BLOG

I’ve never been short on opinions… I guess that helps in this line of work, but I’m always very wary of offering up my opinions on material to other comics when they haven’t asked. Some folks have no problem doing it. They’ll walk up right after your set and hand you an index card full of suggestions… but it always makes me uncomfortable… You never know how people will receive it. And if you really don’t like something, how do you diplomatically tell someone that their idea is weak? I usually end up doing more “I hope you don’t mind, but”s and “well, it’s just my opinion”s and “maybe it’s just not my style”s than anything constructive. I hate it, hate it, hate it… But last nite I sucked it up and offered a few unsolicited suggestions on a bit or two to a fellow comic and she was very receptive. It wasn’t any rocket science. Just stuff folks have said to me, but she got it and it made me feel good to pass on those few nuggets… So………… from now on this journal is going to be dedicated solely to my opinions on other people’s material. What’s good. What blows… complete with website links and bios. It’s gonna be so liberating! :)

Tee hee…

That would be awful wouldn’t it? I bet the traffic on my site would super-quadruple :) The end. Oh and I’m putting the Jamie Foxx joint back up for all y’all who missed it. It’s a couple years old, but still funny as all hell.

So as you probably know, the new season of Def Jam has begun airing. I’m happy it’s back. And it’s even better for me now, because I had no idea I’d become a comic back when that show was on the air originally. And now I watch it in a totally different way. I know and have worked with some of those comedians. That’s so wild to me! I’ve heard some comics talk about how Def Jam’s “time is up.” How there’s no money in urban comedy anyway, how the show is really only for Black audiences… That’s ridiculous to me, because the show is on HBO. Do you think HBO would put a show on the air if they thought it wouldn’t make any money and would only be watched by Black folks? That would be dumb on their part. We’re only like 10% of the population in this country. Other people are watching.

Good buddy Vince Morris kicked off the second episode of this season of Def Jam and did an awesome job. He’s not what most would call an “urban” comedian, but he did what he does uncompromisingly and got a standing ovation. YAY for that. Vince has been one of the biggest influences so far in my short career. He’s helped to show me that you don’t have to fit into anyone’s neat little box to make it in this business. And the fact that he was so embraced by the Def Jam audience showed me once again that you don’t have to compromise who you are to play to a particular audience. I’ve had people question my ability to work in Black clubs — My comedy is too accessible to other groups, they say. Will Black audiences find me funny? I have to believe the answer is YES. And not because I’m arrogant enough to think that everyone will find me funny, but because believing otherwise would imply that all Black people were the same — had the same taste. It’d be like saying people like me don’t exist.

I know this entry was jumpy, but I needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading. Def Jam rocks.

OK… so this morning while I was waiting for the bus, there was this other woman waiting there with her son – He was maybe 2 or 3… I got on to my bus and they were still waiting for the next one. And the bus driver asks me “Is that your little grandson?” GRANDSON? Now granted my face was covered a bit by my jacket hood, but damn if I look like someone’s grandma…
 
So I’m cool at first like “HA! You really think I look old enough to have a grandkid?” And he’s like, “Well you know these days, people get started so early.” And I’m like WHAT? I’m 28 years old… and so stops for a second and looks at me hard and I’m thinking now he’s gonna look at me and be like oh, my bad… But instead he looks at me and then says YOU’RE 28? – like he couldn’t believe it. Are you SERIOUS? Y’all I was about to cry. For real.

Toothpaste for Dinner is THE coolest website. The humor may be a little abstract, but it’s HI-larious to me!!! This is a cartoon from last week. I’m still cracking up… Way to blackmail your boss… My mom came to visit me over the long weekend. And she came with me to a show I did on Sunday nite… which was great. I wonder sometimes about how she’ll react to certain material, but she’s always super supportive. It’s awesome to have someone who’s in your corner, no matter what… I’m going to Arizona on Friday for a show. I’m going and coming back all within a 24 hr. period, but it should be a fun time. I hate checking my bags for short trips like that but since you can’t bring ANYTHING on a plane anymore, I guess I’ll have to. Talk to y’all on the other side of the trip!

OK, how hot is the new Lionel Richie single – “I Call It Love?” Way to come back strong! I’m loving that track! He’s got another hit on his hands, and that’s a good thing because he’s gotta keep baby girl in Prada and Gucci.

Yes, I’m old school.
 
