And while I am grateful to have made it thru another year, I always dread this day because I know that inevitably there will be a disaster of some sort. Today started off great. My parents drove up to take me out to a very nice lunch and I almost fooled myself into believing that this was the birthday that was going to break the curse… But after being out all afternoon, I needed to use the restroom. We were almost back at my house, so I thought everything was cool. But when we got home, my mom went into the bathroom first. No problem, I can wait… WELL, while she was in there she apparently locked the door for some reason and then pulled it tight behind her… So now I can’t get into the bathroom. 7 years I’ve lived in the same apartment, I have NEVER locked myself out of the bathroom. My dad tells me to go get my tool box — which incidentally is a ZIPLOCK bag with a hammer and three rusty screwdrivers in it — and after about 20 minutes of fiddling with it (we took the doorknob off, etc.) we realize that we’re gonna have to call a locksmith to get into the bathroom.
So now I’m like OK… this is my birthday disaster. I can deal with this. So while we’re waiting for the locksmith, I go into the kitchen to finish off my birthday cake from lunch and I notice some water dripping from the ceiling. I run upstairs to my neighbor and find out that her washing machine is leaking into my cabinets… FABULOUS… The after-hours maintenance guy from my apartment complex basically insinuates that it’s my fault that my neighbor’s washing machine is leaking. “Did you tell her to turn the washing machine off?” he asks… Really? Is that how you’re going to solve this problem, cuz I didn’t think of that one. I told her to just finish her “whites” and we’ll worry about my groceries later…. PUHLEEEZ. Then we (and by “we” I mean my mom) ended up having to pay $85 for a locksmith to let me into my bathroom so I could do what you do in a bathroom… I’ll tell you what. This rivals the $85 I spent on that cheeseburger on the Jersey Turnpike (see earlier entry) and the infamous “Spider/broken glasses/ripped contact lens/overflowing toilet story” that many of you know so well. It just keeps on getting better.
Happy Birthday to me.