Stood-up stand-up

I got stood up on a date last nite.

Like “sitcom” stood up. Like “waiting at an empty bar, ‘No, bartender I’ll wait until my date gets here,’ checking for texts and voicemails in between games of cell-phone Solitaire” stood up.


I was working out of town over the weekend, and I was exhausted, but I woke up early yesterday to drive home so I could wash my hair and take a nap before this date. I put on makeup for this date. And heels. I missed Letterman on “Oprah’s Next Chapter” for this date. If not for wasting my time and messing with my sleep schedule, I’m at least owed an apology for that, right?

I met the stander-upper after one of my shows. He referenced my bit (below) about the guy who peed in front of me on a first date and then asked me out.

“I can’t do any worse than that, right?” he said.


The worst date I never went on

Ok, so I know you regular readers are way familiar with my blogs about my Worst Date Ever. Ever (read pts. I and II). Well today, I come to tell you about the worst date I never went on. I’ve never written about something like this so soon after it happened — I usually wait for the heat to die down ;) But I couldn’t hold this one in… My hope is that if the other party in this situation comes across this, he’ll be too embarrassed to make a big deal about it…


Here’s the basic back story: About 2 months ago I was encouraged by a close friend to join an internet dating site. Admittedly disillusioned with dating in general and extremely wary of online dating specifically, I had some reservations. But in the end, I figured what could it hurt? I have a closet full of dresses and nowhere to wear them. Maybe it was time to meet some new folks… I was pretty passive about it — instead of checking out the matches I was sent, I just waited to see if anyone would contact me…

A few weeks ago, got a communication from a perfectly decent-seeming person. We exchanged e-mails thru the site for a while and then eventually thru Facebook. Seemed to be an intelligent guy with a good job, he was very handsome… Yesterday he sent me a message on Facebook asking if I’d like to meet. So I suggested that we meet for coffee or drinks somewhere… and here is the response I got:


You don’t have that kinda time? WTF? Are you dying? Continue reading →