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Erin Jackson

metal detector

TSA Haiku

image

Ruby red grapefruit
I’ll get in line when I’m done
Please quit rushing me

I wont push your things
On to the conveyor belt
That’s your job homie

I just got felt up
My bra triggered the alarm
Was it good for you

December 6, 2013haiku, my travelsairport, bra, haiku, metal detector, TSA, underwire Leave a comment

Twitter Feed

  • about 5 days ago38 million people in this country have been fully vaccinated for COVID. 71 mil w/ at least one dose. And folks stil… https://t.co/qPw1vr3weS
  • about 1 week agoAchieving the delicate balance between hydrating sufficiently before a workout and drinking so much I have to cut i… https://t.co/30LG2hi3lx
  • about 1 week agoMitch McConnell told corporations to stay out of politics because "It's not what you're designed for." Which is anc… https://t.co/IouSkdXyJJ

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ejthecomic
Hey Instafam! I wanted to introduce you to the wor Hey Instafam! I wanted to introduce you to the world's most uncomfortable toilet. This toilet doesn't give a DAMBBBB about your comfort. This toilet came to DC for one reason, and one reason only-- to challenge The Big Chair to a duel (swipe 👈🏾 to slide 3 if you've never seen The Big Chair). All copies of the blueprints of this toilet need to be destroyed, and if time travel ever becomes a thing, my first stop will be the exact moment the designer of this toilet conceptualized this wretched contraption.
"This is my dance space. This is your dance space. "This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine." - Johnny Castle. • • • Sooooo many of y'all sent this to me yesterday, but I couldn't reply to you bc the comments were limited. But hell yes to all of these! I feel seen. Telling that joke on They Ready was one of the best decisions of my life lol. Reposting my Dear Abby letter in slides 2-6 for dessert. #SpaghettiArms
New math. New math.
Occupation. Occupation.
I bought a hairbrella. It's ridiculous and with th I bought a hairbrella. It's ridiculous and with the mask I look like a dollar store darth vader. But... my hair is dry.
A whole Word on this Sunday morning. #Gratitude A whole Word on this Sunday morning. #Gratitude
I hadn't been in NYC at night in over a year. Last I hadn't been in NYC at night in over a year. Last night felt like the first day of school w/ the @comedycellarusa family. Shaking off some of this rust before I head down to DC next weekend. Be smart and stay safe everybody!
TO THIS DAY (Deontay Wilder voice), I'm still buyi TO THIS DAY (Deontay Wilder voice), I'm still buying too many🍌🍌🍌. Pulling them apart never feels right. • • • Woke up to that too-sweet brown banana smell in my kitchen and made banana bread bc I didn't want to be wasteful. But I couldn't eat it because I would like to fit my pants again someday. So I dropped it off at my bestie's house to sabotage her. Reminded me of this one. Sorry, Les! #EJCrowdWork
Next week!!!! If you're in the DC/MD/NoVA area, co Next week!!!! If you're in the DC/MD/NoVA area, come check out me, @parissashay & @lafayette247 (and maybe a special guest or 2!) at the @dcimprov Grand Re-opening April 15-17. Ticket link in my bio or at dcimprov.com!
Don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch another Don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch another @verzuztv battle here on Insta. This full-screen HD on Triller is the business. Tonite is everything. THANK YOU @therealswizzz and @timbaland!!! Proud to be a semi-old head.
Listen. That second vaccine dose laid me out. In f Listen. That second vaccine dose laid me out. In fact, I remain semi "laid." But guess what??? Getting COVID could have been far worse. Knowing I have done my part to protect myself and the people I love and help this country heal (and get folks like me back to work) makes me proud. I felt like it was my responsibility as a member of a society. Please get vaccinated. And if you refuse to, at least don't spread baseless conspiracy theories about why other people shouldn't. <whisper>But for real, get vaccinated.</whisper> P.S. if anything in this post led you to believe that these comments are a good place to debate me, I assure you that you read it wrong.
I have things I need to get accomplished today, bu I have things I need to get accomplished today, but I started @dawniewalton's 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘙𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘖𝘱𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘦𝘷 before dawn and I cannot put it down. I set an alarm ⏰ to pause and go do work but I keep resetting it. Noon. At noon I'll work. Or maybe 1. Or when I'm done. #BooksMadeOfPaper
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Twitter Feed

  • about 5 days ago38 million people in this country have been fully vaccinated for COVID. 71 mil w/ at least one dose. And folks stil… https://t.co/qPw1vr3weS
  • about 1 week agoAchieving the delicate balance between hydrating sufficiently before a workout and drinking so much I have to cut i… https://t.co/30LG2hi3lx
  • about 1 week agoMitch McConnell told corporations to stay out of politics because "It's not what you're designed for." Which is anc… https://t.co/IouSkdXyJJ
© 2021 Erin Jackson