With enemies like that…

I see this commercial about shingles all the time. So glad my dad was wrong and I don’t have it. It sounds like a terrible condition. The reason I bring it up is because at the end of this commercial, the guy says, “The rash, the itching, the burning that I experienced on the side of my neck and my shoulders, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

Yeah… whenever I hear someone say that, I think to myself, “You suck at enemy-ing.” Wishing painful things on each other is what enemies do. It’s literally in the definition:


noun \ĕn’ə-mē\

1. One who feels hatred toward, intends injury to, or opposes the interests of another; a foe.


You think after losing his family, being made a slave and having to fight a tiger, Maximus wouldn’t have wished a little shingles on Commodus? That when Lex Luthor had that Kryptonite all up in his face, Superman didn’t wish the tables were turned?

But I digress. What kind of things do these people wish for their enemies? Do they wish painful things on them, but just not as painful as shingles? Do they draw the line at broken limbs maybe? Kidney stones? Or are they just awesome people who abide by the “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” scriptural philosophy…? And if it’s the latter, how can I swap out my current enemies for ones like them? Because I know for a fact I’ve got some folks out there wishing their horrible sh*t and their mama’s on me.

With enemies like dude in the video, who needs friends?