As a woman, I must admit that it’s nice to receive compliments from men. Every girl likes to feel special every now and then. But as a very single woman, I feel obligated to let married and otherwise involved men know that compliments/flirtatious remarks that begin with or contain the phrase. “If I were single…” are often counterproductive.

I’m a big fan of flirting — I’m a huge flirt myself. But every time someone says something like that to me, I’m tempted to reply with something like, “Hey, take my number anyway… you know, in case something happens to her. Life can be a bitch. I wouldn’t want you to *get* single and not be able to get in touch with me.”

The other nite after a show this guy walked up to me and said, “You have an amazing smile. I think you’re beautiful. If I were single I’d totally ask you out.”

And I was thinking, “Thanks so much, dude. But if you were single and asked me out, I’d totally turn you down. Your marriage is not what’s keeping us apart. Trust me.”

Think how much more awesome it would have been if he’d just said, “You have an amazing smile. I think you’re beautiful. Good night.”

Now, I don’t want to discourage men — whatever their marital status — from throwing a compliment or two in the direction of a woman they find attractive. But on some “The More You Know” PSA type ish, I just wanted to let you fellas know that you can not only achieve the desired flattery, but you can literally leave a woman blushing and make her day by just letting the compliment — whatever it is — stand on its own.

I don’t know if this was helpful to anyone. But I sure feel better ;)

You’re welcome.

2 thoughts on “Complimenting 101: This one’s for the fellas

  1. The Socialite

    I love getting complimants from guys! However, one time I was in a bar and this guy comes up to me and says that he thinks I am beautiful and if he wasn’t here with his girl he would holla. I smirked and looked the other way. The first thing that came to mind was dog, then jerk, then I feel bad for his girl. I started thinking about what my so called boyfriend might do when he is alone….

  2. Erin

    Scary, huh? But I hear you… I would put my imaginary boyfriend out on the street if he ever did anything like that ;)

    A friend of mine pointed out that this post sounds like I’m giving advice to men in relationships about how to be better players ;) That wasn’t my intent, hope no one else thought that. I just meant that with harmless flirting some men have good intentions, but often get it wrong.

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