I had an ex boyfriend who was a terrible complainer when he was sick. I remember having this conversation with him once:
ME: Would it make you feel better if I rubbed some Vicks on your chest?
HIM: No. But I think I’d feel better if you let me rub some on yours.
ME: But I’m not… Oh, wait… Freak.
Moving on… I have bad allergies. And I’m not great about taking my Flonase every day, so I often find myself really congested at nite. Thank goodness for my trusty jar of Vicks VapoRub. A little dab right under the nostrils and I’m breathing easy and drifting off to sleep in no time. I realized last nite though, that I can’t remember ever buying a jar of Vicks. Ever. In my whole life. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure (no BS) that the jar I’m currently using is the same jar my mom sent me off to college with. I posted about it on Twitter just as I was laying down last nite:
Turns out I’m not the only one. One Twitter friend sent me this photo of a Vicks jar that expired in August 2006 that he’s still using:
I have no idea what the expiration date was on my jar — it’s long since been vapo-rubbed off. But I’m willing to bet cash money that it was in the 20th century… Here’s the thing the folks at Vicks don’t understand: Putting an expiration date on something you don’t have to ingest that still works as advertised is not going to deter people from using it past that date. To paraphrase BFF Jenny, Vicks is like menthol Twinkies. And the jars are so large — who’s ever gotten to the bottom of a jar of Vicks? It’s a product I love and use often and I’ve only needed one of it my entire adult life. Booker T. Washington, I’m nowhere close to the bottom of my jar. I’m not sure how this is a lucrative business model for them. Maybe if they made it the size of ChapStick, or it started smelling like ass after the expiration date… but as it stands now, I don’t understand how they are getting any repeat business. ‘Cause anyone who’s getting to the bottom of a jar of Vicks on a regular basis is clearly on the verge of death and won’t be a customer for very long. I have no problem pointing this out to them because I clearly have enough Vicks on hand right now to will to my non-existent, future grandchildren. So if you work for the Vicks corporation or you know someone who does, feel free to pass this along to them. No charge. That’s what I’m here for.