My GPS makes me happy

***WARNING*** This may be the filthiest blog entry I’ve ever posted. But also probably the realest window into how immature I really am. Try not to be too disappointed in me.

So Saturday morning I woke up hungry. I was in Connecticut so I had to search my GPS for a place to eat.. I put “IHOP” into the search and it led me to this restaurant.

From the looks of it I could tell it used to be an IHOP, but this was the sign out front:

Now perhaps my mind is just filthier than most, but I instantly burst into laughter and thought this could have easily been the title of one of Osama’s pornos.

Cumin India = Cummin Into Ya

Yeah, I’m 12.

I actually had to get out of my car and look in the restaurant to make sure it was actually an Indian spot and not some other filthy-minded person’s idea of funny. Once I realized there were no steak omelettes in there, I used my phone to Google for a real IHOP and then entered it into my GPS. Here is the name of the street that the real IHOP was on:

Dixwell = Dick Swell

Damn you, Hamden, CT!!!

You’re making it too easy. Once my mind starts going off on one of these tangents it’s hard for me to turn it off. This all could have been avoided if they’d gone with ‘curry’ over ‘cumin.’ And even if this is only funny to me and my friends Ollie and Andy that’s OK with me. It made my Saturday.

The end.

Valentine’s Day — In case you missed it…

A great big, huge-tastic thanks to all of you guys who bought tickets (and those who wanted to but couldn’t) to my Valentine’s Day shows at the DC Improv over the weekend. We had a blast and I think the shows were great from top to bottom. It’s been a while since I posted new material so here’s some of the stuff that’s been on my mind as of late. A lot of it just came to me that night… so don’t you dare judge me! Tee hee ;)

My GPS needs a GED

OK, so don’t get me wrong… I love and appreciate the new Garmin GPS I got for Christmas. Thanks so much, Daddy! But I was driving home from my NYE festivities in Baltimore last nite and as I’m headed for the BW Parkway, my GPS tells me to “Exit right onto ramp for Russel ‘Saint’ South.”

Russel Saint South? Really GPS??? I mean as a GPS I’m thinking that when you see the abbreviation “St.” you should probably default to “street” and not “saint.” Who coded this thing? I’m just saying. The GPS is super handy — especially for someone like me who’s traveling in strange cities a lot (hopefully I’ll remember to be extra-special careful with it — as I have a habit of losing things). But it really caught me off guard last nite and there was no one in the car for me to share it with ;) Tee hee ;) You’re welcome.

Happy New Year everyone!