Going back to Cali, Cali, Cali…

So I’m in California this week for the finals of the NBC Diversity contest. And just like last time, I thought you’d be interested in every minute detail of my trip… Obviously that’s a lie. But if you make it to the bottom of this blog, lemme know. I appreciate you and you’re a good friend ;) Sorry in advance for the epic.

SUNDAY

Ran into Sheryl Underwood at LAX. I met her about a year ago when she was in DC with another comedian friend of mine. She took us out for drinks and was super nice. She asked if I was living in LA now and I told her what I was doing out here. She gave me some great words of encouragement and some advice as well. Then she asked if I was ok and needed anything…  cash, etc. while I was in town. Of course I thanked her and told her no, even though I am broker than a joke, but I just thought it was super nice of her to offer.  Who DOES that?

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Sunday nite I went to the Lakers game with Dawan. I”ve always wanted to see the Lakers play at home. And I got 100-level seats! They were playing the Bucks and it ended up being a pretty lopsided game but I was happy to be there ;) We were in the seats that were actually just chairs, you know so you can move around and no one can really put their feet on the back of your chair. I felt so famous ;) There were these two jerks sitting above us in the next section who didn’t stop shouting the whole time, but it felt good to sit in judgment of them — AH, the commoners in the cheap seats — they can’t help themselves ;) Tee hee ;)

MONDAY

I had a meeting at Universal Studios. While I was looking thru my paperwork trying to find the suite where my meeting was Howie Mandel came over to help. He was very nice and we talked about my being a comic. He and his friends were very helpful and he wished me luck. When I was leaving — out of habit and courtesy — I extended my hand to shake his. And in that moment I remembered — Duh. This is Howie Mandel. He met my outstretched hand with a fist. I won because paper covers rock. And in the end we just gave each other a pound. How could I have forgotten that about him. A lot of people think that the “not touching” thing is weird, but I say, hey, everybody’s got their something.

Monday nite was the showcase, which was tons of fun. I had a pretty good set. No complaints… The other comics on the show were Billy D. Washington, Meena Dimian, Hassan Minhaj, Ali Siddiq, Rob Stapleton, Yamaneika Saunders, Bobby Miyamoto, and Reese Walters. Up for grabs is a network holding deal and a spot on the NACA Stand-Up for Diversity college tour. A bunch of other comics, as well as managers, agents and industry others came out. It was a great event in a swanky nightclub, and hosted by my old friend Bill Bellamy! I’m 0-1 at competitions he hosts. We’ll see what happens this time. ;) Here are a few photos from the evening.

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Me and the HILARIOUS Billy D. Washington. If you’re not familiar with Billy, apologize to and then forgive yourself and then look him up. He is just too………. ;) My favorite two take-away lines from his act that nite…  “I just found out my great-great grandfather was a runaway slave… because my great-great grandmother was a bitch.” and Nicorette sounds like a really small Black person.” I heart him. You should too. Continue reading →

The Last Comic Standing… and me

So this past Friday and Saturday I worked with Alonzo Bodden at the Montgomery and Arlington Cinema ‘N Drafthouses. Alonzo’s super funny and just in case you don’t know him, he was the Season 3 winner of Last Comic Standing.

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I really enjoyed working with him and thought he was a super nice guy. So this is my best “I really don’t want to look uncomfortable because you’re hugging me but you caught me off-guard face”… Because y’all know how I am about the hugging ;) Please notice my complete inability to hug back.

I need to see a shrink.

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This is my friend Carrie. She is the namesake of the “Carrie” in my jokes, but I think she’d like me to clear up the fact that she didn’t really say ALL of the things I attribute to her in my act… Of course if you asked her, she might say that she didn’t say ANY of those things. One of us would be lying. It’s up to you to determine… but remember who’s your friend ;)

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This is Carrie with her hubby Luke. Luke’s my Jersey homie and one of the funniest people and best cooks I know. Ahem, ahem… Lukie, please invite me back over for dinner.

Dude… I’m so not lovin’ it

I tried to stay quiet about this ”McNugget Lovin” ish. Really I did. But I can no longer hold my tongue… I don’t know which commercial I hate more, this new McNugget commercial or the “You better don’t” McDonald’s chicken strip commercials from a few years back. But I’m seeing a pattern that when Mickey D’s is trying to sell chicken, they get extremely stereotypical with it. I don’t want to call their marketing campaigns racist, but their marketing campaigns are pretty freaking racist. Before I continue with this blog, I need each of you to watch this clip below of my good friend Vince Morris on Def Jam a couple seasons ago… And then we’ll talk on the other side.

