I went to a Wizards game a few weeks ago and saw one of the grossest things I’ve ever seen. Admittedly, I’m grossed out pretty easily, but I think some of y’all will agree with me. And if that glowing promo didn’t do it for you — watch for my involuntary use of the word ‘lunchin.’ In my 14 years living in DC I’ve managed to keep that word out of my vocabulary. Well, it seeped in somehow, and now I’m worried that it’s here to stay… Also the wild turkeys from a few blogs back make an appearance. And my friend Alicia — who is going to kill me for this video since the only two clips of her in it are of her screaming at the top of her lungs… I think maybe I’m just not gonna tell her about it.
This past Saturday I was in Baltimore to open up the shows for my comedy homie Jason Weems‘ first DVD taping.
Me and Jason -- so proud of him!
As a lot of you know I have a very large family. 13 aunts and uncles and a whole heap (yes I really typed that) of cousins just on my dad’s side. And a bunch of my cousins — 6 of them — came out to the show. My cousins Martin, Margie, Marsha, Morris and Malynda (below) are all siblings.
I’m an only child but over the course of my childhood several of my cousins lived with us off and on. Morris (second from right) probably stayed with us the longest. And though he already had four sisters of his own, he got another one when he moved to Jersey.
That's Morris
I terrorized him. Once, I was being a brat before my school bus came to pick me up and I locked him in the basement and forgot. He missed work and there was no phone or TV or anything down there. It wasn’t a full basement. Just a storage freezer and a furnace. Poor thing. Another time I scratched his WHAM! Make It Big album — his prized possession at the time — when I wasn’t even supposed to touch it. I knew I was wrong so I volunteered to use my allowance money to buy him a new one. See, I wasn’t ALL bad. I could go on and on… We haven’t spent much time together since then — cause I was a kid and he was a grown ass man. So he still kinda views me as a bratty 8 year-old some 20+ years later. ;) It was so nice to have him there and see what I’m doing and what I’m like now as an adult. Such a treat to see him laughing.
My cousin Martin is an artist. He painted this abstract piece for me — see that’s me on a stage in a theater — and gave it to me after my show.
How sweet, right? I’m so happy to have a Martin Goggins original.
The older I get the more I appreciate my family and how supportive they are. And I want to make sure I do everything I can to support them in their endeavors. Thanks for all your love and support. You guys have no idea how much it means to me.
Super adorable, right? I mean, the Iggles, Snuggies and talking about people that shouldn’t make it to the future are three of my absolute favorite things… The only thing that could have made it more perfect is if I were standing in front of a CVS. Hahaha, maybe next time.
THANKS KATE!!!
Remember back when you laughed at me for having a (3) Snuggie(s)? My how far you’ve come!
Some friends and I ventured out to Marvin last nite for some free fun and the Michael Jackson Birthday Tribute Party.
I know it doesn’t look like I’m having a good time here, but that’s just because my friend Keisha and I like to take photos and pretend she drags me out of the house and forces me to go to parties against my will. Please see Exhibit B from my birthday this year:
Moving on, we didn’t get to the party til about 11:30 pm. — cause I was pressed to watch the (very underwhelming) season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey and because the Monday old school party at Marvin doesn’t even start til 10. Yes on a Monday. Don’t judge us. I do *this* for a living and Keisha is on vacay this week…
I didn’t get home til after 2 am. And because it was so late, there was no parking on my block so I circled around and ended up having to park a couple blocks from my building. As I was getting out of the car I saw a DCMP squad car coming down the block. The officer driving the car slowed to ask if I was OK getting back to the building and I said sure, thanks to the new ultra bright street lights that were recently installed in my neighborhood. Making small talk while I gathered my stuff out of the back seat, I asked when they were installed since I only noticed after I came home from my last trip. “Vacation?” he asked. No, I travel for work… What kind of work do I do? I’m an entertainer.
Now I’m starting to walk towards my building and the officers are driving slowly next to me.
