Arrest them skeeters!

I was minding my own business in the park today, when I was assaulted by a gang of misguided, at-risk mosquitoes. They attacked my face mercilessly… Do you see all those lumps on my forehead and cheeks? It looks like somebody jacked me up. If I had a boyfriend, I swear someone would be calling the police on him right now. I want those mosquitoes brought up on charges! My girl Mel said I should put calamine lotion on them, and another Facebook friend said I should use Blue Star ointment — both great suggestions, seeing as how I was looking for something white and/or shiny to draw more attention to the golf balls on my face for my show tomorrow. :(

Hateful-ass DC skeeters… I guess it’s just the way they were hatched.