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Vince is so right about the way ad agencies market things to and within the Black community. It really is laughable that they think they have the formula figured out — that all it takes is some random brown person shuckin’ and jivin’ to get us out to the stores. Because for so many of us, these stereotypical-ass commercials have the complete opposite effect. In light of what went on during the past year in this country — the way all kinds of minorities came together and disproved the belief that we are monolithic. One dimensional. In light of the fact that the next president of the United States is a Black man… I am offended by commercials like these, and I question how the actors involved can righteously accept these roles. Sure I understand the need to make a living as a performer. But damn…

I’m not a fan of the Hilshire Farms “GO MEAT” commercials either.

But at least the ones in video form are… diverse (this is my best attempt at the ‘say something nice’ challenge). But the ads that come on Black radio… Puhleeze. No really, I’m going back to my Sarah Palin “Bitch Please” face. I mean, “Go mama. (YEAH!) Hilshire Farms, mama… (YEAH!)” Really? If I were a radio station program director with an ounce of social responsibility, I’d have a really hard time running those ads.

Exhale. I could go on about this forever. How do y’all feel? Do you think these commercials are offensive? Or just silly? Am I overreacting? Gimme a holler and let me know.

Let’s drink to CHANGE!

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So, in the interest of keeping the party going, one of my girlfriends forwarded me this post from Bossip.com. A French businessman has created an energy drink and named it after… yeah of course — Barack Obama. This actually doesn’t quite belong under the “dumb Obama-phernalia” category because much of the proceeds will go to support an educational charity based in one of the troubled Paris suburbs. I’m just not convinced there will be any proceeds. The ‘creator’ of the drink says he’s been handing out cans to young people living in the area hoping that Obama’s success will serve as an inspiration to them. He plans to auction off Obama Soda in January.

BUT.

He didn’t really create a soda. After digging around a bit, I found that all he did was create a tag and stick it to a can of pre-existing energy drink. And he plans to auction off the cans to raise money for the charity. Watch the video here.

Maybe it doesn’t belong under stop the bull, but I do think this venture belongs in the “screw effort” category. Am I misunderstanding what’s going on here?… Despite the fact that it sounds illegal, why would someone pay money for that anyway? They could just donate to the charity. Dude, EJ loves the kids, but if I want to support an educational charity I’m not gonna go to an auction to bid on a Red Bull in sheep’s clothing. I’m writing a check.

Huh? Yeah, me neither…

Oh bama

Eater SF — Hilarious!!!

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Ok, so if yesterday was a blah day, this totally makes up for it. Check out the mention and link to this blog in the Eater SF’s coverage of Top Chef’s Jamie Lauren… Click to enlarge the image — it’s the third link down ;)

Also, in case you were interested in an update, we caught up on Facebook, so my stalking paid off ;) How cool is the Internet?!? ;)

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Less Miserable

So I had a pretty blah day yesterday. You know, one of those days where you get things done, but you’re totally going thru the motions… Throughout the afternoon I was seriously considering not even going to the thee-a-tah. All I wanted to do was curl up on my sofa and fall asleep reading my latest David Sedaris discovery. But then I thought about how my new bud Sara, who I met at the Drag Races and works at Signature Theatre, was sweet enough to offer me theatre tickets and I quickly dismissed the thought. Plus, what better cure is there for a blah day than to get all dressed up and go see a play whose very name suggests that it will help you to feel less miserable.

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Um yeah… Not so much. The play was great! I especially loved the actors who played Eponine, Cosette and Marius — but let’s just say the plot isn’t exactly a pick-me-up ;) I’d never seen Les Mis before. I was familiar with all the musical numbers because I had a roommate who used to played the soundtrack incessantly, but there’s nothing like live theater. I’ve always enjoyed it, yet I can’t remember the last time I went to a show. I’m thinking it had to be like 5 maybe even 6 years ago I saw an off Broadway show called ‘Crowns’… I missed the entire Broadway run of Legally Blonde: The Musical, and my good friend — the fabulous Amber Efe — was in that show for a year and a half. I know, I’m awful. Anyway, if you wanna see Les Mis, and you’re in or around DC, check out the show at Signature — it was great and I believe there are still some tickets available.

But if you want to feel less mis, you may wanna try a little David Sedaris ;)