“My partner is kinda in love with you,” said the driver cop.
And that’s when it started to feel weird… The cop on the passenger side leaned across his partner and started asking questions: What’s my name? (so tempted to say Puddin’ Tain). What kind of entertainer?… I knew they were police officers but I don’t care what your job is, if you’re a man creeping down the block trying to holler at 2am, I don’t need you knowing my name, what I do for a living, and where I live right off the jump. I appreciated their gesture and even if their motivation wasn’t 100% genuine concern for my well-being, I was happy to see them there patrolling the neighborhood. But I picked up my phone pretended to dial and waved goodbye to them as I got to my gate.
The hilarious Leighann Lord said I may have missed out on a “how I met your Daddy” story. And maybe she’s right, but I was super uncomfortable… I swear if they hadn’t been cops, I probably would have called the police.
And now I leave you with the song that was running thru my head the entire time cop #2 was talking across his partner to ask me questions:
This morning I was talking to a good friend who is turning in her letter of resignation today from her cushy corporate job where she travels all over the world, to pursue self employment and follow her dreams. HOORAY FOR THAT!!! She hadn’t presented her letter to her bosses yet and I guess she just wanted to talk it out one last time with someone who had been thru what she was about to go thru. I was flattered that she thought to call me, but at the same time I was thinking, “I am the last person anyone should be calling for advice or consult on how to prepare for leaving your job.” I mean sure I did it. But I certainly didn’t do it the ‘right’ way.
I had plans to do things differently. I put a huge cash down payment into my condo and planned on refinancing and cashing out to give myself a nice cushion when I left my job. But just as I was about to quit, the market crashed. I lost nearly half of the money in my 401-K and the value of my home plummeted. But I knew I couldn’t stand to work my day job one more day so I went on with my plans, got what I could out of the house and prayed real hard. And it’s definitely been a struggle. Some months are great while others are almost completely dry and I often feel like the most irresponsible person in the world. I had all the things I was taught adults were supposed to have — a good job, a home, retirement savings — but I wasn’t happy. So I took a leap and have (Praise God) found a way to make it every month. Sometimes I have to ask for help. Sometimes I have to work temp jobs. And I’ve had to learn to say ‘no’ to lots of things. But the one thing I’ve learned in life that’s carried me through thus far is that there is no such thing as the perfect time.
For anything.
No perfect time to quit your job. No perfect time to get married and begin a family. No one right way or perfect time to do anything in life. The best you can do is pray to whomever you pray to for guidance, make smart decisions and work hard. As my friend reminded me (and remember I was the one that was supposed to be helping her) in this market and especially after Madoff and the Wall Street collapse, etc. even tons of rich people woke up broke. Either of us could have been blind-sided and laid off with no other skills to fall back on… Thankfully that was not the case.
I wasn’t sure exactly where I was going with this when I started typing and even now I’m still not sure — but what I do know is that if I had never done what I did to pursue a career in comedy I’d be a lot less happy. I wouldn’t know so many awesome people, wouldn’t have been so many awesome places, and I’d probably have resented myself forever. I love my life. Even the hard parts that make me cry.
“It’s just money.” — That’s what my friend, the wise and extremely awesome Erin Foley always tells me. “Do you feel funny? Are you happy? Are you making progress with the act and with bookers? If so, then remember the rest is just money.” Easier said, I know. But it’s so, so true. And since the time for whatever you may wanna do is probably never gonna be right — Why. Not. Now?
Iām not sure why it still feels so surreal when one of my friends gets married or has a babyā¦ Maybe itās because Iām in denial about how old I am. ;) Maybe itās cause despite all weāve seen and gone thru, I still think of us as those kids growing up in Jersey. Or maybe itās because those things seem so far off in my lifeā¦ But whatever the case I had another one of those moments this weekend when I attended the wedding of one of my absolute favorite people on the planet!
