Top Shelf All-Star

I am a huge Top Chef nerd.

So this past week while I was in Philadelphia working at Helium Comedy Club (which was super fun by the way. Thanks to all of you who came out the the shows), I made it my mission to dine at Philly’s 10 Arts Bistro & Lounge by Eric Ripert where the fabulous and feisty Jennifer Carroll is the chef de cusine! I mean, wow! How could you not heart Jen, especially after this meltdown a few weeks ago on Top Chef All-Stars:

The restaurant is in the lobby of the Ritz Carlton Philadelphia and it’s beautiful.

I went for lunch. Because I’m poor. And they had a more affordable (albeit small) lunch lounge menu. I ordered a mini striped bass burger with fennel, oven-dried tomato and saffron aioli, their hand-cut fries and one of their signature cocktails. Sidebar, why is everything miniature in fancy restaurants? For their prices, they should be twice as big… Or maybe that’s just the puffy girl in me talking.

I had the Blackberry Manhattan — muddled fresh blackberries with Jim Beam Red Stag and Grand Marnier. It. was. amazing! Yummy to the tenth power. But no exaggeration, I was wasted after two sips. I love Red Stag but I knew if I finished that drink I’d probably still be drunk by showtime 4 hours later.

I love you Blackberry Manhattan. I will come back for you someday…

I had to take a photo of the drink menu so I could attempt to make it at home when I had a lighter schedule. But the former proofreader in me couldn’t help but notice all the typos. They spelled ‘Jim Beam’ wrong. They spelled ‘Captain Morgan Spiced Rum’ wrong. They spelled ‘Woodford Reserve’ wrong. At first I thought it was some high end find-the-spelling-errors-in-the-liquor game (and it may very well be). But then I realized they spelled ‘Ciroc vodka’ correctly. My friend Damo said that it was racial because they misspelled all the dark liquors and spelled the white liquor correctly.

I marvel at his ability to manufacture racist motivations where there don’t appear to be any. It’s truly an amazing skill.

For dessert I had the pumpkin bread pudding with spiced coconut ice cream. Yum and yummer! I don’t get to treat myself like this often, but I’m sure glad I did. I consider it my Christmas gift to myself! The only thing that could have made lunch better would be meeting Jen Carroll in person… Although she kinda scares me. ;)

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

Finding Your Purpose

I was sitting on the floor by my gate in the Philadelphia airport this morning when I saw a sight that surely would have buckled my knees had I been standing. There was a lady wearing one of those super high (higher than the one pictured) orthopedic shoes you wear when one of your legs is shorter than the other on one of her feet. And on the other foot… was a Skechers Shape Up. Now, I’ve always thought they looked like orthopedic shoes, but to see one paired up with an actual shoe lift was just too much.

If the Skechers marketing team was smart, they’d ditch the “they help you become fit and toned doing everyday stuff and hey Joe Montana wears them too” angle and press forward with the “perfect if you’re in an aircast or have a little leg” angle. Whether they realize it or not, it’s what that ugly ass shoe was put on this earth to do.

It’s time for Skechers Shape Ups to step into their destiny.

I really don’t have a lot more to say about that, other than I wish you — and by “you” I mean “every single one of you” — could have been there to see it.

It was pink. Did I mention it was pink?

OK, then. Bye.