I’m wit cha, Miss Sophia a.k.a. Why Terrance Howard should just quit

On Monday, Oprah (Winfrey — in case you were wondering which Oprah I was talking about) had the entire cast of The Color Purple on her show. As a person who looks for ways to incorporate quotes from this classic into everyday conversation as often as possible, I was in heaven! Oprah is just showing off this last season — I can’t take it.

But I digress.

There are tons of great quotables in this film, but I think the scene below is one of — if not THE — most memorable scene from TCP:



OooohWeeee!!! Her emotion is palpable.

Well. This morning I was subjected treated to the trailer for the new movie “Winnie” based on the life of Winnie Mandela and starring Jennifer Hudson as the lead. And… Terrance Howard as Nelson Mandela? Word? For reals? I’m saying — I’m all for equal opportunity employment, but motion picture casting probably isn’t the ideal field for the visually and aurally impaired.

Please watch this trailer. PLEASE??!??? And we’ll discuss on the other side.

OK… So. OK… OK.

First off, have the people who made this film ever laid eyes on Nelson Mandela??!?? And secondly, was his South African accent not the absolute worst you’ve heard like EVER? Geez Louise, I’m baffled by the way actors and musicians from other countries can lock down the American accent to the point where you can’t even believe they’re not American when you hear them speak — Toni Colette, Idris Elba, Chiwitel Ejiofor, etc. But when American actors try to do any other accent it sounds utterly ridiculous.

Seriously, after the first day of shooting I can’t understand why they continued making this movie. I guess Jenny has enough Oscars already — so why not… But if I were directing or financing this film I’d have watched Terrance Howard’s first set of dailies and thrown in the towel. And then I would have beat the crap out of him with it like Joe Jackson did in “The Jacksons: An American Dream” for wasting my time and my money. I could go on and on about how bad this is gonna be, but I will simply leave you with this:

“I loves Jennifer Hudson, God knows I do. But you’d have to kill me dead ‘fore I go to the theatre to see this mess.”

Post Script: I have already vowed that I will not watch a single episode of “Law & Order LA” unless or until Terrance grows a mustache. It’s just unnatural for a grown ass Black man.

Amen.

The Book of Oprah

So… my mom has her cell phone hooked up via bluetooth thru the speakers in her car. But after learning about the No Phone Zone pledge and fearing the wrath of Oprah (as so many of us do) she called me to ask if it was still “OK” for her to use it.

“Oprah said we can’t hold the phone but she didn’t say we couldn’t talk into a speaker. That’s like talking to someone in the passenger seat. Oprah didn’t say we couldn’t talk people in the passenger seat, did she?”

Oh the hilarity… I laughed so hard.

But so many people I know have made the pledge not to text while driving, etc. because of Lady O. Just yesterday my best friend told me that whenever she’s driving in the car with her husband and she reaches for the phone he just says “Oprah” and she drops it like a hot potato. It’s kind of a shame that it took Oprah Winfrey telling us to for so many people to start obeying this law. I am (was) guilty of it myself. I spend a lot of time driving, but I have vowed to pull to the side of the road if there’s something I need to respond to immediately.

I don’t know what we’re gonna do when Oprah goes off the air… Who will encourage us to obey the law then? I shudder at the thought.