Like “sitcom” stood up. Like “waiting at an empty bar, ‘No, bartender I’ll wait until my date gets here,’ checking for texts and voicemails in between games of cell-phone Solitaire” stood up.
I was working out of town over the weekend, and I was exhausted, but I woke up early yesterday to drive home so I could wash my hair and take a nap before this date. I put on makeup for this date. And heels. I missed Letterman on “Oprah’s Next Chapter” for this date. If not for wasting my time and messing with my sleep schedule, I’m at least owed an apology for that, right?
I met the stander-upper after one of my shows. He referenced my bit (below) about the guy who peed in front of me on a first date and then asked me out.
OK guys, I’m gonna attempt to chronicle my entire trip so I’m warning you — this is gonna be an epic. Read some now, come back later for the finale. Really, don’t try to read it all in one sitting — your boss is already looking over your shoulder right now. OK well then the least you could do is open up an an Excel spreadsheet or a MS Word file for quick toggle access in case you get caught … Do I have to do everything around here? Sheesh :)
So when my flight got into LAX on Sunday, I headed down to baggage claim and who did I see but my soon-to-be fast friend Steve. He asked me if I wanted him to hold up the sign so I could take a photo, but I told him no worries ;)
There was a really long wait between when we got to the carousel and when the bags were finally loaded so Steve and I spent some time getting to know each other. If you know me you know I like to get to know people and hear their stories — either that or I’m just way too nosey ;) Found out Steve grew up in Manhattan but had been in LA since he was 18. I told him I was from DC and he said that the last time he was in DC was for the March on Washington where Dr. King gave the “I Have A Dream” speech. Steve heard Martin Luther King, Jr. give the speech live. We talked about that some. Then we talked about Barack Obama. Steve was awesome. I wish he’d been the driver for the whole trip.
I stayed with good buddy Dawan Owens who moved out to LA about 2-and-a-half years ago to pursue his comedy and acting career. He’s done great out there and just bought the most adorable little house. The Ellen Show of course offered to put me up in a hotel, but I said “No thank you to that bridge to nowhere…” Oh wait… I mean, I said no thanks to the posh room in a fancy LA hotel. I’d rather kick D out of his bed and make him sleep on the couch ;) This is the part where I should probably insert a photo of this adorable house — but I didn’t take one. Boo for me ;(
After we watered the lawn (damn city condo living, I miss lawns… and being able to wash my car in my driveway) we went to the Hooters in Santa Monica where we had a waitress who totally could have been an SNL character. Think Molly Shannon on crack rock. But I digress… I turned in pretty early Sunday nite. Big day ahead. Continue reading →