Washington | Erin Jackson | Stand-Up Comedian

Pick your battles

So I went to CVS this afternoon — my first time in a store since the New Year. And for all my online complaining, I totally forgot about the city’s new shopping bag tax. I bought a quart of Listerine and a water pik and when theÂ cashier asked me if I’d like to buy a bag, I reflexively answered, “NO!”

Because the principle of paying for bags just seems ridiculous to me. Sure I had more stores to visit and I looked like I just boosted half the oral hygiene aisle… but I was proving a point to the DC City Council (via a cashier none of themÂ will ever meet who probably laughed her ass off when I left the store).

Exhale.

I recognize that this measure is supposed to help the city become greener and raise money for the cleanup of the Anacostia River — both good things. I just do not heart it. That being said, I’ll either be going out real soon to buy some large reusable bags or I’ll be bringing my own ‘lightly worn’ plastic bags (I’ve been stockpiling them for years) with me when I shop. Because my little protest accomplished nothing except for making me look a hot damn mess.

I’m learning to pick my battles. Haha, and there’s nothing I can do about this.

PHI 16, DAL 20

Well…

I’ve been to my two NFL games for the season so this week I was back at Rhino Bar in Georgetown to take in the game with a couple hundred of my best compadres…

I brought my friend and neighbor Toiya with me. She’s a Dallas fan and I explained to her that she’d be walking into the belly of the beast, but she still wanted to go, so of course I obliged. It was like bringing my own little mini-game to the game ;)

Me and Toiya before things got ugly

The woman sitting next to me at the bar was drinking her beer with a straw. After a few swigs, I couldn’t take it. There was a small group of us around her (men and women) who were just staring at her, and before long we decided she needed an intervention. Come, come girlfriend…

As a woman who loves both football and Yuengling I tried to explain to her that her actions were a poor reflection of ‘our kind’ and would only serve to further the stereotype that women don’t take sports — or beer — seriously. She didn’t surrender completely, but she agreed to use a smaller straw — more like a cocktail straw — which actually made the whole thing worse… But I watch A&E and I’ve learned that sometimes it takes 2, 3, maybe even 4 or 5 times to get thru to someone that needs help.

If I see her there next week I will try again. Because I care about people. Continue reading →

WaPo reads this blog… Way cool! ;)

So the WaPo Express Blog Log, picked up yesterday’s blog about my (ahem) ‘blunt’ psychic reading. That’s my quote up in the top left corner (that’s me in the spotlight… losing my religion. Literally. My Dad would freak if he knew I visited a psychic. Good thing he doesn’t read my blog)… Did you read it? If not, all you gotta do is scroll down a little bit. Haha… It’s kinda funny if I do say so myself. Thanks to Leon for letting me know about it. Since I don’t commute to anywhere besides my living room I don’t ever really see the Express.

Arches and beans and tall buildings, OH MY!

I’m gonna be honest. I don’t have much of an appreciation for national or regional landmarks, statues, etc. I live in Washington, D.C. and I pass by the monuments and museums everyday and I’m always like “Eh.” As I travel, I make it a point to go to all the neat touristy places I’m supposed to want to go, but I’m never excited by them.

A couple weeks ago, I went to Chicago for the first time. I stayed with my friend Montrelle and I loved, loved, loved the city. Check out the view he has from his balcony. This excited me.

You should have seen it at night...

When I was at his house, I spent most of my time out there. It was the perfect weekend. First time the weather broke for the spring. 70 degrees and sunny in April. Did I mention I loved it?

He also took me on an unofficial walking tour of the city. And don’t get me wrong, I was super grateful for it. He had worked all day and then walked miles with me. Took me to a great restaurant for dinner. He was an excellent host and guide. And the city was beautiful. But I just wasn’t as into the actual landmarks as I know I should have been. I made a quick little video. The audio’s not great b/c I left my video camera at home and had to shoot on my digital picture camera. But I think you’ll get the point.

A few days later I went to Missouri for a show at a college in Rolla, but I stopped off in St. Louis at the Gateway Arch because I’d never seen it. I called my Pop while I was there and he was like, “Well, what do you think?” And I was like, “Ummmm, it is definitely curvy. It’s making me hungry for McDonald’s french fries. I’m getting back in my car now.”

This is me in front of the Arch. You might not be able to tell because no one would take the photo for me. I had to do it myself and the angles… I thought Midwesterners were supposed to be nice.

Anyway, I was happy to have crossed the Arch off my list. But I didn’t feel fulfilled. People pack their families into station wagons and take vacations to see landmarks like this — well maybe not the Arch, but definitely the Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore… Is everyone secretly as unenthused as I am?

