I understand that I live in the hood, but there are some things that are even too hood for the hood. On Saturday afternoon – no lie – I saw a Cadillac creeping down a major street in my neighborhood with pictures of ice cream and popsicles all over the doors and panels… I didn’t actually see the driver selling any candy or ice cream, but I can only assume he was driving around with the intent to distribute. I watch Law and Order. You can go to jail for that.

Now, maybe he’s the regular Ice Cream Man and his white van was in the shop, but there have got to be some vendor restrictions that prohibit people from just turning any old car into an ice cream truck. Selling Rocket Pops out of an old Caddy is not just unsanitary, it’s a little creepy. Plus, how in the hell does he keep all his goodies frozen while he drives around all day? I have a hard time keeping my ground beef frozen if I make more than one stop on the way home from the grocery store.
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All that to say, if you happen to see one of these Ice Cream Caddy’s in your neighborhood, report it to the police, or at least the health department. You don’t want to be responsible for your kids getting turned out by a Popsicle Pimp.

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