You’re a mean one, Mr. Jackson

I caught Old Man Jackson posting his no trick-or-treat signs this evening. I knew he was on his way to hang them because he asked me if you spelled “treat” with an “e” and an “a” or two “e’s” because it didn’t look right to him. I should have told him it was the second way. Would have made for a much funnier photo. I’ve been calling him Mean Old Man Jackson all day and yelling out the window for people to get off his lawn. Even though there was no one on the lawn.

This one was taken from inside my Halloween Prison. Let me out, Scrooge!!! These kids’ costumes are so cute I just wanna go outside on the sneak tip and give them some Mentos out of my purse. I hope someone breaks me outta here.

Attica! Attica!

It’s Halloween, not Passover…

So, apparently it’s Halloween… Halloween has never been my “thing.” I was allowed to dress up 2 or 3 times when I was really little (I’ve seen a photo of me as a pumpkin and one as Strawberry Shortcake), but after that my parents explained to me that Halloween was not a “holiday” we were going to celebrate in our house. As Christians my folks believed that it wasn’t in keeping with their beliefs, so when I was old enough to understand that, Halloween went away. I don’t remember being bummed that I didn’t have a costume, but I didn’t like being one of the few kids that didn’t get to participate in the “Halloween Parade” around the blacktop during recess.

And of course I wanted to get candy. So my parents just bought me a pail full. But they didn’t give out candy to trick-or-treaters. In fact, my dad would put a sign to that effect on the door, turn off all the lights (outside and inside) and tell us to keep quiet so nobody knocked. And I’d always think: is he confusing Halloween with Passover? They’re kids dressed up like Batman and Wonder Woman. They’re not the angels of death…

I’ve never attended a costume party or even dressed up as an adult. It looks like fun, but at this point in my life, I look at it like weed or cigarettes — if I made it all the way to 33 without trying it, what’s really the point? This Halloween I’m at my folks’ house and I’m anxious to see how they handle it nowadays. If hilarity ensues, trust I will report it. Enjoy the cute kiddies, y’all!

Pumpkin patch parties, The Incredible Hulk, and regret

It seemed like a good idea at first…

BFF Angi enlisted the help of some of her best girlfriends to pick out a Halloween costume for her son, Roman (7 1/2 mos. old). We passed on an owl, an elephant and a pumpkin and finally settled on this adorable number below.

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Angi’s husband wasn’t too keen on having the baby dressed in such a cutesie costume. He suggested we try and find him a more manly costume — like Robocop or something. My response of course was that we’d probably have a difficult time finding a Robocop costume for the baby because he’s way too little… AND because it’s not 1988.

But I digress.

Roman was scheduled to attend the Pumpkin Patch Party* at their church (*more on this later). So Angi got him dressed and he was adorable as usual. Please see below:

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I know, right… We all thought he looked adorable but I’m pretty sure he’s going to hate us for this in like 10-12 years. Now I wasn’t there, but I imagine this next photo was taken after Daddy explained that Mommy and her friends would be showing these pictures to his future wife one day. Continue reading →

Dude looks like a lady… kinda

Each year on the Tuesday before Halloween, thousands of Washingtonians come out to Dupont Circle for the annual High Heel Race. Dupont is the center of DC’s gay community and the high heel drag race is an event where a bunch of men dressed in drag and other crazy costumes come out and put on a mini-parade which culminates in a race down 17th Street. I’ve been attending religiously for the past 4 or 5 years and I heart it.

I had a pretty bad day today. Got some awful news that completely bummed me out. I almost didn’t go but as I was sitting at home on my sofa I thought to myself, “What better way is there to pull yourself out of a funk than to go to something so ridiculous?” So I got up and went and I’m super glad I did.

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This is me and my bud, Kojo. I brought him to the race for the first time last year. It took some convincing, but after last year’s event I think he was hooked. Now he’s my drag race road dawg ;) Continue reading →