Yesterday I tripped out to Lewes, DE to perform at the Delmarva Blue Crab Festival. Yes, you read right. Good bud comedian Kelly Terranova invited me out to perform with him and I said sure. In the last post I mentioned that I was gonna try to go to Rehoboth… Yeah… Since the Friday show was cancelled, I went up Saturday morning with every intention of spending the first part of the day at the beach. Showtime was 4pm. Left DC, hopped on 50 East… no traffic. Came up on the Bay Bridge… no traffic. Got on 404… no traffic. It looked like my first beach day in years was actually about to be pretty sweet. It wasn’t 100+ degrees like its been all week. The high for the day was supposed to be like 82. Perfect.
So I’m on Rte. 1 in DE and I pass the Crab Festival. OK, now that I know where it is, I’m gonna just go on to the beach, pull out my chair, read my book and be back for showtime. But as soon as I passed the festival grounds, I hit a brick wall… I’m like 10 miles from Rehoboth and I swear I sat in the same exact spot, with my car in park, for like 45 minutes. Boo.
I never made it to the beach y’all… which stinks cause I was so close. But I did get to witness firsthand the gentile dining habits of blue crab enthusiasts. I myself have never eaten a crab that wasn’t in a crab cake or a bisque. I dabble in seafood every now and then but I’m scared to go full throttle because of a childhood allergy to shellfish that I may or may not have outgrown. But I’m up on stage and it almost made me ill to see the audience picking those crabs apart. Man, there was this older white woman in the front — she would have done my grandma proud. Grandma wasn’t having it if you left any chicken meat on the bone. This lady would have been able to teach her a few things. Not to be judgemental — but hey, whatever, I AM me after all — I can’t understand how you can eat in muck like that.
And believe me, that’s not nearly the worst photo I took. It’s just the only one I could bear to post. And as if the crab picking weren’t enough, the mallet-banging to get to the crab meat… Let’s just say that there might be a more distracting thing to do during a comedians set — but I have no earthly clue what it could be. I just told the audience that whenever they banged I was gonna take it as an endorsement of the joke I was telling. But then that quickly got out of hand b/c then whenever they liked something they banged on the table INSTEAD of laughing. Maaaan… :)
All that said, it was a good time. The people enjoyed the show. They had a good time, we got paid, and really isn’t that what it’s all about? It was just a very interesting day.