Or am I just a bad American?

Redskins Inferiority Complex

Thanks to Kenny for spotting this license plate on his way to work this morning and sending it over. Even though I’m a little sore at my team’s front office, I gotta defend them against these delusional Redskins fans. Y’all some haters ;)

No they don't! Well maybe we will... but that is yet to be seen, so stop being a hater.

No they don't! Well maybe we will... but that has yet to be determined, so stop being a hater.

OK so maybe I’m a LITTLE obsessed with the Snuggie…

OK, so I was in my favorite store (CVS) tonite — as I am most nights — and as I was looking for some mailing labels, I came across Snuggies for sale on the value aisle…

I'm not a tattle-tale, but...

Now, I was under the impression that Snuggies weren’t available in retail stores — that they could only be ordered through their official website. But apparently I was wrong. That or CVS is bootlegging Snuggies, in which case I apologize profusely for this post — I’m not trying to get you caught out there C-to-the-V…

All my friends know how much I love CVS. I’m always letting them know about the deals I find — trying to convert the non-believers. Please see the text convo between me and my girl Sandi:

—— SMS Text ——
To: 617*******

Omg, they sell snuggies at cvs. I just bought one. 14.99 now I’m ready for the pub crawl… Hooray!!!

—— SMS Text ——
From: 617*******
Sent: Mar 16, 2009 6:15 PM

Haha. Cvs really does have EVERYTHING!

—— SMS Text ——
To: 617*******

I been trying to TELL you…

—— SMS Text ——
From: 617*******
Sent: Mar 16, 2009 6:17 PM

I’ll never doubt you again.

Anyway, as you know I already have a custom NFL fleece Snuggie, made for me by my girl DWJ…

My Eagles Snuggie!

But I couldn’t pass up the chance to pick up the authentic Snuggie. Because I really want to attend the Snuggie Pub Crawl in DC and I’m not sure if you can do it without an official Snuggie… I’m getting a little discouraged though because I’ve still yet to be notified when the DC Snuggie Pub Crawl is taking place. I joined the mailing list, but we’re almost out of Snuggie weather so I’m wondering if they’re gonna nix some of the cities.

And yes, I’m so serious. First, they’re donating proceeds from the event to charity (or at least they better be!!!) And second… do you know how HILARIOUS that would be?!? I would do a two-camera shoot and recruit a crew of correspondents and hit the streets. Talk about a video blog that writes itself. Drunken Snuggie Monks roaming the Cap City. Man oh man… I really hope I get the chance.

I couldn't resist... $14.99 <i>AND</i> the book light. CAMMAN!

I couldn't resist... $14.99 AND the book light. CAMMAN!

Anyway, that’s me in my new Snuggie. Don’t be a hater. You know who you are ;) Holler.

Johnny Walker ‘Blue’ my mind

I’ve been a little backlogged with some of the Obama foolishness posts, so there may be a few coming back to back. And thanks you guys for sending this stuff in! OK…Â so let’s start at the end. And by ‘the end’ I mean the ‘end of humanity.’

There is a wine shop in DC that is selling “Obama-Engraved Johnny Walker Blue Label’ bottles.

So YES…

If you’ve been looking for a way to commemorate this historic occasion with a $180 fifth of scotch, here’s your [Dear God I hope it’s the only] chance.

Jesus, please be a liquor store fire.

We’re guessing Johnny Walker Blue Label because… blue… Democrats… But whatever the rationale, this is pure foolishness.

B-I-N-G-O: Sit your Nellie ass down!!!

So tonite me and some friends went out to Drag Bingo at Nellie’s Sports Bar in DC. I’ve been hearing about it forever but tonite was my first time going. My friend Titi had never been either. We got there early and got a head start on the drinks and the wings ;) We were out celebrating our friend Ebone’s (she’s the one cheesing below ;) leaving her day job to pursue her own performance and event promotion career. She’s super-talented so Hooray for Ebone!!!

I knew right away I was gonna love Drag Bingo because before the game began, they gave out several containers of bubbles to every table… and y’all KNOW how much I heart bubbles...

The hostess for the evening was Shi-Queeta-Lee (below). Shi-Queeta is an awesome performer in her own right. In fact a couple years back, I did a Women’s History Month show with her at American University. She does a MEAN Tina Turner impression. And in those heels too — I need to see if she can help me learn how to walk in my new Joan & David’s…

The photo below is of the second host, but I didn’t catch her name. She was so dope though. Continue reading →