Oooh and also, because it was hosted by The Roots, I got to run with behind, meet, and selfie with Black Thought—my forever crush and one of the greatest emcees in the game. I’d always imagined I’d be slightly less sweaty during our first meeting, but reality rarely lives up to expectations.

Me with Black Thought. #Swoon

Me with Black Thought. #Swoon

1950: When America Was Great

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Last night, while my cousin and I were watching “Roots” with my aunt, she explained to us how sharecropping was nothing more than slavery lite. She, my dad and their 12 other sisters and brothers were raised on a plantation in Omaha, Georgia, where my grandfather worked as a sharecropper. They farmed cotton and peanuts, and she told us how every season, after the crop was sold and it came time for my grandparents to “settle up” with the landlord for all the provisions they used throughout the year, they’d always be in debt. Always owe money for the work they did, because he owned the plantation store, set the prices and kept the books.

Then she showed us this bill of sale from 1950, where their landlord took every single thing they owned, in order to settle their debt. They had no crops, no cows, no mules and no hogs, which left them completely dependent upon him the following year. And when the next crop didn’t bring in enough to cover all those new expenses (because, somehow, it never did), he tacked on that debt to the next season, and the next…

This was 1950. Slavery had been outlawed nearly 100 years earlier, but my grandparents were no less tethered to that plantation than their great-grandparents..

So when folks ask, “Why can’t black people just…?”

This is why. It’s why we’re distrustful, why the achievement gap, why the wealth divide, why I wish a ************ would come at me with that, “Slavery ended 150 years ago; why don’t you just get over it?” Winning in life when you had a 330-year head start, is no achievement. But winning in spite of this is a huge source of pride for me. Ten of my grandparents’ fourteen children graduated college. They went on to own homes, raise healthy families, have great careers, run their own businesses. Imagine what they, and countless others, could have achieved if they playing field had been equal from the start—if it had ever been equal.