Dead to me

Tally Ho Theatre, Leesburg, VA

Tally Ho Theatre, Leesburg, VA

I had a show last Thursday in Leesburg, VA at this cute little theater called Tally Ho. I didn’t think I knew anyone in Leesburg, but last nite I got a text from my cousin Graig, yelling at me for not letting he and his wife, Michelle, know I was in town. I totally forgot they lived there, and they literally live down the street from the venue. Oops? Graig and I are first cousins and we’re close; we’re the same age. And they found out I was there because they saw the ad for the show in the county newspaper they got on Monday—four days after the show.

But I digress.


Graig showed their four-year-old son my photo in the paper, and he asked, “Is she dead?” Because dead people’s photos go in the paper—duh. And Michelle told him:

“She is to us.”

Which is why I love her.


Photo by Dominic Rivera



I’m back in the DC Metro area (McLean, VA to be exact) to do a corporate event tomorrow afternoon. And as I was headed towards my hotel, I realized I was driving right past the old Best Western Westpark Hotel building, which used to house Wiseacres Comedy Club. I don’t know how long it’s been empty; I haven’t been out this way in at least 6-7 years. But when I first started out in comedy, I was there every single Wednesday nite. Man. The open mics in that dark, dingy room are where I met some of my very favorite people. I learned how to write and workshop a joke there, learned how to be a good citizen of the comedy community. I was grateful for my 5 minutes on stage in that room, even when I went up 20th. And I never wanted to go home after those shows. Dinner and drinks after the mic? Absolutely. Work tomorrow? Who cares? That little dungeon will hold a place in my heart forever.

So much debauchery

So much debauchery went down in here

Rob, Randy, Ryan, Jett, Diesel, Herbie, Dawan, Tim, Chris, Jimmy… I miss those days.

Those were great days.

Tonite at the Arlington Drafthouse: Come and get it!!!

HEY FOLKS!!! Tonite I’ll be headlining the Arlington (VA) Cinema ‘N Drafthouse. If you’re in the area and you’ve never been, it’s a fantastic venue. You should definitely go. Tonite. Because… well I think you know. And hey if you can’t make it out, and you have some dirt on a close friend, you can still blackmail he/she into buying a ticket. It would be much appreciated! Also on the show is my good buddy, the very funny Mr. Jason Weems. It’s gonna be big fun. But you gotta be in it to win it!


Anyway, get your tickets now OR ELSE… you’ll have to get them at the door and no one wants to do that, right?

Arlington Cinema ‘N Drafthouse
2903 Columbia Pike, Arlington VA

(703) 486-2345
Ticket info:

The ultimate reward a.k.a. my Daddy loves his yard

My dad recently won theYard of the Month award from the city of Hampton, VA. They gave him a sign he gets to keep all month and everything. Plus as a monthly winner, he’s now in the running for Yard of the Year!


My dad has won numerous Man of the Year awards, garnered accolades on his job, and for his community service, but anyone that knows my dad knows that YOTM is pretty much the best compliment anyone could give him. Because he is a bit obsessed with his yard. He loves flowers so much my mom and I would swear he was gonna dig up the grass to make room for more. We used to joke that he would spend his very last dime on flowers and seeds and landscape beautification.

Admittedly, in the grand scheme of vices that’s not a bad one to have. But still…

He has chronic problems with his back so there were years when we lived in Jersey when he couldn’t mow the lawn himself so he’d hire kids in the neighborhood or his friends’ children to do it for him. But he always had a very specific pattern he wanted the grass cut in — alternating diagonals so you could see the color differentiation in the rows — and you BET NOT mess it up!!! My dad was in sales so when he was in town he worked from a home office that overlooked the front yard. And bad back and all I have — on numerous occasions — seen him bound down two flights of stairs to confront postal workers who cut across the lawn to deliver the mail.

They only ever did it once. Hahaha.

Continue reading →

Sit and spin, then curl up and dye

There was this adorable little laundromat/nightclub/restaurant I used to love in Seattle called “Sit ‘N Spin” It was just super cute and I really appreciated the creativity that went into successfully combining all those businesses into one — but I especially loved the name. I thought it was funky and edgy and just oh-so perfect! I heard it closed a couple years ago. Bummer :-(


I bring that up because the photo above is of a salon in Norfolk, VA right near the base where my mom works. And she and I both think that “Curl Up and Dye” is THE most adorable name for a hair salon. No really… I wish I had thought of that. Though I’m not sure what difference it would have made since I don’t own a hair salon.

But I digress.

I’m here in Appleton, Wisconsin now and yesterday I went into a liquor store that is also a butchery/fish market. Not quite as charming a concept as The Sit ‘N Spin, but hey… what is? Anyway, that’s all for now. I’m trying to get some work done here but it’s not going too well. Maybe I should shut off the TV and the iTunes and get off Facebook…

Or maybe not.

Way too much

12.jpg 2.jpg

Why? Why? Why?

This house is located in Hampton, VA. Not far from where my parents live. Every year these people “decorate” their house with every Christmas trinket ever made. Barbie dolls, blow up glow in the dark Grinches… and then people from miles and miles around come with their families to see the house during the holidays. They give out Christmas trivia leaflets for people to fill out while they’re visiting. It’s just way too much. These photos don’t even do it any justice.

I’m sure the people who own this house would say they do this because it makes them happy to make so many other people happy. And hey, it makes me happy to make fun of people who think that doing this to their home makes other people happy. So I guess… in the end, everyone’s happy.