I absolutely hate saggy pants. I thought this trend was fading out a few years back, but I’m realizing that was probably because the men I saw and dealt with on a regular basis had more sense than to leave the house and show their ‘literal’ asses. I remember a few years ago there was this movement to criminalize sagging in a lot of states… Not sure how many actually adopted it. But I found this chart online. It’s from the PD in Flint, MI where sagging has been outlawed.
I love how the option for the penalty is a $500 fine or 93 days to a year in lockup. I bet after just one day in jail these fools would have their jeans belted up around their necks. I wonder how this is working out. Being relatively familiar with the population in Flint, I imagine they would quickly run out of room in the jails if they were diligently enforcing this. Plus there’s a lot more work the PD there could be doing instead. Tu sabes? I dunno. I just thought this was funny.
I have struggled with allergies and sinus problems my whole life. I get at least one really bad sinus infection every year. It’s why I HATE spring.
So one of my girlfriends turned me on to the Neti Pot.
P.S. Just in case you're wonderin', the Tide has nothing to do with this process.
OMG where has this thing been all my life? The concept is kinda gross — mix up a saline solution in this little pot, then pour it into one of your nostrils and let it travel through your sinuses until it comes out the other nostril.
I said I know it’s gross. But it works.
The first time I did it, I felt like I was drowning. I’m not yet used to the feeling but man if I didn’t feel better immediately afterwards. Cleans all the pollen and what-not from your sinuses. It’s not sexy, but neither is wearing a face full of Vicks VapoRub when you go to the movies to see the Soloist — or at least that’s what I’ve heard.
Thanks D for the recommend. I’m breathin’ easy(er).
I’m gonna be honest. I don’t have much of an appreciation for national or regional landmarks, statues, etc. I live in Washington, D.C. and I pass by the monuments and museums everyday and I’m always like “Eh.” As I travel, I make it a point to go to all the neat touristy places I’m supposed to want to go, but I’m never excited by them.
A couple weeks ago, I went to Chicago for the first time. I stayed with my friend Montrelle and I loved, loved, loved the city. Check out the view he has from his balcony. This excited me.
You should have seen it at night...
When I was at his house, I spent most of my time out there. It was the perfect weekend. First time the weather broke for the spring. 70 degrees and sunny in April. Did I mention I loved it?
He also took me on an unofficial walking tour of the city. And don’t get me wrong, I was super grateful for it. He had worked all day and then walked miles with me. Took me to a great restaurant for dinner. He was an excellent host and guide. And the city was beautiful. But I just wasn’t as into the actual landmarks as I know I should have been. I made a quick little video. The audio’s not great b/c I left my video camera at home and had to shoot on my digital picture camera. But I think you’ll get the point.
A few days later I went to Missouri for a show at a college in Rolla, but I stopped off in St. Louis at the Gateway Arch because I’d never seen it. I called my Pop while I was there and he was like, “Well, what do you think?” And I was like, “Ummmm, it is definitely curvy. It’s making me hungry for McDonald’s french fries. I’m getting back in my car now.”
This is me in front of the Arch. You might not be able to tell because no one would take the photo for me. I had to do it myself and the angles… I thought Midwesterners were supposed to be nice.
Anyway, I was happy to have crossed the Arch off my list. But I didn’t feel fulfilled. People pack their families into station wagons and take vacations to see landmarks like this — well maybe not the Arch, but definitely the Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore… Is everyone secretly as unenthused as I am?
I didn’t think women were still “doing” knee highs and skirts.
This woman at Reagan National Airport proved me wrong.
Are you for real, lady?
Even if you hate pantyhose as I do, you just have to accept the fact that as a woman living in this society, you’re gonna have to wear things sometimes that aren’t comfortable. There is no excuse for this. I’m ashamed for her.
The answer: Because I can’t. My condo was refurbished from an old apartment building, so while it’s super cute and all the appliances were new when I moved in, I don’t have central air/heat. We have window units and radiators…
So just open the radiator, Erin.
Again, good suggestion.
