Still havent seen the full show, but a friend sent me this link to Ant’s weekly analysis of the show. I got a shout out that begins around the 2:35 mark. Check it out.
Last Comic Standing, Pt. I
Thanks so much for all your e-mail and text messages!!! The Nashville episode of Last Comic Standing aired on last nite and I was on it. Hooray!!! I was working so I didn’t get to see the entire show, but I’m sure I’ll be able to see the whole thing online soon. It was my first national TV appearance so I was geeked.
I’m hella sleepy right now, but as so many friends and family had no idea I even went out for the show, I thought I’d try and give a quick (yeah, right) recap of how things went down.
Back in January the manager at the DC Improv called and asked me to come do a guest spot at the club in a few weeks. I had never been asked to do a guest spot so far in advance of a show, so I was suspicious. But she didn’t let on that anything was up. But when I got to the club that nite in February, I noticed that there was a film crew there. So now I’m real curious but still no one was talking. All they told me was that I needed to stay til the end of the show.
So in between the emcee (good bud Herbie Gill) and the feature (other bud Jon Mumma) me and third good bud Jason Weems each do a 5-minute guest spot. When the show was over Herbie calls us back on stage and while we’re up there, Bill Bellamy comes from the back of the club, hops up on the stage and tells me and Jason that we just had a ‘Surprise LCS Audition’ and that NBC was flying us to Nashville to compete in the showcase round.
So about a month later, J and I fly down to Nashville. They put us up in a nice hotel and then that evening they shuttled us to the Zanies for the showcase. It was really cool because I got to meet some great comics whose work I’d admired from afar. It seems like they decided, for whatever reason, not to use the footage they shot in any of the Secret Auditions (from what I understand they went to several additional cities) which kinda stinks. Because I remember taping a fun segment in Nashville about how I didn’t have to camp outside and wait in line all day. Oh well.
I probably should have blogged about this and saved it until now, because the details of the day are getting mad fuzzy. But suffice it to say, the showcase went well, and I got a red envelope. Hooray!
Las Vegas semifinals here I come! Stay tuned for more LCS posts and watch me in the semis!!!
P.S. If you TiVo’d the show and can get it onto a DVD, please let me know! I’d love to have it.
Yeah, son!
This was so dope, I called like 4 people while I was watching to see if they caught it.
Real.
My Love Affair with P. Sway
“This is MY dance space. This is YOUR dance space. I don’t go into yours, you don’t go into mine. You’ve got to hold the frame.”
This scene where Johnny says this to Baby is the No. 1 reason why Dirty Dancing is my favorite movie of all time.
Followed by these other gems:
“You just put your pickle on everybody’s plate college boy and leave the hard stuff to me.”
“I didn’t spend all summer long toasting bagels just to bail out some little chick who probably balled every guy in the place.”
“I carried a watermelon.”
“It’s not on the one. It’s not the mambo. It’s a feeling… a heartbeat.”
“Me? I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw, I’m scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.”
Yeah… I know what you’re thinking… and I agree.
I remember the first time I saw this cinematic masterpiece. I was in 4th grade. It was a sleepover at Alissa Horn’s house, and we TOTALLY weren’t supposed to be watching it — what with all the ‘adult content’. But we were sneaky, and late at night Alissa woke us all up and popped the tape into the VCR.
It was a life-changing moment. I fell in heart with Patrick Swazye (P. Sway is what I call him) in the MOST inappropriate way. And then he had the nerve to go and make Ghost — I was sure he was the love of my life. So blinded was I that I sat thru films such as Roadhouse and To Wong Foo with absolutely zero judgment for my man.
My heart still flutters every time I hear ‘Hungry Eyes’.
I may never love like this again I know. Here’s to you P Sway.
What did YOU do this weekend? I solved a crime.
Yay! So last nite I took BFF Kellz to a murder mystery dinner theatre to celebrate her birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLZ!!!
Yes I know. I’m old. But we were both really looking forward to it. From everything I’ve ever seen or heard about dinner theatre, I expected it to be kinda cheesy. And Blair Mansion Inn did not disappoint. That is not to say that we didn’t really enjoy ourselves. We did! Me and Kellz are kinda cheesy too ;)
We got there around 6:30 for drinks and ordervs (I refuse to Google to find the correct spelling of that word. I’m comfortable with the afore-typed ignorance). Then came the dinner buffet. We each ordered a glass of Riesling and waited for the show to start.
The crowd was really interesting. There was a group of recovering military and staff from Walter Reed Army Hospital there, some senior citizens, a table in the corner that looked like the Negro Last Supper, a family with a little kid (who totally didn’t get the spank-the-monkey reference made by one of the ‘actors’ but laughed just the same), a woman from Sri Lanka, a couple from Budapest (they were ‘hungary’ — not my joke).
