I don’t know why the name of this bank bothers me so much, but for years, whenever I’m in the Midwest and see it, I wanna scream,? “REDUCE THE FRACTION!!!” It should be 1 2/3 bank.* Per Wikipedia:

“Fifth Third’s unusual name is the result of the June 1, 1908, merger of Third National Bank and Fifth National Bank, to become the Fifth-Third National Bank of Cincinnati (the hyphen was later dropped).”

Well, you know what? That’s dumb. My friend Hanna said that, since it was a merger, they should have just called it Eighth Bank. Because: addition. I guess we should just be glad they didn’t call it 3/5 Bank. Because: slavery.

I bet the Third National Bank people fought to have their name first, though. I bet they were all, “We were two national banks ahead of you! Our name should go first!!!” I wonder how close they came to that catastrophe. I’m willing to bet they had all the stationery printed, bought the domain name (yes, in 1908)… and then a dude named Earl came in like, Aww naw! Hell naw, man!” **

I know nothing about the quality of services they provide, but I hate this bank.

*actual neuroses, not a joke.
*joke, not an indication of actual wiilingness to bet

National Underground Railroad Freedom Center — a photo essay


So last Friday while I was still in Cincy, I visited the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I felt like I needed to experience something moving and inspirational in order to balance out some of the other things I saw while I was there… The museum is relatively new (5 yrs.) and really one of the best I’ve ever been to. If you’re ever visiting Cincinnati, I highly recommend you visit.


There was an audio tour that you could listen to to enhance the exhibits. Really, really good.


I probably shouldn’t admit this, but whenever I see a photo of Frederick Douglass I can’t help but think of this guy from Tales from the Hood:


or Sam Jackson in Unbreakable:


I can’t help it. And I’m not gonna lie… I was a little disappointed that Sam Jackson wasn’t doing Frederick Douglass’ voice. Angela Bassett and Oprah lent their voices… I’m just sayin’. It’d have been perfect.

Continue reading →

Balancing the Qi in Cincinnati — sung to the tune of the WKRP theme song

My trip to Cincy has been absolutely delicious so far. And its only been a day. Last nite some  students brought their dog to one of my college shows. The dog was called Lil Nigga. I have so much more to say about that. Stay tuned for the video blog… Then today I witnessed a fight between two rival homeless factions in Fountain Square… It started like this:

“50-cent ho. That’s why you got pregnant by yo own cousin.”

“Yo mama’s a 50-cent ho. I would kill you but I don’t need another charge.”

Of COURSE I have videotape — who do you think you’re dealing with here? I can’t wait to get home and cut together this blog.

Tomorrow I think I’m gonna go to the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center. I feel like I need to go see something historical and meaningful and inspiring to counter the ignorance I’ve seen so far. I think of it as balancing the qi.

Be back soon, E