I am so full.
“We have an obligation to fight for the world, as it should be.”
Yeah we do.
Thicker skin
The other nite at Nationals Park, I had a reporter ask my opinion on what the hardest or worst (I can’t remember exactly how she phrased the question) thing about comedy was. And my answer was that for me the hardest thing and the best, most awesome thing about comedy are one in the same.
Having to define and prove yourself on a nightly, shit, a minute-by-minute basis is not an easy thing to do. But it’s also what keeps you on your toes, working hard to get better, write better stuff… The 10:00 crowd doesn’t give a damn if you crushed at 8:00. If I can quote my favorite Miss Jackson, it’s a very “what have you done for me lately” kind of thing. But its also awesome that you start with a clean slate every show. I mean in what other kind of job does it not matter at all what you did just an hour before? “Oh so you lost a 5 million-dollar account? OK, well go have a few drinks and lets give it a go again when you get back.”
Doesn’t happen.
What I didn’t talk to her about is something I’ve had to deal with more and more recently… and that’s folks who go out of their way to say mean things in print or on the Web. It’s funny, I’ve always enjoyed reading celebrity entertainment blogs. But until you’ve had some really evil shit said about you by people you’ve never met and probably will never meet, you can’t really understand the impact that those blogs can have on the folks they’re ribbing. By no means do I mean to suggest that I’m anywhere close to being in the same league as some of the celebs that are talked about ad nauseum on those sites, but even way down here on the Z-list, there are folks who go to extraordinary lengths to say hurtful shit.
I’ve never been an outwardly emotional person, but I think the people in my life that know me well, know that I am affected a lot by those things. The more and more these incidents happen, the easier it becomes to deal with it. But there have been times when I’ve been brought to tears by something an anonymous poster wrote on a blog or a message board or a Youtube page.
Comedy, or maybe I should say the entertainment industry as a whole, has helped me to thicken my skin. Learning to hear and accept “No.” or “You’re not ____ enough.” or “You’re too ____” and not take it as a personal insult or an attack on your character can be tough. But I’m thankful for the lesson.
My friends are quick to call these writers and posters ‘haters’ and while I think that’s true (You see me… Hi hater), they’re also motivators. Sometimes when the comment won’t allow me to just ignore it, instead of responding with what my sarcastic comedic instincts beg me to write, I just post a simple “God bless you too.” or “Thanks so much for sharing your opinion.”
Katt Williams said it best I think:
E
How did you get into comedy?
It’s a pretty standard question every comic has answered at least a couple hundred times. ;) I was interviewed recently and got the chance to really reflect on it. And while I can cite tons of influential experiences and people (seeing Cosby live at the State Theatre in New Brunswick when I was in junior high, the Robert Townsend specials me and my cousin Mel used to sneak and watch in the middle of the nite, my Uncle Carl making me tell him a new joke every time I saw him, living with my Dad, who is quite possibly the most undercover silly person on the face of earth), there is one thing in particular that really set the wheels in motion:
About 5 years ago, I was seeing a pretty awesome guy. And one night we were on the phone having that “what would you do if you could have any job in the world” conversation. I won’t say what his was because I think he visits here from time to time and I don’t wanna have a fight on my hands ;) But I remember telling him that I would love to be a comedian. And instead of laughing or dismissing it, he asked me if I had ever tried it. At that point in time, that was just a ridiculous question to me. TRY it? No way! I don’t know how to be a comedian!
But then he was like hey, it’s not like you want to be an astronaut or something. You can do this. He asked what I was scared of and I remember saying, “What if I go somewhere and try comedy and I’m awful and people I know see me there? I’ll be so embarrassed.”
So the next day while he was at work, he went online and researched open mics in Baltimore. He sent me a bunch of listings and was like, we’ll go to Baltimore. You won’t know anyone, and if you stink we won’t tell anybody.
Sounded like a plan to me. But we never got that far. For reasons I won’t go into, he and I grew apart, but before we went our separate ways, I found (or he found and sent to me — I’m not 100% on this part anymore, but I like to think he found it ;) an ad for a stand-up comedy workshop at the DC Improv. I signed up for it and remember being so excited when I called to tell him. At the workshop I met and bonded with three other aspiring comics, one of whom Dawan Owens has since become one of my best friends on the planet. We didn’t really pick up much in the 1-day workshop but it was enough to have met each other and have other like-minded folks to bounce ideas off and encourage each other. After about a month of weekend writing sessions Dawan, another new comic named Ron, and I went to our first open mic. And the rest is history…
Nearly 5 years later ‘he’ has never been to a show, but whenever I do hear from him, he’s always super enthusiastic about my career… I’ll always be grateful to him and it just goes to show that you never know who might come into your life and change its direction. And you never know what you might be good at if you never try. All you can do is try to be open to new possibilities.
Live your dream.
