Anatomy of a Hip-Hop Classic: LL Cool J — “I’m Bad”

I think I’m gonna need backup…

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So after my club experience a few weeks ago, I’ve been thinking a lot about the hip-hop I grew up on… in the good ol’ days ;) LL Cool J’s Bigger and Deffer is one of the first rap ‘cassette tapes’ I ever bought. This album came out in 1987, so I was just a baby — in 4th or 5th grade. I remember that I used to play it really low so my parents wouldn’t hear all the cuss words. I still know every word to, I think, every song on that album… Now that I look back I sooooo shouldn’t have been listening to this album at that age, but whatevs ;) I learned a lot by listening to that record. Here are some of my favorite tracks from B.A.D. Pls. pardon me if I get any of these lyrics wrong. I’m doing this off the dome w/o the help of Google.

The Bristol Hotel — I knew a fat girl / She wore an orange skirt / You give her 20 dollars and you could do work / She takes food stamps and travelers checks because her hair and her face and her life’s a wreck… (I think this is how I learned about prostitution).

I Need Love — When I’m alone in my room / Sometimes I stare at the wall / And in the back of my mind / I hear my conscience call / Telling me I need a girl / Who’s as sweet as a dove / For the first time in my life / I see I need love (The king of all sappy hip-hop love songs; this is when I first fell in love with one, Mr. James Todd Smith)

Kanday — I met this new girl / With big juicy lips / And nice round hips / I mean her body’s a trip… (This is how I learned what it takes to keep a man … and that I wasn’t willing to put in that much work ;)

But my favorite song (and I’m sure it was yours too ;) off this album was “I’m Bad.” You can say that the lyrics to the above tracks were cheesy or raunchy, but the lyrics to I’m Bad were just H.A.R.D… In 1987, son???? Hard.

I was listening to this track on repeat for like half an hour this morning and wow… Dude’s brag is sooo huge, but you kinda have to love a guy who loves himself that much. I used to write hip-hop album reviews for allhiphop.com. Dig around the site archives and you’ll find a few with my name on ’em… I wish I could have reviewed Bigger and Deffer when it first came out. These would have been some of the lines I pulled from “I’m Bad”:

Got concrete rhymes / Been rapping for ten years / And even when I’m bragging I’m being sincere

Not bitter or mad just provin’ I’m bad / You want a hit give me a hour plus a pen and a pad

My vocals exact / Like rack and pinion in a Jag

I eliminate punks / Cut ’em up in chunks / You were souped you heard me / And your ego shrunk / I’m devastating / I’m so good it’s a shame / Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal / They call me insane

I was just remarking to a buddy that no matter how many smooth commercial R&B/Hip-Hop tracks LL puts on a CD, he always has at least one banger that reminds us of the good old days. Plus his beef tracks about Ice-T’s perm, Kool Moe Dee’s Star Trek shades, and Canibus … threw a wrench or in a couple cases put an actual end to other rappers’ careers.

However I would be remiss if I didn’t point out some of the less-than-stellar lyrics in this track, such as: Continue reading →

John Edwards, you ARE the father — let the hacky blog ensue

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Soooo Johnny Boy, it’s time to lace up your track shoes and start practicing your high knees because you are well on your way towards doing short sprints around Maury Povich’s studio. I don’t know why we still get surprised when these politicians do dirt. They are human and just as likely — if not MORE likely — to do evil shit.

How awesome would it be if there was “a very special Maury” just for politicians and religious figures to determine paternity of alleged love children. John Edwards, Jesse Jackson, Jacques Chirac… It would be EN-TER-TAIN-ING!

Here’s a random sidebar b/c I’m a little loopy this afternoon. Do you think when women are being screened for the Maury show the producers make them take off their shoes and clock how fast they can run around the studio? Do you think that any women get denied for being too slow. Sorry Keisha, you *do* have 7 baby daddy’s but your “40” time is waaaaay to slow…

Exhale… I am so embarrassed that I typed this entry, but that’s not gonna stop me from posting it. And don’t judge me because you read it.

Piece,
EJ
(Yes I am aware that is the wrong one)

Tonite on WRC-TV (NBC4 in DC for you local folks…)

I’m gonna be profiled — not sure how extensively — in a piece on tonite’s 11 o’clock NBC newscast. I won’t be able to catch it because I’ll be performing at 6th & I (and hopefully you’ll be there too!) … So I hope none of us sees it actually ;) But if you happen to be home and awake check it out! The segment is called Capitol Comedy I think. Should be neat! If I can get my hands on it and I don’t embarrass myself, I’ll post it here soon ;)

Here is a link to the NBC4 blog item about it.

Source: http://nbc4connected.wordpress.com/2008/08/07/lol-in-dc/

Oh my damn…

And I quote:

Fla. man dials 911, complains his sub had no sauce

2 days ago

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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) — The sauce for a spicy Italian sandwich was apparently a must have for one Florida man. The man, Reginald Peterson, called 911 twice after a sandwich shop left off the sauce.

Peterson initially called the emergency number Thursday so that officers could have his subs made correctly, according to a police report. The second call was to complain that police officers weren’t arriving fast enough.

Subway workers told police that Peterson, 42, became belligerent and yelled when they were fixing his order. They locked him out of the store when he left to call police.

When officers arrived, they tried to calm Peterson and explain the proper use of 911. Those efforts failed, and he was arrested on a charge of making false 911 calls.

Peterson did not have a listed phone number.

Source

Haha… I saw this at Crunk & Disorderly and it reminded me of this gem.

You’re welcome.

Washington Post Weekend Section & EJ! / DCCF

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Hey guys,

This is a quick one… Very cool feature in The Post Weekend Section on next week’s DC Comedy Festival which takes place August 7-9 here in Cap City! Come on out to the festival. I’m gonna be hosting the Shades of Black show on opening night at Synagogue @ 6th and I with some of my favorite comedy buds from NYC. Visit the DCCF site for tickets.

Come on… Comedy in a synagogue? You don’t wanna miss it!

E