This is my friend Daryl and his gorgeous bride Lyla. They had one of the most amazing weddings Iāve ever been to and they partied HARD all nite long!
Nearly all of my closest friends from high school and elementary school were there ā in fact we joked that Daryl and Lyla financed our 15th HS reunion and there was no need for us to go since pretty much everyone we cared to see was already there. But as I was looking around the room I realized that just about everybody, save two or three of us was married and/or had kids. A couple of years ago I thought, āMan, they all sure got married up quick.ā But now I realize Iām the one thatās slow rolling.
Sometimes (a lot actually) I worry that my lifestyle is making it exponentially harder for me to make moves in that area of my life (How would I even fit a relationship in? I had to bow out of their reception early so I could hit the road back from Jersey to BWI for a 6am flight). But I also sincerely believe that I will have those things if they are meant for me. In the meantime I will be happy knowing that all my married friends are in very happy, healthy relationships. So if I ever find myself venturing down that road, Iāll have some fantastic couples to ping for advice!
Again best of luck to the new Mr. & Mr. Phills as they begin their life together. I love you guys and canāt wait to see what comes next!
HEY, ARE YOU EITHER A WOMAN OR A MAN? ARE YOU EITHER STRAIGHT OR GAY? DO YOU LIKE FUN AND HATE SHOWS THAT SUCK?
YES? Then I’ve got the perfect show for you!
I will be a part of a really awesome show taking place in the DC Improv Lounge July 9th and 10th. One of my ABSOLUTE BEST comedy friends and Last Comic Standing roommate, Erin Foley (Comedy Central Presents Half Hour Special, Last Comic Standing, Almost Famous), and her friend Jason Dudey (LOGO) are bringing their nationally touring show “COME OUT LAUGHING: Some Gay, Some Straight, All Hilarious” to the Baltimore and DC areas.
Here’s a short press release about the show:
‘COME OUT LAUGHING’ COMES TO BALTIMORE AND DC
Stand Up Comedy Show Uses Humor To Build Bridges Between Gay And Straight
06.28.2010 ā Los Angeles, CA ā Next week, local DC-area comedy clubs will play host to āCome Out Laughing,ā a show featuring both gay and straight comics playing at Magoobyās in Baltimore, MD on July 8, and in Washington, DC on July 9 and 10 at the DC Improv Lounge.
āBringing everyone together to laugh with no other agenda. Isnāt that what we all need right now?ā asks Jason Dudey, who co-created āCome Out Laughingā in 2008 along with fellow comedian Erin Foley. Now a regular monthly show at the world famous Laugh Factory Comedy Club in Long Beach, California, āCome Out Laughingā features some of the hottest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and straight comics in the country, with countless appearances on Showtime, Comedy Central and HBO.
The showās rave reviews have fueled a nationwide tour, with sold-out stops at local clubs and theaters across the country. Performing alongside Jason and Erin as part of the Washington DC show is popular local comedian, Erin Jackson, well known for her appearances onĀ The Ellen DeGeneres Show and Last Comic Standing. Says Jackson, “I’m really looking forward to this event, though I recognize how hard it can be as the one ‘different’ person on a show like this… I just hope Jason isn’t too self conscious about not being named Erin.”Ā In Baltimore, Foley and Dudey are joined by Zach Toczynski, a gay comic based in DC who hosts a monthly showcase at Titan Bar.
āI love the concept of this show,ā says Foley. āIād like to think weāve gotten beyond the idea of gay and straight as opposite things. Weāre all just living our lives. And life can be hilarious, no matter who you are.ā
Check out my latest Me In Your City video. It features me and buddy Drake Witham during our week working out in Reno, NV. We visited the old west, toured a gold mine, and kicked it in Mark Twain’s bathroom. It was my first time in Reno and I kinda expected it to be more like Vegas…
But ummmm… no. Hahaha. If you’ve been to Reno you know what I mean. ;) Well I hope you enjoy the video!
