Squatters and Inheritance Tours

So I haven’t had much (well, nothing actually) to say about my tenant/current living situation on the blog, but it was a hot, steamy mess and I’m going to have MUCH more to say about it in the near future. Stay tuned for my upcoming video piece entitled “Squatting on My Dreams.” It’s going to be epic. In the meantime, check out the video below:

Why my mom is awesome and also it’s my birthday

People often ask me where I get my sense of humor — if my parents are funny, what kind of household I grew up in… Below is the card and present my mom sent me for my birthday. And I’m gonna let you be the judge:

Notice her 'revisions'

Notice her 'revisions'

She did not bother to buy a “from us” card. Not Linda Carol. She made one. And that is awesome! I’m gonna excuse the fact that her ‘editing’ resulted in some bad grammar (where we am) because it is hilarious ;)

I already told y'all my middle name is Rashida, so no need to comment on that.

I already told y'all my middle name is Rashida, so no need to comment on that.

This part isn’t actually that funny. It’s kind of become a little tradition of ours. She sent me a check for 31 dollars because I am turning 31. Last year she sent me 30 roses… you get the picture. My mom’s hilarious. Even when she doesn’t mean to be.

Love you Mommy. Thanks for making me! Oh yeah, and Daddy too ;)

Your mom doesn’t want to hear jokes about your sex life, even if the joke is that you don’t have one…

It’s true.

I know cause I sent my mom the link to my Live at Gotham preview (http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=167549) the other day, and she never responded to the e-mail. Her only daughter on TV… almost… and she has no comment. Strange-o, huh?

I thought so, so I called her and was like, “Hey, Ma. Did you watch that video clip I sent you?” And she said, “Yes.” And I said, “Well what did you think?” And she says, “Who did your makeup? It looked good.”

Ummm… was that an answer to the question? Me thinks not.

So then I said, “They had professional makeup people there.  What did you think of the clip, though?” And then she said, “They liked it.” Of course since you were not privy to her tone, I feel the need to clarify that ‘they’ is a reference to the club full of heathens that laughed at a joke about me not having sex and the virgin birth.

Whatevs, Ma. You gotta loosen up.

Her selective prudishness cracks me up sometimes… That’s why I took complete pleasure in catching her off guard this afternoon. I got my tax stimulus check in the mail and called to tell her (I was under the assumption that I wasn’t gonna get one at all). Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Guess what, Ma?

My Ma: What?

Me: I got stimulated

My Ma (almost inaudibly): Oh… OK. By what…?

Me: Haha… I mean I got my tax stimulus check from the IRS.

My Ma: Oh good, because I didn’t know how to respond to that.

I heart her. THE END