My response: I could do that, but no heat would come out. A few weeks ago after a brief warm spell our property management company turned off the heat for the spring. And we can’t turn it on again because we were robbed by our previous property management company and as of right now are working on suing them and replenishing the reserve money they stole from us. In short, we cannot currently afford to turn the heat back on.
Yes, that is very project-ish — especially considering I pay a mortgage and association fees… I should not have to sit in my house with my oven open…
But I’m doing it. And don’t you dare judge me… I’ll clean my oven when I thaw out.
Sure the hat and scarf may be a little overly dramatic — but that’s what I do.
There are other factors contributing to my freezing my butt off and this cold I can’t get rid of. Reasons I won’t get into here. But I have a neighbors who are sick and many of us are wearing full-on winter outfits around the house and to bed (don’t worry about how I know ;). I have to go into the studio tonight and shoot 3 radio segments — I can’t breathe through my nose and I sound like crap. I know I sound like I’m whining, and I don’t mean it to come off that way. I was going more for PISSED OFF!!! Thank goodness for my Snuggies –Â and the fact that my place isn’t very big. When I cook in the summer I often complain about how hot the place gets. Today there are no complaints.
My upstairs neighbor Rafeal laughed at me last week when I told him about my oven warming. He said he hadn’t heard about anyone doing that in years. Sure, I feel like I climbed right out of an episode of Good Times…
I knew it was going to be bad when the key to the room was a key…
with the room number engraved right on it.
Convenient if you happen to forget which room you’re in, but not so convenient, as the hilarious Matt Kirshen pointed out, should you forget your key at the bar…
I was at an event where the host hotel billed itself as a “resort.” I beg to differ. $178 a nite for a hotel right out of 1960 and a room with no window, no thermostat, and no bath linens.
Where should I start?… How about the 4:15 check in time. Yes, you read right. I got there a little after 1 p.m. and figured at most I’d have to wait until 2 to check in. Nope 4 p.m. There were tons of other people waiting in the lobby too. I went back to my car and waited.
Then when I finally did get into the [tiny ass] room, it was FREEZING. I immediately started looking for the thermostat, but when I couldn’t find it after a few minutes I called down to the front desk for some help.”Are you in the big room or the small room?” the lady asked me. To which I replied, “I can’t imagine this is the big room, so I’m pretty sure I’m in the small one. It’s freezing in here.” She then went on to explain that the thermostat was controlled by the guests in the larger room attached to mine.
“So we have to agree on whether we’re hot or cold?”
“Well, yes ma’am. But there should be an extra blanket in the armoire.” Continue reading →
In addition to being the greatest mommy I’ve ever had, she is the comedic gift that keeps on giving. Today’s maternal hilarity comes courtesy of the charitable organization Locks of Love. If you’re not familiar with the organization they take donations of hair (10 inches minimum) in order to make wigs for people who are suffering from long term medical hair loss as a result of conditions such as alopecia and cancer.
My mom learned about L.O.L. on TV and decided that she wanted donate her hair. She’s been growing it for over a year. She talks all the time about the temptation to cut it because she likes her hair shorter, but she hasn’t done it because she was committed to growing her hair long enough for the donation.
All good so far, right?
Well, as my mom’s hair is pretty long now, she decided to check out the website for the submission guidelines — exactly how you collect the hair and send it in… and she learned that L.O.L. is only for children 18 and under.
Well, what’s the problem with that, Erin?
Glad you asked. Let’s see if you can figure it out for yourself. Below is a photo of me and my mom:
People often ask me where I get my sense of humor — if my parents are funny, what kind of household I grew up in… Below is the card and present my mom sent me for my birthday. And I’m gonna let you be the judge:
Notice her 'revisions'
She did not bother to buy a “from us” card. Not Linda Carol. She made one. And that is awesome! I’m gonna excuse the fact that her ‘editing’ resulted in some bad grammar (where we am) because it is hilarious ;)
I already told y'all my middle name is Rashida, so no need to comment on that.
This part isn’t actually that funny. It’s kind of become a little tradition of ours. She sent me a check for 31 dollars because I am turning 31. Last year she sent me 30 roses… you get the picture. My mom’s hilarious. Even when she doesn’t mean to be.
Love you Mommy. Thanks for making me! Oh yeah, and Daddy too ;)
