“I’ve got a nautical theme pashmina afghan.” — by far my favorite line.
Followed closely by:
“I’m on a dolphin/Doin’ flips and s—.”
“F— trees, I climb bouys mother——.”
“Poseidon, look at me-eeee.”
Why replace your laptop screen when you could just buy a new computer?
Oh wait… what’s that? I CAN’T AFFORD to buy a new computer OR replace my laptop screen?
Well that changes everything.
Back in mid-January the backlight went out on my Dell laptop just for no reason. I thought it’d be something cheap to repair. Replace a bulb or something simple… But it turns out I’ll have to replace the entire screen because it’s all one piece. Damn technology. I think I can get a new one for about $250… But for just $700 I could by one of the HP Vivienne Tam Digital Clutches. They’re super cute and only as big as my joke notebook. I know I can’t afford it, but I want one. (Yes I know the logic of spending an extra $450 for a new computer sounds dumb… but that’s because you haven’t SEEN it yet.
LUST, GREED, ENVY... I've used up 3 deadly sins on just this one tiny computer
See? I was over at my girl Dana’s house and she was invited by HP and Vivienne Tam to come to NY Fashion Week and blog about the clutch — all expenses paid PLUS they gave her the clutch and I fell in love.
Now, look how cute we look together!
Now clearly, I’m not going to be able to buy this clutch, but I think they have them at a much more affordable price without the designer element… I could do a basic black or purple or yellow… and of course by “I could do” I mean, “I would accept as a gift for my 30-ONE-derful…”
Exhale. A girl can dream, right? One of these days… Enjoy the Grammy’s. SO much to blog about.
Errbody, do da stanky legg
Â
Are you doin’ it?…
I am.
You gotta be $#@%-ting me!!!
Come the hell on.
I mean, I know it’s my fault for being up watching TV at 5 a.m. but really, come the hell on. Watching CNN to keep up with what’s going on with the stimulus package vote–and this damn commercial comes on. I HAD to go to the site…
Barack-in-the-box... This is just too far.
I am now adding this to the list of things I’d like to UNsee… I refuse to post on the Barack sex toy someone sent me a link to. That is just plain disrespectful.
Exhale.
Valentines Day 2009: I’m off the market ;)
Hooray!!!
A huge thanks to those of y’all who bought tix to my Valentine’s Day show in DC at the Improv. We sold out the show last Thursday, so we added a second show at 10:30… And we sold that one out too! YAY HOORAY! Can’t wait to see you guys next Saturday. It’ll be big fun, I promise!!!
Etta James done lost her damn mind…
Etta trying to drum up buzz for her Beyonce/Barack diss album
***Etta James talking greasy (Listen)***
In case you haven’t heard this yet, Etta James was talking mad smack about President Obama and Beyonce. What is this old chick thinking? Barack isn’t her president? Kicking Beyonce’s ass? Etta you’re 71… Guess she’s just salty because she didn’t get to sing at the inaugural balls.
I love how classy Beyonce is in not making a statement. I have a girl-crush on her. Talk about ungrateful… If Beyonce hadn’t just played her in Cadillac Records, Etta James would just be another utterly irrelevant “sayer of nay” right now (shout to Michael S. ;)
In the words of the great philosopher Jill Scott, “Hate on hater.”
Praise Jesus, I’ve been …healed?
OK, so I stole this from the Best Week Ever blog… I’m not sure it’s legal to just pilfer an entire post. I hope they don’t sue me. But this had to be posted in its entirety because I don’t want you all to NOT click the link and miss out ;)
OK, here goes:
via Best Week Ever by Dan Hopper on 2/4/09A friend of mine sent me this link to the Passion For Christ Movement, which appears to be either a Los Angeles-based youth-targeting religious organization, or makers of the funniest t-shirts I have ever seen (likely both):
Yes, for your information, I’m buying one of these for myself immediately, and it’s not completely ironic, it’s also somewhat true — I have masturbated in the past and am not currently masturbating this very second, and I would like people around me to know this. After the jump, two even worse shirts from the Ex-series: This one make a perfect gift for your friends who had sex in the past but now no longer have sex:
Or, if you prefer to forego the ironic t-shirt route and just want to wear something attention-grabbing and terrible, you can always go with the cult classic:
Ummm… This can’t be real.
I heart the BWE folks for putting this out there. I heart DWJ for e-mailing me about it. And if this is a joke, I want to marry the people who are behind it. All of them. For real, I’m talking “Big Love” style.
Out.
Snuggies, Martin and Monks
My best friend Jenny bought and just received her new Snuggie.
Comfy... YUM!
She bought the burgundy one and said that she and her husband are walking around the house looking like Martin in the episode where he joins the cult/monastery:
Even before she sent me the link, I knew exactly what episode she was talking about and I hollered. Hahaha… what’s funnier than that? Since she gave her husband the second Snuggie, I’m hoping that she might see fit to gift me one of the extra booklights for my Thirty-ONE-derful/10th anniversary of my 21st birthday next month… AÂ girl can wish, can’t she?
Tee hee, Jenny ;)