I love my mom.
In addition to being the greatest mommy I’ve ever had, she is the comedic gift that keeps on giving. Today’s maternal hilarity comes courtesy of the charitable organization Locks of Love. If you’re not familiar with the organization they take donations of hair (10 inches minimum) in order to make wigs for people who are suffering from long term medical hair loss as a result of conditions such as alopecia and cancer.
My mom learned about L.O.L. on TV and decided that she wanted donate her hair. She’s been growing it for over a year. She talks all the time about the temptation to cut it because she likes her hair shorter, but she hasn’t done it because she was committed to growing her hair long enough for the donation.
All good so far, right?
Well, as my mom’s hair is pretty long now, she decided to check out the website for the submission guidelines — exactly how you collect the hair and send it in… and she learned that L.O.L. is only for children 18 and under.
Well, what’s the problem with that, Erin?
Glad you asked. Let’s see if you can figure it out for yourself. Below is a photo of me and my mom:
Me and my favorite girl
Figure it out yet?
Yeah… hair loss or not, I don’t imagine there are too many 16 year olds looking for a gray wig. I could be wrong, but I’m guessing this is one of those “Thanks, but no thanks” kind of things. They take dyed hair so she could dye it black but she’d have to dye ‘her’ hair black to do that, so that wouldn’t work. She sent them an e-mail just to make sure she was clear and got this response:
Yes, we can accept donations of gray hair. Because we only provide hairpieces to children, we cannot use this hair in a hairpiece but will sell it to offset our manufacturing costs. You can find the rest of the hair donation guidelines and steps on our website– www.locksoflove.org
Hahaha… “sell it to offset our manufacturing costs.” Plus the way they put the Web address in there, it’s like they were passive-aggressively calling her the “b” word (at least that’s my interpretation). She asked me if I still thought she should do it, and I told her that depends on whether she wanted her hair sold on the ‘gray market.’ She decided she didn’t, and I made her a hair appointment for a couple weeks from now with a fabulous stylist in DC. Of course I told her that I’d do my best to get all my laughing at her out of my system before she gets here, but I wasn’t willing to make any promises ;) And in true funny mommy style she sent me the following e-mail:
I think you should cultivate that one and add it to your group of jokes where you encourage strangers to laugh at me.
Don’t try and make me feel bad for doing my job, Mommy. You grew your hair for a year and never looked at the rules. You brought this one on yourself ;)
Ha ha this was very funny Erin… i loved it i read it twice.
It doesn’t sound like Your Mom is making an intentional effort to be funny , Erin…just naturally hilarious. Whereas,My Mom was the Phyllis Diller of the day and would hold court after school with My friends and would have them in stitches .I swear the only reason they came over was to be entertained by Mom!lol! ( It didn’t hurt that she purposely exaggerated the facts to get a bigger laugh :).