Good people

Every now and then something happens that reaffirms my belief that people are good.

I had a show last nite in Charlottesville, VA. I parked my car in a parking deck in DC yesterday afternoon, and when I came back to the car to leave for my show, the parking lot attendant told me that I had a flat tire.

Inconvenient? Yes. But I’ve changed dozens of flat tires, so it wasn’t a huge problem. I asked her if the car was in a spot where I had room to jack it up and she said yes. Cool. So the man who parks the cars walked me down into the garage and I popped my trunk and pulled out my spare… only to realize that it was flat. I then remembered how I had a flat last winter and never took my spare to be fixed. Typical me.

But what to do?

I didn’t panic or have a cussing fit because there really wasn’t anything I could do about the situation. It was too late to try and get it to a garage and have it fixed because they would be closing for the day. I can count on 1, maybe 2 fingers the number of shows I’ve had to cancel on really short notice. And I absolutely hate to do it. But sometimes things happen.

I called the guy who booked the show I was headed to and told him there was no way I was gonna be able to get my tire(s) fixed and make it to Charlottesville in time for the show. And just as I was about to go call a tow truck, the parking lot employee who walked me down into the garage offered to lend me his donut.

Who DOES that?

I’ll tell you who. No one. Continue reading →

Cullen Jones and the brothas in the Coast Guard — see, some of us can swim

This has been a great week for the “Black People Who Can Swim Movement.” First Cullen Jones was part of the US Olympic Swim Relay Team that won gold in Beijing, and just last nite I met two (count ’em “2”) brothas who are in the Coast Guard when I did a benefit on the USCG base at Curtis Bay, MD — granted one of them told me he operated the base’s forklift, but I’m pretty sure that brotha can at least float. My joke about every Black person in America having a story about the time they almost drowned went over swimmingly. Tee hee ;)

The benefit was for a The Greater Baltimore Area Coast Guard Spouse Association, which operates a not-for-profit baby pantry that provides clothes, housewares, baby furniture and other baby items for Coast Guard families, USGC civilian workers, as well as those in other military branches. Nate’s Open Door Pantry was founded in 2005 and has provided free items to more than 400 families. It was a great event, and I was so happy to be a part of it. If y’all are reading this and can ever use me again, gimme a holler. I’d be more than happy to come back!

Double Blognificence — “What What” South Park Style

OK… my love for Samwell has been documented. He really is hilarious and such a sweet guy. We are friends now. Don’t be jealous y’all. Hopefully we can collaborate on something soon. I would love that… Get at me Sam!

But yesterday someone sent me something I hadn’t seen before — the South Park “What What in the Butt” parody… And I haven’t been able to stop laughing. So this is my gift to you on this holiday weekend. Don’t say I never gave you a Memorial Day gift.

Please disregard the opening credits. Kinda crass, but I can’t do anything about that… Note: the irony of me apologizing for the opening credits will be readily apparent after watching the video.

And for those of you not familiar with Samwell, I have to hip you to the original video…

And Part II (this is the funnier part) of his ‘revealing’ in -depth interview… My boy’s lip gloss is poppin’

A Phenom With Flaws

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Below is an excerpt from Michael Gerson’s column in today’s Washington Post. Definitely worth reading the entire column. It gives a pretty objective look at his candidacy — its flaws and its high points — but also highlights the undeniable fact that Obama’s campaign has changed this country. I really enjoyed it. Hopefully you will too.

75,000 and one.

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Is Barack Obama a weak presidential candidate or a strong one? The answer is: yes.

…As a result of all these factors, Obama and McCain are running fairly even in respected polls such as Gallup, alternately trading the lead by a few points — at a time of massive anti-Republican discontent during which Obama should be cleaning McCain’s clock.

Yet I cannot get two figures out of my mind — 75,000 and one. There were 75,000 attendees at Obama’s Portland, Ore., rally on Sunday — a monumental political achievement, found at the confluence of organization and enthusiasm. Obama does not merely talk of a new kind of politics; his charisma, story and tone symbolize a shift in political eras. Obama voters believe they are changing politics forever — a claim that Al Gore or John Kerry could never credibly make. At its best, this desire to break the dominance of politics-as-usual motivated support for John Kennedy and the New Frontier. At its worst, it motivated support for professional wrestler Jesse Ventura to be governor of Minnesota — he won nearly half of young voters in a three-way election. In either case, it is hard to bet against excitement and idealism.

