Stand-up, WorldPeace, and the streets

So, LA Laker Ron Artest is now a stand-up. His Ron Artest Ultimate Comedy Tour kicked off Friday nite at the Melrose Improv in LA. And I so wish I could have been there. I know a few comics who went out to catch the shows, and I’m anxious to hear how they went.

I like Ron Artest. I think at the core he’s probably a really good dude. He’s made some mistakes, been through some tough stuff, and seems to be dealing with his issues in a very healthy way. He’s become an advocate for mental health. He sponsors summer youth basketball leagues… And he’s damned entertaining. He consistently makes me laugh — though I’m not convinced he always means to.

A Twitter friend of mine asked me last nite if it made me angry when stars with no comedy background decide to foray into stand-up. I told him no. Because the stage is the great equalizer. For self-destructive actors. For professional athletes in a lock-out year. Even for great comedians. I’m really paraphrasing here, but in his documentary “Comedian,” Jerry Seinfeld says something like: Being famous gets you maybe five minutes of leeway with the audience. After that you have to be funny.

Can I get an “AMEN” Charlie Sheen?

At least Ron Artest realized up front that he should just host the show and pack it with established stand-ups. He’ll tell some prepared jokes, I imagine. And he’ll probably do some off the cuff, stream-of-consciousness stuff. And I’m sure people will laugh with/at him. Because he doesn’t take himself too seriously. I mean, have you heard him rap? He can’t be serious about that, right? And the name change thing… Here he is talking about it on PTI:

Oh, Ron. At least you’re not going completely “Ochocinco” with it. But I’m not sure you can call yourself WorldPeace and still be “the streets.”

Tee hee. I heart it. Live your life, Ron Ron. I’m a fan. #NoSnark

Real Crab Meat

It’s 2:18 a.m. And I had to post this before it left my brain. The following is a real life conversation between BFF Keisha and a random dude at this bar we just left. I was transcribing it in my phone as it was happening. You’re welcome.

DUDE: Girl yo eyes so pretty. You got the prettiest eyes in the world. Let me take you to a nice steak dinner… Lobster tail, with real crabmeat.

KEISHA: Real crabmeat?

DUDE: Yeah girl. Can I buy you a drink?

KEISHA: No, thank you.

DUDE: What’s wrong, you don’t like dark skinned men?

KEISHA: I have a man.

DUDE: Well shit girl you so fine you could bring him with you. He could order some appetizers or something.

Appetizers? Do y’all understand how large a man’s you-know-whats have to be for him to say something like that??!? You guys, being there to witness this exchange may have been the best thing that’s happened to me thus far in 2011. Dude was so serious. And I’m not mad at his game. He was a little older, and I bet that rap used to get him mad play back in the 90’s. The funniest part is he was so smooth with it. He said it like he was Oran “Juice” Jones talking to old girl in “The Rain…” or the bass singer in an R&B group. I almost feel like Keisha’s boyfriend should be OK with her going out with this guy. Just once. Because he earned it.

Sidebar, this whole convo got me to thinking about this video blog my friend Roy did a few months ago. He’s a bit angry in it. But angry is funny. So watch and enjoy. ;)

Thanks, guys!

Thanks so much to all of you who came out to my show at the Arlington Drafthouse last Friday nite!!! We only had a week to promote the show, and you guys packed it out!!! SCORE for social networking! It was so cool to meet so many of the folks I regularly interact with on Facebook and Twitter in the real world! Another HUGE THANKS to buddies Mike Way and Jason Weems who opened the show with me. Those dudes are fun-KNEE! Be sure and check them out too.

One of my Facebook/Twitter friends John wrote a very nice blog about the show here on his site: http://ghettopunkrocker.com.

Me and John

Thanks John. And THANK YOU ALL!!!