Here’s a synopsis of the play we saw — Three Strikes & You’re Dead:
The Maryland Crabballs, holding a strong last place position in the Virtual Baseball League (VBL), Is proud to announce a major acquisition to its starting line-up. Jose Canstriko, the league’s all-star center fielder will be joining the Balls, effective immediately. Excited at the prospect, young billionaire owner B.O. Smelly has commented that “Jose will be a valuable new member to our baseball family.” The team manager, Major Constance Strain, is somewhat concerned that this addition to the roster could disrupt his plans for the team, which is lead by its current center fielder, Willie Daze. Willie is accompanied by his overbearing wife, Stormy Daze, who’s here to protect her investment…namely Willie’s million dollar contract. Hopefully, Willie’s agent, Anita Deal, can pull some strings and get him a better contract.
The question is, when the dust clears and it’s all on the line, will the outcome be “fair or will it be a strike out” in the most permanent manner? Namely, Dead.
You be the judge……
Yeah, I know ;)
Jose died at the table next to us — with the hungary couple.
Getting rid of the evidence….
Did the compulsive gambling team manager do it?
Who knows?…
I liked that the show was interactive. We were encouraged to talk to the actors, which, as a stand-up, is weird at first… You kinda don’t want to interact because it feels a hell of a lot like heckling, but then you realize that’s what makes the show. By the end I was just shouting stuff out. It was like payback therapy. I hearted it ;)
In the end, Detective Justin Case helped us to examine the clues and determine who the murderer was…
TA DA!!!! I won’t spoil it for those of you who are just dying to see this show. I would totally do it again. It was just like I thought it would be and that was fine with me. I recommend it — more for the experience than the theater.
Two thumbs up.
EJ Out.
Double Blognificence — “What What” South Park Style
OK… my love for Samwell has been documented. He really is hilarious and such a sweet guy. We are friends now. Don’t be jealous y’all. Hopefully we can collaborate on something soon. I would love that… Get at me Sam!
But yesterday someone sent me something I hadn’t seen before — the South Park “What What in the Butt” parody… And I haven’t been able to stop laughing. So this is my gift to you on this holiday weekend. Don’t say I never gave you a Memorial Day gift.
Please disregard the opening credits. Kinda crass, but I can’t do anything about that… Note: the irony of me apologizing for the opening credits will be readily apparent after watching the video.
And for those of you not familiar with Samwell, I have to hip you to the original video…
And Part II (this is the funnier part) of his ‘revealing’ in -depth interview… My boy’s lip gloss is poppin’
I know just how you feel Panda
Lotte-REALLY? and white wine
I don’t play the lottery. Never have. The other day one of my friends told me she plays but only when the jackpot is over $200 million. Now that’s a lot of money, sure, but so is $20 million, $50 million, $100 million… I’m not sure how often the jackpot gets that large, but I do know that when it does, it takes me like 20 minutes to buy a fifth of Jack at the liquor store on the corner. Damn gamblers… Move out the way for us alcholics. But I digress…
I asked my girl why $200 mil was her cutoff and she explained that nearly half of your winnings are taxed. So if you won like $100 million, you’d only get $50 million… etc., etc. as if somehow that wasn’t worth it.
I then punched her in the throat.
Cause like I said, I’m not a fan of the lottery, but if you are and you’ve ever rationalized not playing because you were only going to NET $50 million of your $100 million jackpot, you’re an idiot. You spend 7 dollars to win 100 dollars and I’d call that a success. You spend 7 dollars to win 50 million, sit down and STFU.
This weekend I discovered that white wine is the devil.
On Saturday nite, I did two shows at a theatre in DC with some good lady buds of mine. Before I went up at the first show my fave funnygirl Diana Saez was sipping on a white wine, so in my attempt to appear equally sophistocated I ordered the same.
Glass and a half and I was on my ass. Now I can drink whiskey/bourbon like a champ but this white wine did things to me, y’all. I was super loose and had what – from what I remember of it – was a pretty good set. The cup was sitting on a stool on the stage and at one point during the set I remember talking directly to it. I sang, “WHITE WIIIIINE…” to the tune of Grandmaster Flash’s “White Lines.” I really need to see the tape.
When I got off stage, Diana said something like E, you were great. You should loosen up before you go on stage more often.” And even in my inebriated state, I recognized that that was not a good idea. It did not however stop me from having another glass before the second show.
Oh wow. I only remember snippets from this show — and I remember it like a movie trailer… I know there was a Black guy sitting in the front row. He may have been the only Black guy at the show and I remember asking him if he knew about white wine. I told him that White folks had been trying to keep it a secret from us and that he should order a glass. I then asked another guy in the front row what his name was and I remember he had an accent. I guessed where he was from and then told the audience that the white wine gave me superpowers.
I know, I wish I had been there to see it too.
Here’s the thing folks. I recognize that I’m not nearly funny or famous enough to crash and burn yet, so I’m gonna chill on the white wine for now. But as soon as I make it big, move to Hollywood and buy a mansion, white wine is the only thing me and my beautiful white trophy wife will have in our subzero stainless steel refrigerator. Don’t be jealous.
EJ. Out.