A bonus b-day gift

That's me in the corner... That's me in the spotlight ;)

That's me in the corner... That's me in the spotlight... Sing along, y'all ;)

In addition to the $31 check from my mom and two days worth of flu-like symptoms, I got another bonus b-day treat courtesy of the folks at the WaPo Express. They picked up my birthday blog in the March 25th edition of Blog Log.

Pretty cool. I guess people do read this thing ;) Tee hee ;)

Thanks for letting me know about this Leon!

Why my mom is awesome and also it’s my birthday

People often ask me where I get my sense of humor — if my parents are funny, what kind of household I grew up in… Below is the card and present my mom sent me for my birthday. And I’m gonna let you be the judge:

Notice her 'revisions'

Notice her 'revisions'

She did not bother to buy a “from us” card. Not Linda Carol. She made one. And that is awesome! I’m gonna excuse the fact that her ‘editing’ resulted in some bad grammar (where we am) because it is hilarious ;)

I already told y'all my middle name is Rashida, so no need to comment on that.

I already told y'all my middle name is Rashida, so no need to comment on that.

This part isn’t actually that funny. It’s kind of become a little tradition of ours. She sent me a check for 31 dollars because I am turning 31. Last year she sent me 30 roses… you get the picture. My mom’s hilarious. Even when she doesn’t mean to be.

Love you Mommy. Thanks for making me! Oh yeah, and Daddy too ;)

No, I spilled your soda a.k.a. Rich people can kick rocks

You <i><b>bet</i></b> u o me...

Yeah, you bet u o me...

Someone please explain this to me…

I’m watching the news right now and there’s a story about JP Morgan Chase spending $138 million to buy two new corporate jets and a luxury airport hangar, after they asked for and received $25 billion in TARP bailout money. And their argument is that “no TARP money was used to fund the purchases.”

Are they serious?

Anyone who has ever had to borrow money from someone else knows that’s an UNACCEPTABLE argument. In fact I’ve learned (the hard way) that when you owe people money, they don’t want to hear about anything interesting you’ve done in your life until after you pay them back. The “It’s not your money” excuse never works.

Hypothetically speaking, it’s kinda like when you’re at a football game at FedEx Field and your homeboy gives you money to buy each of you a soda at the snack bar, and you spill one of them as you trip up the steps to the 400 section on the way back to your seat — cause you had to brace your fall, right — and you tell him that the soda that you wasted was his.

No for real it was, Steve. I said as soon as I bought it, “This soda on the right is mine. And Steve’s is the one on the left. Yeah I know you paid for it, but look… I skwaped my hand.” But he’s not trying to hear you.

Hypothetically.

I don’t understand rich people and this whole something-for-nothing mentality where they ask for help but think they should be able to operate business as usual and not have to sacrifice anything. That is not how life works. At least not for the rest of us. I’m sure what comes next is faux outrage over the expenditures and no actual accountability. Pardon me if I change the channel, ’cause I’ve seen this episode already. All the news does is make me angry. I need to think of something less depressing — like my love life.

Oh wait…

Sigh.

You are my son dun, my only dun son…

p3191345

When I walked by this truck this afternoon, I began laughing so hard I couldn’t stop. And all my hip hop fans out there know why. I’m from New Jersey and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told people that and their response has been some variation of the phrase “Oh yeah, dun son” or “You from Jersey, son dun.” Madness. In case you are unfamiliar with this phrase/greeting, I’ve included a definition from one of our generation’s most unimpeachable resources, the Urban Dictionary:

1. dun son

Originally rooted from the word “dun”, meaning “son”, dun son is an extension of it’s root. Usually in reference to entering or exiting, never used during conversation. A Greeting.

“Yo whas da deal dun son?” or “Yo I’ma holla at you lata dun son”

HA! A little off subject but also hilarious to me, I heard Rick Ross on the Rickey Smiley Morning Show maybe last month or earlier this month and he called 50 Cent his “son.” They are/were beefing over something utterly ridiculous I’m sure, who can keep up?… Listen to the whole clip for completely ignorant hilarity or FF to the 1:30 mark to get right to it.

Alright, so I don’t have the time to go into a complete explanation of the manifold meanings of dun, son, dun son, etc., but if you feel as if you need more background information on any of these “words” orĀ  just a general overview of Hip-Hop-bonics in general, please feel free to visit any of these free resources:

The Dunn Language Wikipedia Page (explains the origin of “Dun Language”)
Urban Dictionary
This classic track from the late, great Big L (FF to the 2:05 mark for “son” reference ;):

You’re welcome.