The “one” is Mark McKinnon — a media adviser to McCain, a friend and former colleague of mine, a Texas Democrat who strongly supported George W. Bush, and a man of great decency and integrity. Early last year, he gave me a copy of Obama’s book “The Audacity of Hope” and said he had informed the McCain team that he could not help lead a general election campaign against Obama. This week, McKinnon kept his word by resigning (though remaining a strong “friend and fan” of the McCain campaign).

It is a reminder of something that Republicans — even in the busy strife of a campaign — should not forget or underestimate. Obama is a serious, thoughtful, decent adult who will attract the sympathy of other serious, thoughtful, decent adults. He has evident flaws, but the inspiration he evokes is genuine. His policy views are conventionally liberal, but his story is not a scam. And, in some ways, his election would finally make sense of an American story that includes Antietam and Selma.

The enthusiasm of many Republicans and conservatives to defeat Hillary Clinton would have come unbidden. Against Obama, it will come harder.

I want to want to skip

I was on the bus this morning and I was sitting behind this little girl and her mom. She had on a cute little plaid school uniform, a ponytail with ribbons in her hair (the little girl, not the mother ;). She was adorable. When they first got on, she asked if she could sit on the inside seat so she could pull the “stop” cord. And she was so excited when she got to pull it! Then when her stop came — “ an elementary school about a half mile from my house — she got off the bus, waved back to her mom and skipped down the sidewalk to the front door.

I used to skip.

But I don’t think anyone/thing/place excites me like that anymore.

And though I know it’d be wildly unsexy and probably just plain inappropriate for me to skip anywhere now, I kinda want to skip.

Or maybe I just want to want to skip.

I’ve heard older folks say stuff like “Enjoy your youth” or “I wish I could be a kid again.” But I’ve never really identified. Maybe it’s because I’ve never thought I was old. But this morning I found myself actually envying an 8 year-old. With all the crap going on in the world, this little girl has a place that makes her so happy she has to skip to get there; what filled my heart even more was that she was skipping to get to SCHOOL.

A little black girl in Southeast D.C. so excited about school she almost ran to get there. Why isn’t that the lead story on the news?

I feel like there’s so much more I could say about how I feel right now, but I think I wanna keep it for myself ;)

Oh, NOW I see the resemblance…

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I see how you could get us confused… what with our chocolate complexions and fondness for Fuschia (rhymes with Rasputia by the way) but I have to say — and you’d better freakin’ agree — that that’s where the similarities here stop.

What are you talking about EJ? Well let me explain. I did a show this weekend with good buds Kojo Mante, Jason Weems and a very funny dude I just met called Adrian Rodney. It was a benefit show in the Lounge showroom at the DC Improv. Two sold out shows and I was proud to be part of it.

First show for me went great. Got the opportunity to do a little more time than I originally planned so I got to work thru some stuff. It was right on time. Second show about a minute into my set, I made a comment to a guy in the front row. Then after his response I told him I wasn’t scared of him because he was light-skinned. And he responded by calling me “Rasputia” — who in case you were confused — is the one on the left.

What surprised me the most is that in the moment I wasn’t insulted at all. I actually wanted to laugh because it was such a specific heckle. He could have called me ‘fat’ or ‘bitch’ or you know ‘fat bitch’, but no… He wanted everyone in the room to know exactly which ‘fat bitch’ I looked like. And I can’t hate on that. Hahaha… What’s more embarrassing?… being compared to Eddie Murphy in a fat suit, or admitting that I saw Norbit? I decided that I would address it and thus began the awkward nature of my set at the late show.

Twice I went to say something else to him but I kept telling myself. You are doing a benefit show for a very sensitive subject. This is not the place. DO NOT engage. But it was hard. About two jokes in I kinda got back on track. But when I got to the section of my act where I usually tell a group of jokes about size and weight and perception I got mad — again, not at his comment — but at the fact that now I didn’t get to be the one to bring up weight so it lost some of its punch. I did two of the jokes and right before I remember saying, “Here come the fat jokes, sir. Sit back and enjoy.” But I didn’t even get to the more clever bits, which are among some of my favorite bits in the act because by that point the topic had been addressed. Oh well. (pokes out bottom lip).

The table and the Rasputia guy enjoyed most of the rest of the set I think – I mean I saw them laughing. But I had to run to get to another event and I couldn’t stay til the end of the show. I’d have loved to talk to him and literally tell him how funny his comment was and how he threw me because literally I was standing there like… Good one. Ha! Anyway, that is what happened to me this weekend. I’ve been a lazy blogger. Trying to get back into the swing.

EJ Out.