Your mom doesn’t want to hear jokes about your sex life, even if the joke is that you don’t have one…

It’s true.

I know cause I sent my mom the link to my Live at Gotham preview (http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=167549) the other day, and she never responded to the e-mail. Her only daughter on TV… almost… and she has no comment. Strange-o, huh?

I thought so, so I called her and was like, “Hey, Ma. Did you watch that video clip I sent you?” And she said, “Yes.” And I said, “Well what did you think?” And she says, “Who did your makeup? It looked good.”

Ummm… was that an answer to the question? Me thinks not.

So then I said, “They had professional makeup people there.  What did you think of the clip, though?” And then she said, “They liked it.” Of course since you were not privy to her tone, I feel the need to clarify that ‘they’ is a reference to the club full of heathens that laughed at a joke about me not having sex and the virgin birth.

Whatevs, Ma. You gotta loosen up.

Her selective prudishness cracks me up sometimes… That’s why I took complete pleasure in catching her off guard this afternoon. I got my tax stimulus check in the mail and called to tell her (I was under the assumption that I wasn’t gonna get one at all). Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Guess what, Ma?

My Ma: What?

Me: I got stimulated

My Ma (almost inaudibly): Oh… OK. By what…?

Me: Haha… I mean I got my tax stimulus check from the IRS.

My Ma: Oh good, because I didn’t know how to respond to that.

I heart her. THE END