I’m wit cha, Miss Sophia a.k.a. Why Terrance Howard should just quit

On Monday, Oprah (Winfrey — in case you were wondering which Oprah I was talking about) had the entire cast of The Color Purple on her show. As a person who looks for ways to incorporate quotes from this classic into everyday conversation as often as possible, I was in heaven! Oprah is just showing off this last season — I can’t take it.

But I digress.

There are tons of great quotables in this film, but I think the scene below is one of — if not THE — most memorable scene from TCP:



OooohWeeee!!! Her emotion is palpable.

Well. This morning I was subjected treated to the trailer for the new movie “Winnie” based on the life of Winnie Mandela and starring Jennifer Hudson as the lead. And… Terrance Howard as Nelson Mandela? Word? For reals? I’m saying — I’m all for equal opportunity employment, but motion picture casting probably isn’t the ideal field for the visually and aurally impaired.

Please watch this trailer. PLEASE??!??? And we’ll discuss on the other side.

OK… So. OK… OK.

First off, have the people who made this film ever laid eyes on Nelson Mandela??!?? And secondly, was his South African accent not the absolute worst you’ve heard like EVER? Geez Louise, I’m baffled by the way actors and musicians from other countries can lock down the American accent to the point where you can’t even believe they’re not American when you hear them speak — Toni Colette, Idris Elba, Chiwitel Ejiofor, etc. But when American actors try to do any other accent it sounds utterly ridiculous.

Seriously, after the first day of shooting I can’t understand why they continued making this movie. I guess Jenny has enough Oscars already — so why not… But if I were directing or financing this film I’d have watched Terrance Howard’s first set of dailies and thrown in the towel. And then I would have beat the crap out of him with it like Joe Jackson did in “The Jacksons: An American Dream” for wasting my time and my money. I could go on and on about how bad this is gonna be, but I will simply leave you with this:

“I loves Jennifer Hudson, God knows I do. But you’d have to kill me dead ‘fore I go to the theatre to see this mess.”

Post Script: I have already vowed that I will not watch a single episode of “Law & Order LA” unless or until Terrance grows a mustache. It’s just unnatural for a grown ass Black man.

Amen.

From the Blog to the Stage: The only Black thing in Abercrombie & Fitch

Hey there y’all! I’m back with the second installment of my “From the Blog to the Stage” series. The post this bit is based on goes back a little further than the last one… Before you watch the clip, check out this post from January 20 (MLK Day, incidentally) about my visit to a local Abercrombie & Fitch. Good times.

Lemme know what you think? Is it a keeper? You get to decide. My act is in your hands.

Bubbles and My Color Purple moment

So I tripped up to NYC yesterday for an audition at good ‘ole Gotham. Treated myself to the train (only one way of course, I took the bus back). Had a pretty good nite. When I got to the club I went down into the smaller lounge showroom in the basement to clear my head and run thru my set a few more times… I was casually chatting with the owner of the club and a booker/producer friend I hadn’t seen in almost two years when in walks one Mr. Louis Ramey — one of my absolutest favoritest people!

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(That’s me and Lou. I promise, he really does like me … at least I think he does ;)

We met formally during this season of Last Comic, and were looking forward to clowning together for longer than the semifinal week we spent in Vegas, but the comedy gods had other plans. They sent me packing and he made it to the top five ;) But we’ve kept in touch and just thinking about some of the things he says off stage send me into spontaneous laughing fits ;)

Anyway, he saw me first. And when I looked up and our eyes met, it was like the scene at the end of The Color Purple when Nettie comes back to the farm with Celie’s kids and they’re reunited…

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We even played the same hand game. You think I’m kidding. But every Black person in this country knows the words: “Me and you us never part. Makidada. Me and you us have one heart. Makidada.” We did this. Repeatedly throughout the nite. I heart Louis. The other day I left a comment on his Myspace page asking him for a dollar. When I saw him last nite he handed me four quarters. What a guy! ;)

My show was at 8:30 in the main room and there were some great comics on the showcase: Mike Birbiglia, Arj Barker, Baron Vaughn, Nate Bargatze (one of my personal faves ;). I met a comic out of Boston called Joe Wong who had this hilarious bit about the test to become a US citizen. He’s a Chinese immigrant and he says one of the questions on the test was “Who is Benjamin Franklin?” His answer: The reason our convenience store got robbed. And then another question was “What is the second amendment?” His answer: The reason our convenience store got robbed. Or something similar to that. It was hilarious. I heart him too now.

I won’t bother you with the rest of the details of the nite, except to tell you that my 1:45 am bus didn’t leave until after 2:30 am. I got home at 7:15 and had to hop in the shower and be out the door again by 8:00. Exhale. I was dragging this morning, but as I was coming out of the Metro there was someone there blowing bubbles. There were bubbles everywhere and I immediately felt better. I don’t know what it is about bubbles but they take me back to an innocent time where I was completely carefree. I tried to catch the bubbles. I forgot that I was 30. ;)

I think I’m gonna buy some bubbles to keep around the house. I already have bubble wrap stashed in my hall closet. I pop it when I’m upset. It calms me down ;) Maybe anything that contains the world bubble is a good mood alterer for me. Maybe I should see a shrink. Perhaps I should buy some bubble gum. I’m so sleepy. I’m sorry you had to read this.