E
What a week! Pt. 1 – LCS
Hey you guys! Just wanted to say thanks again to all the people who’ve reached out this week after LCS and Gotham. Having the two shows air on back to back days was awesome. My mom called me last nite and was like “What channel are you gonna be on tonite?” tee hee ;) TV run over for now, Ma. ;)
I’ve gotten messages from tons of *new friends* (I HATE the word ‘fan’) as well as some people I’ve admired for forever — I’m just blown they even know my name. Life is so strange. Of course I would have loved to advance in LCS… Not sure how I would have done in a house though. Y’all would have been like… Isn’t there a black girl on this show? Where is she? ;) … Hated the cameras…
See how this could become annoying? ;)
It’s funny that we were out there in Vegas for almost a week I think and they didn’t really air any of the stuff we shot. Not complaining though because they aired our entire sets.
Had a couple photos from Vegas I figured I’d share. Please note the shirt I have on in the photos is also the shirt I’m wearing in my most recent headshots, the header photo for this blog, etc. NBC wardrobe bought it for me, and I loved it. And when I got eliminated, I felt like I deserved to keep it. So I did ;) I wouldn’t call it stealing…
You might. But I wouldn’t.
Me and Louis Ramey — he swore he was smiling…
I call this one… “Me in a limo.”
Here’s me with Andi Smith and Erin Foley — the ladies in my semifinal — minus Shazi. Where WERE you girl in all my photos?
Me with the very funny and very adorable Jeff Dye. Poor Jeff, he’s being objectified all over the Internet ;) I may or may not have been squeezing his butt. I am part of the problem ;)
Gambling away my per diem at roulette after getting eliminated and washing all that damn makeup off my face. “Well, let me give you a word of advice. Always bet on black!” — Passenger 57
Yeah, son!
This was so dope, I called like 4 people while I was watching to see if they caught it.
Real.
A Phenom With Flaws
Below is an excerpt from Michael Gerson’s column in today’s Washington Post. Definitely worth reading the entire column. It gives a pretty objective look at his candidacy — its flaws and its high points — but also highlights the undeniable fact that Obama’s campaign has changed this country. I really enjoyed it. Hopefully you will too.
75,000 and one.
Is Barack Obama a weak presidential candidate or a strong one? The answer is: yes.
…As a result of all these factors, Obama and McCain are running fairly even in respected polls such as Gallup, alternately trading the lead by a few points — at a time of massive anti-Republican discontent during which Obama should be cleaning McCain’s clock.
Yet I cannot get two figures out of my mind — 75,000 and one. There were 75,000 attendees at Obama’s Portland, Ore., rally on Sunday — a monumental political achievement, found at the confluence of organization and enthusiasm. Obama does not merely talk of a new kind of politics; his charisma, story and tone symbolize a shift in political eras. Obama voters believe they are changing politics forever — a claim that Al Gore or John Kerry could never credibly make. At its best, this desire to break the dominance of politics-as-usual motivated support for John Kennedy and the New Frontier. At its worst, it motivated support for professional wrestler Jesse Ventura to be governor of Minnesota — he won nearly half of young voters in a three-way election. In either case, it is hard to bet against excitement and idealism.
The “one” is Mark McKinnon — a media adviser to McCain, a friend and former colleague of mine, a Texas Democrat who strongly supported George W. Bush, and a man of great decency and integrity. Early last year, he gave me a copy of Obama’s book “The Audacity of Hope” and said he had informed the McCain team that he could not help lead a general election campaign against Obama. This week, McKinnon kept his word by resigning (though remaining a strong “friend and fan” of the McCain campaign).
It is a reminder of something that Republicans — even in the busy strife of a campaign — should not forget or underestimate. Obama is a serious, thoughtful, decent adult who will attract the sympathy of other serious, thoughtful, decent adults. He has evident flaws, but the inspiration he evokes is genuine. His policy views are conventionally liberal, but his story is not a scam. And, in some ways, his election would finally make sense of an American story that includes Antietam and Selma.
The enthusiasm of many Republicans and conservatives to defeat Hillary Clinton would have come unbidden. Against Obama, it will come harder.
I want to want to skip
I was on the bus this morning and I was sitting behind this little girl and her mom. She had on a cute little plaid school uniform, a ponytail with ribbons in her hair (the little girl, not the mother ;). She was adorable. When they first got on, she asked if she could sit on the inside seat so she could pull the “stop” cord. And she was so excited when she got to pull it! Then when her stop came — “ an elementary school about a half mile from my house — she got off the bus, waved back to her mom and skipped down the sidewalk to the front door.
I used to skip.
But I don’t think anyone/thing/place excites me like that anymore.
And though I know it’d be wildly unsexy and probably just plain inappropriate for me to skip anywhere now, I kinda want to skip.
Or maybe I just want to want to skip.
I’ve heard older folks say stuff like “Enjoy your youth” or “I wish I could be a kid again.” But I’ve never really identified. Maybe it’s because I’ve never thought I was old. But this morning I found myself actually envying an 8 year-old. With all the crap going on in the world, this little girl has a place that makes her so happy she has to skip to get there; what filled my heart even more was that she was skipping to get to SCHOOL.
A little black girl in Southeast D.C. so excited about school she almost ran to get there. Why isn’t that the lead story on the news?
I feel like there’s so much more I could say about how I feel right now, but I think I wanna keep it for myself ;)