I’m required coursework, and also I met a witch


Had a show last nite at Longwood University with my west coast bud and NBC Diversity College Tour-mate, Hasan Minhaj. Things got a little testy during Hasan’s set when a student who said she was a witch got into it with and said she “could if she wanted to” put a spell on another student (YES, REALLY…), but he recovered nicely. It was a great turnout for an early-semester Friday nite show, but then we realized that many of the students were there because it was a requirement for one of their classes.


And here I thought they came out because I was getting famous… Exhale.

I also met the Black person who shops at Abercrombie and Fitch.


I thought she was an urban legend.

All in all, a good time was had at Longwood. ‘Til next time, E

Cotton blends and conspiracies


Sometimes I like to play Russian Roulette with my “dry clean only” clothes and throw them in the washing machine. It’s not because I can’t afford to have them cleaned. I do it for the thrill… and also because I secretly think there’s some kind of collusion between designers and dry cleaners… No way some of these fabrics can’t survive in the regular wash. I swear some of these designers get a cut of dry cleaning industry profits. 80% Cotton? I’m not sending that to the dry cleaners. You gotta be kidding me. I’m willing to throw it in the machine and roll the dice… or spin the wheel… or cock the pistol — feel free to choose the metaphor that works best for you.

When I win, it is EXHILARATING!

When I lose, it is EXPENSIVE.

Old Skool

I am going with my friend Jo-Ann to an old skool party tonite — which I’m pretty sure means the DJ will be spinning 80’s & 90’s classic hip hop and R&B joints and people will be wearing horrible outfits they should have thrown away years ago… Sounds like big fun, but I’d settle for a guy offering to buy me a drink…

That would be really old skool.

Oh, the single life…

I see right through you…

Right Through You – Alanis Morissette

My absolute favorite song from “Jagged Little Pill” and it captures exactly how I’m feeling right now about Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie. The remarks he made during his follow-up press conference on Friday re: hiring Michael Vick made me sick. And it amazes me that reporters and commentators and bloggers alike are lauding him for being “charitable” enough to sign Vick despite his personal convictions, when his statement was so clearly bullshit. I mean seriously, I didn’t see a selfless man willing to give  a guy a second chance because he was big-hearted. I saw a businessman bashing his most recent (and potentially most profitable) investment in years in order to justify an unpopular decision that was based strictly on the bottom line. You can ‘t convince me of anything else. The NFL is a billion dollar business and Michael Vick has the potential to help lead the Eagles to a championship. Jeff Lurie knows it. And signing him because of that is a perfectly reasonable — hell, a very, very smart — business move. But in trying to pretend it was about anything else, he comes off as either a liar or a bad businessman. And neither is a good look for him.

Below are a few excerpts from an article/commentary I just submitted for a magazine. Not sure it’ll get published so I wanted to post some of it here. OK, here goes — and I promise I’ll chill on the Eagles posts until at least next weekend. This events of this weekend have just been so unexpected!

“I needed to see a lot of self hatred in order to approve this.”

That’s just one of the classless and seemingly disingenuous remarks Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeff Lurie used to explain his decision to sign Michael Vick in his 8/14 press conference. He then went on to explain how much he loved animals, and how he’d lost several dogs in the past few years. He described Vick’s actions as “murderous” and “inexcusable” and lamented for nearly 15 minutes about how difficult it was for him to decide to sign Vick…

Continue reading →

Short ‘n sweet

Coach Reid in the 8/14 presser re: how Michael Vick will contribute to the team:


I’m not going to sit here and tell you how he’s going to contribute because I’m not naive to think that the rest of the National Football League’s not watching… I will say, though, that he will contribute. And you can ask defensive coordinators on other teams if they are worried about that.” — Andy Reid

Gotta love that. Coach Reid, succinct as ever.



Now this was unexpected.

In principle I’ve been totally for Michael Vick getting the chance to play in the NFL again. I think he got a raw deal on his jail sentence, and I believe he should have the opportunity to get his life back. But I gotta admit, that I never in a million years thought he would land in Philly. I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. Lurie, Reid, and the boys have made some smart (albeit hard to swallow) decisions during the offseason and so I hope know they have a plan here. I’m just having a tough time seeing it just yet.

The pros as I see them so far are: 1) Having Vick as an option could help to keep McNabb on his toes. Clearly they didn’t bring him in to take over the starting QB spot, but having a waaaay-more-than-viable second string QB (provided he’s able to get back into his pre-prison conditioning/form) forces Donovan to make sure his game is as tight as possible… As much as Eagle fans love to boo McNabb’s mental lapses, we never really want to see Kolb or Feeley — or whoever the other guy is — take the field. A little fire under the ass is a good thing. 2) Vick’s athleticism lends itself to all kinds of interesting and creative looks on offense. We lost our best all-purpose defensive player in Dawkins but now we’ve got a guy that can realistically jump into any number of offensive sets and make it work. I’ve often been critical of Andy Reid’s play calling. So this should be interesting.

I’m sure there are more pros that I’ll come to recognize in the coming weeks, but I guess my biggest concern is that maybe we were already OK and now we’re forcing it. Michael Vick isn’t an egomaniac and I’m sure he appreciates the opportunity and accepts what his role will be, but I’m just scared that when certain egos get involved and chests start to puff out, we’ll end up like those LA Lakers teams in the early 2000’s where they stacked the roster with superstars but couldn’t get it together. McNabb says he’s not worried about his spot and that he lobbied to get Vick to Philly — which I’m sure is all true now, but…

Exhale. Time will tell. I’ll reserve judgement for later and in the meantime just put a little faith in the front office. (Haha who said that? ;) Well, that’s all for now. But I’ll be checking out this 11am presser for sure.


I am broke… but I will NEVER be this broke

Just a little update since the last time we chatted…

As you know, my car was stolen about 3 weeks ago. It was actually recovered, but it was beaten up so badly the insurance company totaled it. Boooooo, right? Well hang on… That’s not the best part. Last weekend I was headed up to Philly for Eagles Flight Night (an event I was SUUUUPER excited about) and I got into a 4-car pile up on the B/W Parkway. Airbag deployed… I was a bit banged up… Triple A had to come get the rental. So now I have a claim into the insurance company for my stolen car AND the rental that I wrecked. Plus I still have to buy a car.

Basically I’m broke. Very damned, in fact.

Which brings me to my point: I may not know yet how I’m going to get a car in the next week or so. I may be a little late paying all of my a couple bills this month… But I will NEVER, EVER be so broke that I mop up a coke off my kitchen floor and then squeeze it back into a glass and drink it. Because that people, is a choice.

“In these tough times?…” Dude, that’s crackhead sh!t. I tune out of this infomercial at that point EVERY time it comes on. Whose idea was that?

No matter what, I vow to myself here and now that I will never let it get that bad.

The end.