Roasting chestnuts with my baby a.k.a. Happy Birthday Jesus

I don’t like new Christmas songs.

You know what I mean? Christmas songs that were created for the sole purpose of pushing the artist’s latest Christmas CD. I don’t know, I guess I’m a Christmas carol purist. Oh Holy Night. The First Noel. O Come All Ye Faithful… That’s more my speed. I don’t wanna hear what “you and your baby” did by the fire on Christmas Eve. Sorry.

I get that there are only a limited number of Christmas classics and that hearing every artist do the same songs could get tired quick. But think about it… Have you ever bought a Christmas CD where the artist sang original songs that you enjoyed?…

Well, have you?

I’m just saying, you at least gotta mix it up. Mariah Carey’s “Merry Christmas” is — if I’m not mistaken — the best-selling Christmas album of all time.

Mariah Carey aka my dad's imaginary girlfriend

My dad has bumped that CD every year from Thanksgiving Day thru New Years since 1994. Promise. (BTW, if you’ve seen the act lately, that bit I do about Mariah Carey and my dad’s funeral is COMPLETELY true ;) I can’t recall if there are any original Christmas songs on this album — but I do know that if there are, she had enough sense to bury them deep between “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” and “Joy to the World.” And I’m not saying that all Christmas songs need to come straight out of a church hymnal. There are plenty of secular songs that I think we can all agree are a part of The Christmas tradition. And yes I’m aware of how “secular songs” being part of the Christmas tradition sounds… Probably wasn’t the best choice of words, but you know what I mean. “The Christmas Song” is not a religious song but it’s probably the most famous one. And even the most devout, anti-Christmas-commercialism Christians tap their feet when they hear Donny Hathaway’s “This Christmas.”

That song can make you feel good in the middle of July.

I’m just saying I heard an awfulΒ “Christmas” song on the radio a few minutes ago. And I don’t know who sings it, but when I find out, I’ll be sending him a very opinionated note!

Happy almost birthday, Jesus!