It’s 2:18 a.m. And I had to post this before it left my brain. The following is a real life conversation between BFF Keisha and a random dude at this bar we just left. I was transcribing it in my phone as it was happening. You’re welcome.
DUDE: Girl yo eyes so pretty. You got the prettiest eyes in the world. Let me take you to a nice steak dinner… Lobster tail, with real crabmeat.
KEISHA: Real crabmeat?
DUDE: Yeah girl. Can I buy you a drink?
KEISHA: No, thank you.
DUDE: What’s wrong, you don’t like dark skinned men?
KEISHA: I have a man.
DUDE: Well shit girl you so fine you could bring him with you. He could order some appetizers or something.
Appetizers? Do y’all understand how large a man’s you-know-whats have to be for him to say something like that??!? You guys, being there to witness this exchange may have been the best thing that’s happened to me thus far in 2011. Dude was so serious. And I’m not mad at his game. He was a little older, and I bet that rap used to get him mad play back in the 90’s. The funniest part is he was so smooth with it. He said it like he was Oran “Juice” Jones talking to old girl in “The Rain…” or the bass singer in an R&B group. I almost feel like Keisha’s boyfriend should be OK with her going out with this guy. Just once. Because he earned it.
Sidebar, this whole convo got me to thinking about this video blog my friend Roy did a few months ago. He’s a bit angry in it. But angry is funny. So watch and enjoy. ;)
I’m not even sure how I stumbled on this blog, but ‘Real Crab Meat’ is hilarious. And I completely agree with Mothaf*ckin Red Lobster!! My mom used to take me there when I was a kid. It was a big deal I had to get dressed up.
Oran “Juice” Jones!!!! I have not laughed so hard in 2011. Erin, I thank you.
2011! That was the funniest thing that happened to me in 2011. Memories :)
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