The Irish American Fraud and how I lost faith in the TV news media

I was watching the “Today” Show yesterday and Meredith Vieira was broadcasting live from Ireland. And she began her piece by saying that “some 35 million Americans claim Irish heritage, and that is very impressive, given the fact that here in Ireland there are only 4 million people.”

And I dunno, maybe I’m just overanalyzing, as I tend to do — but it sounded so conspiratorial?… “35 million Americans claim Irish heritage” … I swear at the end of the sentence I halfway expected her to be raising one of her eyebrows and giving one of those “we’ll see about that” nods to the camera.

Exhale… Maybe it’s because I grew up as a mini news junkie who had complete faith in the integrity of the news media, but as an adult saw firsthand how badly the news can be manipulated and how non-news is touted as the real thing that I’m completely cynical and suspicious of everything. Honestly, the Meredith Vieira thing was literally something that made me chuckle — the idea of people ‘passing for Irish.’ ;) Hahaha! As a comic I read a lot into things that aren’t there looking for the funny, but something about it jogged a whole bunch of memories I haven’t thought about in years like:

I was still working at CNN Washington during the 2000 election season. And in addition to awaiting Supreme Court decisions, covering the daily protests and camping out in the freezing cold to get a glimpse of the Cuban grandmas and find out whether Elian was gonna have to go back home, it was CNN’s 20th anniversary. And each bureau was commissioned to do a retrospective of the biggest news stories their organization covered over the years. I was on the research team so I spent my days pulling tape of all kinds of stuff — Bernie Shaw in Iraq, the Clinton scandal(s), etc. And I remember one day in the editing booth the producer refused to use some tape I pulled on the Million Man March because he was Jewish and was offended by Farrakhan’s anti-semetic views. There was some back and forth between the folks in the room about how despite his political views the March was a huge story, but the producer wouldn’t budge. And I remember thinking, “Really? What does and doesn’t make it onto the air can be decided by one spoiled producer who wants to huff and puff because Louis Farrakhan hurt his feelings?” And this is supposed to be NEWS?!?

In the end, the Million Man March did make the piece but without a single image of Louis Farrakhan, which if you were just watching it might not have stood out to you. But knowing the background, that has always stayed with me. I respect CNN as a pioneer in the cable news field. But ever since I left there, I’ve had a sour taste in my mouth. I’m still a news hound but I view it in a completely different light. I don’t watch CNN at all. I watch MSNBC almost exclusively, which at first may seem completely contradictory to everything I’ve just complained about. But the way I see it, if all news is corrupt and biased then why not just choose the network with the personalities I enjoy the most. I watch Joe Scarborough and Mika every morning. And as a comic (and huge sports fan) how can I not choose Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, and Rachel Maddow over whoever-the-hell-else is on the other networks? ;)

And don’t even get me started on newspapers…

Exhale… Please pardon my early morning rant.

Redskins Inferiority Complex

Thanks to Kenny for spotting this license plate on his way to work this morning and sending it over. Even though I’m a little sore at my team’s front office, I gotta defend them against these delusional Redskins fans. Y’all some haters ;)
No they don't! Well maybe we will... but that is yet to be seen, so stop being a hater.

No they don't! Well maybe we will... but that has yet to be determined, so stop being a hater.

“I want the gold” a.k.a. Happy St. Patty’s Day

It’s been around for years so most of you have probably seen this already (nearly 10 million YouTube hits). But if you haven’t I hope you… enjoyed it???… Not sure if ‘enjoy’ is the proper word, but I digress… A friend of mine who’s FROM Alabama sent this to me last year and thenĀ proceeded to call me damn near everyday to ask me if I saw the leprechaun. HA! I then proceeded to send it to all my friends. And then one dayĀ out of the blue my friend Dana who is an artist (I mean, you’d have to be to create such a masterpiece, wouldn’t ya? ;) sent me an e-mail with this attachment:

dana_leprechaun

I remember I almost choked to death on nothing.

Exhale… I’m pretty sure that as a proud Black woman, this should embarrass me, butĀ the comedianĀ in meĀ made me post it ;) That, and the fact that it’s St. Patty’s Day AND I recently bought the t-shirt belowĀ from Lookatmeshirts.com, which is a t-shirt site run by comic Josh Sneed and his designer friend. This site is also where I got the Randy Watson tee.

quarterly boob shot

Quarterly boob shot -- Enjoy, next one won't be 'til June ;)

What can I say? I’m a sucker for a funny t-shirt ;) Happy St. Patty’s Day!!!