The Category: Things that should not be sold at Lane Bryant

The Question: What are leopard ‘skinny’ jeans?

Some things just shouldn’t exist in a size 28. I mean, I’m not really fond of leopard bottoms in any size. But this was an LB in Jersey (#AllLeopardEverything), so I understood. But just because you can make these jeans doesn’t mean you should. And just because you can fit them doesn’t mean you should buy them… Do you hear me, sistren? We know better. And when you know better, you do what, Oprah?

Thanks for the lesson, Maya.

Also, who are we fooling by calling these “skinny jeans?”

I’m puffy so I can say that.

The end.

Cereal bowls and skinny jeans

Everything is relative.

I just got off the phone with BFF Angi who has a 1-year old and finally got back into her skinny jeans! HOORAY for her!!! She’s always been athletic (In fact, she was named as one of the 50 Greatest ACC athletes of all time) and is back down to her fighting weight of 120 pounds. Gee An, I probably should have asked before I posted that, but I’m probably gonna add this to the act and talk about it in front of hundreds of strangers every nite anyway, so try not to be mad.

Funny thing is even when she told me what her heaviest weight was, it still sounded tiny to me because literally, she’s half my size… So I said to her,

“You know, if we were a cereal commercial, it would take 2 bowls of Angi to equal 1 bowl of EJ.”

<i>It takes 4 bowls of Corn Flakes...</i>

It takes 4 bowls of Corn Flakes...

She immediately knew what I was talking about and we couldn’t stop laughing. Sh!t, I still can’t… It’s funny because it’s true. This is why I’m still going hard with GF’09. Wish me luck!