Yeah, so I don’t have a lot to say today, but the incomparable Larry Poon told me that I should update my journal more often, so here goes…
Pt. 1 – Garanimals

I didn’t realize they still made Garanimals. I wonder why they never made them for adults??? Life was so much easier when all you had to do was roll out of bed, match up your Charlie the Chimp tops and bottoms and head out the door. I think it’s time we petition for adult Garanimals. It would save tons of time in the mornings, we could all sleep in a little later… I think it’d be cool if they added a Big & Tall Garanimals line too, cuz how funny would it be to hear a 6’4″ 300-pound man ask, “Honey, have you seen my Paulie the Panda’s? We have that thing with my boss tonite and I really want to look sharp…”

What if it really caught on? Can you imagine what it’d be like on the red carpet at the Oscars?
Interviewer: Beyonce, you look fabulous! Who are you wearing?
Beyonce: Oh this? this is Lisa the Llama… and I set it off with a Mindy the Mink stole and some Gina the Gator pumps…

That would be hot.

Pt. 2 – Rolling briefcases

I think people who use rolling briefcases on the subways should be arrested. Really, if you’ve got so much work that you need a wheelbarrow to carry it all, you should quit your job — or at least drive there. I’m sick of people rolling over my toes, tripping me up and making me miss trains because they’re dragging their luggage thru the subway station. And hey, if you absolutely must roll your bag around, learn to be OK with the fact that you look like an idiot. Don’t look at me like I’m crazy when I look at you like you’re crazy. You’re the lazy one, not me.

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