Moving on, I saw the funniest thing this morning. There’s this (I presume) homeless man who’s usually standing on Washington Circle right in front of George Washington University Hospital when I get off the Metro in the mornings. And he’s been known to have some very interesting things lying around his cart. He’s got magazines and books lying on the ground — current magazines, in good condition. I think he’ll give you one if you drop some money in his cup. One day last winter, he was sitting down using a laptop and I remember thinking, really? A laptop? Do you have wireless internet access, cuz I don’t. I chuckled at that one. But THIS morning — this morning I came up the escalator, walked around the corner and this fool had a saddle sitting on the ground next to his shopping cart. A saddle y’all — like for a horse. You should have seen all the people consciously NOT looking at the saddle. I mean people would see it, and you’d just see this dazed, confused look cross their faces and then they’d look away — some shaking their heads like, “I did not just see that.”
 
Here’s my thing. Cool you have a saddle. You’re allowed. It’s not a crime. But if you’re homeless and you own a horse, maybe you should consider selling it… cuz those stable fees have gotta be kicking your arse.

Not really a question I ever thought to ask when I book a gig, but I will from now on. I guess I’ve always assumed that indoors is the default.

I don’t really have a problem with the outdoors, but its been between 90 and 100 degrees for the last week or two and last nite I drove 150 miles to a show in sweltering Philadelphia that ended up being outside. I walked by the setup in the courtyard and thought… oh cute, maybe some nites they have a jazz band out here or something — kewl — but when I went in to change and ask the guy who booked the show which of the many actual R0OMS in the facility we’d be in, he ushered me back into the courtyard. “Hey,” I thought, “maybe this ain’t so cute.”

The evening wasn’t all bad though. I had a good set and I got to hook up with one of my absolute bestest/most supportive friends in the whole wide world! She came and actually brought other people to sit outside and sweat while I told jokes. She is the best. Also, I got to see another very good friend perform, who I haven’t seen on stage in a while, and I got paid. By the time I got home (I stopped like 3 times on 95 South to nap) it was 3:30 a.m. And in case you forgot, I still have the day job, so I’m hurting right now.
 
I’m too tired to keep typing.

Hey y’all, I know I haven’t written in awhile, but I’ve been really busy lately… and I’ve got like 6 or 7 new/resurrected bits I’m really excited about, so hooray for that!!!
 
 Let’s see, I recently did a showcase at a club where one of the comics said he had moved to Baltimore two months earlier because he got a role on “Homicide – Life on the Street.”
 
 WHAT?
 
 I was sitting at a table with comedy buds Mike Storck, Rob Maher, Dave George and others and the looks on all of our faces was pure shock. “Homicide?” Are you serious? I think it’s time to change your setup – or maybe even quit. Quit comedy. That show’s been off the air since the 90’s. I think was wearing a pair of stonewashed jeans and a scrunchy during the series finale. My boy Robbie-Rob wrote a great blog about it – a must read.
 
 On Wednesday, I entered a competition at the Baltimore Comedy Factory, just so I could get some stage time in front of the new booker and I won. Woo hoo!!! It was just the first prelim, but the grand prize of the competition is $2500. Unfortunately there is no second prize, so cross your fingers and come out and support me in the semifinals and (hopefully) finals. Audience vote counts. More info to come.
 
 Went back to the Factory last nite to catch Mr. Politically Incorrect himself – one Mr. Nick DiPaolo and the show was great. I’ve worked with Nick before and hope to again, and I absolutely love his live show. He can just get away with things other people can’t and make me laugh at things I know I shouldn’t. If you’re trying to put a face with the name and you’ve seen Lucky Louie on HBO, he plays the building super. He’s awesome. If you’re not a fan, become one. The feature was a friend of his from Boston – a very funny guy. The emcee was DC local comic Tyler Sonnichsen who did a fine job.
 
 I was having a convo with some other comics over dinner the other nite and we were talking about our influences and comics that we are fans of. Those are two different things but a lot of people don’t understand that. Like I’m a fan of Dave Attell, Nick DiPaolo, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, George Carlin. I love what they do. But they are not my comedic influences. I mean of course studying great comics helps tremendously, but in terms of style and the voice I have (think I have/want to have) I feel like I’m influenced by Cosby, DeGeneres, Seinfeld, Maher, Ajaye, Rock…. Clearly, I’m nowhere near their level, but I think they’re the most responsible for the comic and I am and will become.
 
 Anyways, I’ll try to write more often. ‘Til then.

OK, so I’m thinking maybe I should try dieting again…
 
Because this morning on the Today show, they were doing one of those stories on how ‘overweight’ this country is and you know how they always show fat people’s butts walking down crowded city streets?… well lets just say I saw an arse that looked a helluva lot like mine… I KNOW it wasn’t — but the thought alone is enough to drive me back to Atkins. How awful would that be? You’re minding your business walking down the street and you inadvertently become the postergirl for ‘American Obesity.’ I mean I need some TV credits bad, but my butt on the nightly news is not quite what I had in mind.