When you sign up for Tinder because your girl tells you it isn’t just a hook-up site anymore, but this is your first… correspondence.
This can’t be life.
So, you’re gonna blatantly use photos of Lenny Kravitz on your online dating profile? Alright, I’ll play along. I spent half the morning messaging this guy back. Even changed my dating profile pic to Lisa Bonet without explanation.
I hear that all the time? Are you serious, dude?!???
Or are you a comic too, posting on your blog about all the dumb women who fall for your fake profile? Cause if you seriously think you’re gonna find women in America (AMERICAN WOMAN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD) who don’t recognize this sexy piece of caramel on first sight, you are supremely buggin’. This dude didn’t even remove the watermark from the website he stole one of the photos from. He had to be kidding, right? I talked about this on Facebook and a few friends asked, “what if it really is Lenny?” Which… whatever. Plus, I know that the real Lenny and I would be more than a 20% match; I have it on good authority that we are soul mates.
I have a girlfriend who was real-life “catfished” by a dude she thought she might really like, using photos of MLB star, Matt Kemp. Not being a sports fan, she had no idea until another friend broke the news to her. ‘Twas a sad day. You would think these dishonest losers could just find a hot guy who wasn’t an international superstar or professional athlete to pass themselves off as. Exhale. Idiots. I promised myself that I’d try the online dating thing again in 2015, but I’m admittedly only giving it half of a half-hearted effort. And thus far, my online dating adventures have been good for nothing but jokes. Maybe it gets better. Maybe it just gets funnier.
I hope you’ll stay tuned.