I am hungry

I am on a ‘get sexy for Comedy Central’ diet/exercise program and I am very, very hungry. Funnyman and buddy Joe Robinson told me (clears throat) and I quote, “If you get too skinny you’ll lose ten minutes off your act.” And he is so right… I’d have to replace some of my best material. I heart Joe for even suggesting that in the next two months I could lose enough weight to render my plus size jokes useless. But I don’t want to look like a donut on TV. If cameras add ten pounds and I lose ten pounds, then on TV I’ll look like I look right now in real life… which now that I think of it, really is not encouraging at all.

Anyway I thought of writing a list about diet/fat free products that claim to taste just like the real thing… but DON’T. But that list started getting too long. So I thought instead I’d post a list of diet products that I think taste as good as the real thing, and that list was hella shorter. So far I’ve found:

  1. Diet Dr. Pepper

That’s it.

If any of you have other products I should add to my list let me know. Because spinach greens, Diet Dr. Pepper and orange Tic Tacs are getting real old. real quick.