Sometimes when there’s a jazz quintet in the Macy’s men’s department playing “When the Saints Go Marching In,” you gotta join in and make it a sextet.
Life Lessons
My Exhale co-host, Rene Syler, has a fantastic website called goodenoughmother.com And on it, she has a feature called Life Lessons, where she asks some really great questions that invite her subjects to reflect honestly on their level of happiness, life’s goals and the progress they’re making towards them. For the last week she’s profiled our other co-hosts, as well as our producer and director (I actually think our director’s profile won’t be up until tomorrow) and I definitely wanted to share. Check them out when you have a chance and get to know each of these awesome ladies a little better!
Here is where you can find my profile, and click here to read up on the rest of the Exhale crew.
The Tour: Pt. 2
Tonite we played two shows at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach, SC. Such a cool venue. As soon as I walked in to the venue, one of the servers told me I had a delivery. Huh? Really? Then she brought in an Edible Arrangement and I thought, “Wow, it’s so nice of the tour folks to send me a fruit basket.” But then I checked the card and saw that it was from my three besties!
My girls are the best. A thoughtful gift that is both yummy and diet-approved! Love those ladies!
I’m allergic to kiwi so I tried not to eat anything that was touching it. I failed. My eyes and lips swelled and I ended up having to leave before the second show was over… But Dave Chappelle told me he enjoyed my act. So yeah… I’mma take some more Benadryl and lay my puffy-faced self in the bed with a smile on my face.
Hopping in the bed now. Off to Raleigh, NC in the morning!
The Tour: Pt. 1
So, I got a call from my manager during the middle of last week. Dave Chappelle was launching his summer tour in Richmond, VA and did I want tickets? HELL YES. He was Dave’s manager back in the day and he said he would probably be able to get me a pair.
Awesome.
I didn’t hear back from him for a couple days so I figured he wasn’t able to get them. Then when I come out of the gym on Friday nite, I have a message from someone at Live Nation. They wanted to see if I was available to open for Dave those two shows in Richmond. OPEN FOR DAVE… Dave Chappelle.
Awesome.
So I get to Richmond — nerves on a hundred thousand trillion — and I have an amazing first show. It may have been the best show I’ve ever had. When I got off stage, the promoter asked me what my schedule looked like for the next few weeks. And then the next morning he called me and told me that Live Nation and Dave were really pleased with my show and he asked me to join them for the whole tour.
Yeeeahhh!!! Whaaaaaaattttt??!??
They would need me in Winston-Salem, NC the next day. Then Myrtle Beach, Raleigh, Charlotte, Nashville, etc. I took my dad out for Father’s Day dinner, watched the NBA Finals game with him, washed clothes and packed for two weeks out, and then got on the road to North Carolina. Woohoo!!!
Me and Dame
I stayed with my friend Damon who lives in Winston-Salem; his building is literally across the street from the venue. Took me less than 2 minuts to get there. It was perfect! And by “perfect” I mean “free.” The show went well, but I ended up doing my entire set with the theatre lights all the way up. I KNOW. There was a follow spot on me, but the lights were on. And the whole time I’m thinking, “They’re gonna turn these lights down any minute…” Nope. Turns out someone at the theatre forgot to play the “this is where the emergency exits are” recording before I went out and they’re not allowed to bring down the lights before they do. I could see EVERYONE. So weird.
I’m so excited for this opportunity. It all came out of nowhere and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, but I feel like I’m ready for it. I’m gonna do my best to check in from every stop. Tomorrow we head to Myrtle Beach! Talk to you then!
I’m on a cab
My cousin in DC called to tell me she thought saw me on a cab on her way to work. “HUH? Do you mean in a cab…?”
Turns out this is what she meant. Me and my “Exhale” sistas are riding around and gettin’ it on top of taxis. How cool! So excited for our premiere! I totally feel like this right now… “I’m on a cab and it’s going fast and…”
One good apple…
Before
I usually don’t smile in hair salons. Because I hate them.
Or maybe I should say: I hate the hair-salon “process.” I’ve been to stylists who arrive dumb late for appointments. A-yo, respect my time, man. I’ve been to stylists who nickel-and-dime. The deep-conditioner application cost 15 dollars, but if you want me to wash it out, it’s gonna be 30. I’ve been to stylists who stack clients. How we ALL got an 11:00 appointment?… And as such, I have been relaxing, styling and sometimes trimming (I may need to stop trimming) my own hair since I was 15. On the rare occasions when I do need to go to a salon, I arrive with my hair relaxed, conditioned and wrapped and just ask the stylist to trim and style it. They don’t like it but it really is in everyone’s best interest, as I do not possess patience or restraint necessary to sit in a salon all day long without blacking out on somebody. “Ain’t nobody got time fo’ that.”
I took new headshots today. I felt like I needed to get my hair done professionally, so I made an appointment with a stylist I recently met. I walked thru the door with a side-eye, but when I got in I saw that I was her only client. We breezed right thru the process. In and out in two hours (the roller set added a lil extra time, but I asked for that) and she did a fantastic job!
After
If it was always like this, maybe I would go more often.
But it isn’t. So I won’t.
I is…
I is kind. I is smart. I is important.
On my way back from my show tonite in Orlando, I saw this blown-out Chili’s sign with and I had to snap this pic. I just watched “The Help” on HBO this weekend so this scene was fresh in my mind. My college booking agent Bridget says this to me whenever I’m being needy. Every time I think of her sarcastic consolations, I laugh uncontrollably. I know she’s mocking me, but it still makes me feel better. I posted this on Facebook and my cousin Adrianne said that my eye is fine tuned to the peculiar — that she would never have noticed something like this.
Ha. It’s all I could see.
Underachieving eye
I always thought “lazy eye” was a colloquialism we laymen used to describe some hard-to-pronounce medical term. But here I am, filling out medical history paperwork at my new optho opthalma eye doctor’s office, and they’re asking me if anyone in my family has one.
Why do those sound like fighting words?
“Yo mama got a lazy eye?”
Isn’t there a more scientific term for that condition — one that doesn’t conjure images of O-Dog or sound like the punchline of a “dozens” insult? And if there isn’t… Why isn’t there?
Furthermore, this label reeks of the “blame-the-victim” mentality so prevalent in today’s society. Labeling these eyes as “lazy” without first considering the external factors that may have contributed to their perceived sloth… I mean, give an eye a break. Maybe all they need is a little encouragement. I think Three 6 Mafia said it best — it’s hard out here for a(n) [eye].
You ain’t know?
Moving on, I’m getting new glasses for the first time in like 10 years. I began wearing them at age 2 and have been in contacts since 8th grade, but never really update my glasses because I only wear them in extreme emergencies. I’m soooo nearsighted (-12 in both eyes, plus a sizeable astigmatism, for those who know what that means) that my glasses, even with the thinnest lens material available, are way too thick for me to feel comfortable wearing them outside the house. But I picked these frames out today. What do ya think?
Mine are gonna be glare-free, scratch-free, and thrice as thick, but I’m pretty happy with my choice. My pupils are still a bit dilated so I’m gonna go home now and rest my eyes a bit a.k.a. take a nap. ‘Cause I don’t have amblyopia (thank you Google and Droid RAZR), but the rest of me is still a little bit lazy.