OK… so I understand that what I’m about to write is extremely corny and that it should embarrass me.

It doesn’t. But I understand why it should.

And I understand that everyone doesn’t use Myspace for self-promotion. Even famous people. Some folks use it just to stay in touch with people they already know.

Totally get it.

But one of my favorite singers doesn’t accept friend requests from comedians and doesn’t allow messages from people he’s not friends with. Which leads me to believe that he actually manages his own page. All the more reason for me to want to send him the message I spent nearly 20 minutes drafting prior to being brickwalled by his privacy settings. I reference him in my ‘Music Interests’ section on my page… I own every single one of his albums, and I actually bought all but one of them (just being honest — sista is on a budget). And I refuse to allow myself to consider the fact that he doesn’t care that I heart him because… well because that would be awful.

So in the wake of the worst Myspace catch-22 ever, here’s my question — How do I get Rahsaan Patterson to be my friend? And does my burning (yes, burning) desire to make him my Myspace friend mean that I’m a huge loser?

(Please note that I only really want an answer to the first part of that question.)

I’m a good friend, Rahsaan. Really I am.

Also the message that comes up on Myspace… “Rahsaan Patterson does not accept friend requests from ‘comedians'” really made me feel like no matter what my page category was, he’d still deny me. Seriously, in my head, I just imagined a nice pleasant operator voice saying, “We’re sorry. Rahsaan Patterson does not accept friend requests from…” And then some really harsh computer generated monster robot voice saying “Co-me-di-ans.” I feel like if my page was categorized as ‘puppies and angels’ it still would have denied me :(

Pleasant operator lady: We’re sorry. Rahsaan Patterson does not accept friend requests from…

Mean monster robot madlib-filler-inner: PUP-PIES and AN-GELS OR ANY-THING ELSE YOU COME UP WITH SO WHY DON’T U GET A LIFE E-RIN JACK-SON.

OK, I’m gonna go try and muster up some self esteem.

EJ. Out.

6 thoughts on “Why won’t you be my friend, Rahsaan Patterson?

  1. Erin

    Stalker? Me? Hahaha. I know I sound like a FAN-atic, but really I’m just a fan ;) I guess it’d be a little much if I asked my girl Dana to ask him to be my friend, huh? Thanks a lot Ian ;)

  2. Pingback: Friends… Finally. ;) at You’re Welcome…

Leave a Reply to Ian Salmon Cancel Reply