Hey, Stu!

There have been a lot of changes in my life recently — the most important of which resulted in my recently becoming a landlord. Ugh. The idea of turning over my super-cute, immaculately (yes, immaculately) maintained home to someone I don’t know frightened the you-know-what out of me. It was a necessary move, and I did everything I could to prepare my place and accommodate my tenant during her move. But the fact remains that you never know what kind of situation you’re gonna end up with. I have friends who’ve had amazing renters that they hoped would never leave, and I have friends who ended up with horror-story tenants they wanted to evict immediately.

I’m not sure yet which type I’ve got. But I can say that I’ve already experienced things that make me appreciate the above scene from Coming to America in a completely new way. Perhaps this landlord is just frustrated and misunderstood. I mean, the mortgage and utility bills for the building are due the same time every month, Stu — regardless of when you decide to pay your rent. And now you gon’ try to sue me for personal injury?

Child, please. You lucky you didn’t get pushed down the stairs!

Pray for me y’all that this experience is a pleasant one, and that I don’t end up turning into this guy. But if I do, then please pray that the jokes are funny.